When should parents stop hitting their children?When did yours?

Question

I mean when should parents stop SPANKING their child?

Answer 1

Many people these days see hitting or smacking children as an act of violence, an act of domination or an act of coercion and they want to avoid both of these things. And hand in hand with the punishment model goes the idea of coercion through threat. And people know that children learn a lot by example and they don't want their children to learn that a good way of getting what you want in this world is to dominate, to get violent, to threaten people or even to manipulate others.

The correct way to get children and young people to adopt useful and sensible boundaries it to talk to them, to explain things, to listen to them, to encourage them to express all of their thoughts and feelings, to let them know that will never ever be punished for being honest about their thought, feelings, perceptions, opinions and judgements, to take their point of view into consideration whenever possible and to explain very clearly when their point of view can't be taken into consideration and why. If they trust you and if they respect you out of love and not out of fear and if you use a strong clear assertive voice in any situation that requires emergency action then you should have no problems. And there is something called the "naughty seat" approach for dealing with persistent anti-social behavour in a child where a child has to sit in a special seat for 5 minutes and then apologise before he or she allowed to get on with other things. If you must use pressure to condition and brainwash your kids in accordance to your own faulty and rubbish ways of living the the "naughty seat" should not cause any lasting harm or damage.

And to answer your question I would say that most parents stop hitting their kids when they are big enough to retaliate. But some parents are so f_cking stupid that they don't stop until the retaliation takes place. But don't worry too much because although you have no idea when to stop when it comes to unreasonable pressure and violence. Young people know that violence is f_cking destructive and so they will usually not go too far in teaching you a well overdue lesson.

I'm sorry to be so hard on you but this notion that parents always know what's best for their kids whereas kids know f_ck all makes me sick. As a kid I always knew what was best but no f_cker listened to me. As a result I had a very unpleasant childhood. Childhood is supposed to be the happiest time of your life but my childhood was completely spoiled by well intentioned idiots. Listen to your children and take them seriously and you might learn something.

Whitney Houston: "I believe that children are our future, treat them well and they will lead the way".

Martin Camden.

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Answer 2

Hope you mean spanking. When they stop acting up! Should be in the 7-10 year time frame, after that they are too old to hit and at an age where it might be time to discusss what the hell this kid's problem is. My background to this answer is: this is how my parents handled us, and we all turned out pretty good.

Answer 3

I think parents should never hit their children. Doing so only means that they have lost control. If you hit a child you are telling him that it is okay to use brute force to get somebody to comply with your wishes.

My father never hit me. For the most part my mother stopped when I was 13 when I struck back for the first time. Except when she slapped me once when I was 15 and came home later than my curfew.

When you are raised with violence, it is very hard to break the pattern. I did, and used time out instead. Sometimes, I sent my children to their bedrooms, not so much to punish them, but to protect them from myself. I needed time to calm down and remind myself that I was the adult and should act accordingly.

Answer 4

Its never ok to HIT a child, if you are talking about spanking them, you stop when they stop doing what they aren't supposed to be doing...

Answer 5

When the children gets a stable mind set of their own. Its hard to demarc that stage. My parents stopped beating me up when i became a sensible guy , i think when i was 14 or 15

Answer 6

You know.............I don't believe in hitting\spanking your kids. BUT(big but) I am still afraid of my parents kicking my butt!

My kids get away with things my parents would have beat me, skinned me, buried me, and got on with the rest of their lives for!

My response sounds harsh, but it really is about I think we lost a bit of ground in parenting. Your mom and dad should be the worst thing you have to face............not a justice system!



I know laws are there to protect abused children, yet......oh just put in any scenario..........parents who really care and love thier kids, should be feared more than GOD if they(kids) step out of line!

My kids have not endured my initial response to beat them down, BUT they know that long-winded lecture can turn ugly anytime!

Answer 7

Why would parents hit a child? It doesn't teach them anything except fear. My parents never hit or spanked me

Answer 8

I don't believe that parents should ever hit their children. I raised two children without spanking and they are loving, kind, successful adults.

Answer 9

honestly, i never got hit. i guess it's lucky that my parents found alternate methods of controlling and improving my behaviour. it was all pretty loving, and i think i wound up okay. i learned self discipline and respect and diligence and how to behave at home and beyond it. i don't have kids, but if i did, all i would do is love the heck out them and try to do the best i could to make sure they became compassionate and productive adults.

that's an interesting question though. thanks for asking it.

Answer 10

Parents should not hit their children at any age.