why won't these 2 year olds listen?! and why do they think its cute/funny?

Question

I work at a daycare, in the 2 year old room. There is a child who doesn't listen to me nor my co-workers, and whenever we discipline him, he smiles at us as if it were funny.

So I ask, what on earth can I (or his mother) do to make him listen to us better and for him to take his punishment seriously?

His mother is absolutely an airhead. I feel its my duty to ask so I can present some answers to her, and maybe she'll correct his behavior.

Thanks for reading and answering my question!
=)

I work at a daycare, in the 2 year old room. There is a child who doesn't listen to me nor my co-workers, and whenever we discipline him, he smiles at us as if it were funny. So I ask, what on earth can I (or his mother) do to make him listen to us better and for him to take his punishment seriously?

edit://Aug.21: Thank you for your answers, and I'll explain myself in a tad more detail: this daycare job is my first-ever job, and I'm trying my hardest to help out. I know I can't tell someone how to raise a child, but his mother asked us personally if we could sit down with her and suggest what we do. I've told the senior attendent that works with me about these answers and she's considering them, so thank you all a lot for the comments, and I hope we can get this resolved for him and his mother =)

Answer 1

when i was a child, i would laugh at people who were trying to correct me because i hated being wrong. i remember laughing, and feeling like i should be crying, but i didn't want to show myself as being upset by someone that i didn't care about.

sometimes, i am told that i still act like a two year old. heh.

anyway, the type of diciplining you are doing doesn't affect him as much, possibly also because it is so different from his mother. as much as you say she's an airhead, for all you know, she does try, and tries a different way is all. my advice is to not yell at him, or tell him how he's wrong... but try to see if you can act like you're trying to get on his level and see what he thinks is going on

i mean, you really need to show him that you can understand on his own level, and you'll probably find that he's actually got an idea of why he should be doing whatever he should not have been doing.

of course, it's also possible that he'll get angry at such an attempt. which means that it's working, and that you just need to wait til he understands that you respect him as well, and would like respect. you can't say to respect someone, because he doesn't know what the word means, only has an idea of what the idea means (sub-consciously)

Answer 2

A two-year old is typically not a good "listener." He's two- so he's exploring and testing his boundries. If there are things he needs to learn because his choices are unsafe - give him direct consequences for his actions that make sense to HIM. For example, if he is hitting, don't give him a time out. It does not make sense to him - his thoughts are "I hit Johnny, so now I have to sit in this chair." What WOULD make sense is to hold his hand and practice gentle touches, and then redirect him to another part of the room. Alot of people force apologies as well, but that basically teaches a loss of respect and meaning of the word "sorry." I try to have my kids say what they did was wrong and they won't do it again. (If you have siblings, you know you were not always "sorrry"!!)
I have been a infant-preschool teacher for a long time and understand that there are difficult kids, but your job is to provide him with a warm, caring environment; positive role-modeling, and enough activities and choices in the room that he doesn't get bored. The best thing you can do as a teacher when you are frustrated is not complain about it, but take a step back and ask yourself what you can do to make the situation better for the child. And remember to have a sense of humor about it - is what the child doing really that bad, or are you just irritated? If its the latter and you can't get over it, you might need to look into other career choices for the kids' sake. Working with young children is not for everyone.

Answer 3

It's a two year old's job to push you as far as he can until he learns his boundaries. That's how children learn, he just wants to see your reaction to whatever it is that he is doing. If he is showing bad behavior, and into something that he should not be, just remove him from the situation. To a child of his age, it is the absolute worse thing to be taken away from everyone and everything. A simple chair away from the rest of the children for a period of a minute per their age, for a two year old this means two minutes in the chair. I guarantee he will figure out very quickly that if he misbehaves he will not be able to play, his bad behavior will stop. Remember you need to get down on the ground and look at him at eye level, explain what behavior was unacceptable, and then put him in the chair for two minutes, when his two minutes are up, you can then ask for an apology, and he may once again join the class. You must act like you have forgiven him, and not be mad anymore. A little positive reinforcement during his nice playtime is always helpful. Kids love to please their teacher...A simple, "you're playing so nicely now Johnny" will go a long way...

Answer 4

This child sounds like a normal 2 year old and it worries me that he is the only child giving you problems. This child is testing you and working out how far he or she can go with you. Look for positives and praise accordingly don't ever ever make a fuss of his bad behaviour. You are not in a position to get angry or flustered about this particular child. You are being paid to care for this child, make his environment safe and happy while he is with you. Concentrate on that and reward his good behaviour. I can't understand why you are asking this question when you work in a daycare centre. It worries me a little unless this is your first job and you are learning. I hope all works out with the 2year old and stay cool.

Answer 5

Remember, he's only 2!! It sounds to me the issue lies with your unrealistic expectations rather than his behaviour. My girl is 2 and does exactly the same thing. It's totally normal and how they learn to assert their power. Maybe some of your problems lie with the fact you are 'punishing' and 'disciplining' him. They're really still babies at 2. Do you have kids?? From your post I think not.

I'd be changing jobs or age groups because you don't even seem to understand developmental milestones and age appropriate behaviour. And being "an airhead" doesn't make you a bad parent...

Answer 6

Wow you are a brave soul..Working with a roomful of 2 year olds in their terrible two's ....Evidently the childs mother doesn't discipline him at home, but I wouldn't be giving out advice to a parent on how to raise their child...If you put him in time out during your time with him...doesn't mean mom is going to do the same while he is with her...Most parents will take it as an insult if you tell them how to raise their child...Airhead or not

Answer 7

A 2 year old is too young to understand the spoken anguage yet
Some very young children talk a few words or babble a lot, but a 2year old mostly understands you no better then an Albanian can .
It is facial expressions , body language and tone of voice, that he understands and even then he is too young to analyse your intent, But he probably only speaks about 50 words of english. and cannot understand a word when you talk normally to him after all he is only a baby

Answer 8

Just be consistent in your punishment of him. And don't let him see you getting upset or angry over his behavior. If he gets a reaction out of you, he's won. That's all he's looking for. When he doesn't get a reaction anymore, the behavior should stop. And good luck on the mother... if she's that much of an airhead, he's not getting ANY discipline at home at all. And probably won't ever get it either.

Answer 9

i have 2 yo twins and they are the same - altho very well behaved they do push the limits and esp my son does it more everyday. He gets this little smirk on his face after i tell him not to do something and he repeats what i just told him off for. Its just natural for 2 year olds to find out where the boundaries are and to make sure they know whats right from wrong...then once they are 3 and over they will know exactly where they stand

Answer 10

Make sure when disciplining the little boy it is concise at all times and not to give in. Unfortunately the mother needs to participate in that as well, and this is why the little boy thinks it is funny because he can get away with being bad with his mother.