I liked him for his smile, voice, and i loved when we locked eyes. He was the first guy who brought me the most joy just being w/ him and the most pain from not being with him.
2006-08-19 19:01:44 · 17 answers · asked by sueno_sami_lou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh honey. Big (((HUGS)))
#1 DON'T listen to the radio. Make yourself a list of really happy songs that have nothing to do w/ love. Ones that just make you want to dance. Shiny Happy People sort of songs.
#2 Keep yourself distracted. Whatever you can think of DO IT. Take this opportunity to join a gym, join a class or volunteer. Pick up ANY kind of new hobby, it will keep your mind busy and give you a positive outlet and you will make new friends and even meet new people. Write your own personal mission statement. Read -- books can really take you away to another world instantly. Immerse yourself in some good fantasy or sci fi but stay away from romance novels! Read self help books.Take a dance class. You will get to dance with a new guy every 2 minutes! No stress.
#3 Change of Scenery -- many girls like to go thru the ritual boyfriend closure where you purge your life of any/everything to do with that person. I remember burning all my boyfriends love letters and giving all the stupid trinkets we'd collected to good will. I felt GREAT not to be reminded of him any more & he felt horrified I could even DO such a thing ... thinking I would cherish them forever? Now I cherishME!
#4 When you are caught by the damn love song or when you are really in the pits of dispair don't beat yourself up. Allow yourself a good cry when you need it and move on. When you feel yourself heading down memory lane cognitively change your train of thought.
#5 Comedy. Start hitting the comedy isle at the video store. Only watch things that make you laugh. No romances for a while. Action movies are always good distractions. Put FUNNIEST in your Tivo wishlist. Let me tell you funniest videos is a LOT more fun to watch when you can fast forward thru all the commercialls and fluff.
#6 Just Breathe. Take it one day at a time; I know that sounds trite but as a former suicidal depressive I have been in situations where dealing with anything more than right now or today was more than I could tolerate. Keep in mind that you deserve someone who loves you just the way you are, no matter what. You are deserving of unconditional love all you have to do is have the patience and wherewithall to reconize it when it comes along.
Good Luck! Live well, laugh often, LOVE MUCH!
2006-08-19 19:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by communion6 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a couple of things that are great about getting older and this is one of them. I remember that feeling that I was going to die without this person, I literally thought my heart would stop beating, couldn't imagine even getting out of bed without the prospect of seeing him, cried so much my eyes were swollen like big hot red onions for days. After a few of those you'll realize that there is always someone else. Maybe you won't feel about them the exact same way but when you are young the world is full of hot young guys and there is always another one waiting to take the old one's place (at least there was for me).
The bad part about getting older is that along with that incredible pain came incredible highs too...just the touch of someone's hand, the smell of their skin, the way they talk. You do stuff for the very first time with someone, nothing tops that. When you get older you lose that too..it's not the same kind of fire you had when you were young. Too much baggage, too many memories get in the way of flinging your arms wide open, closing your eyes and jumping headlong into love. When you get older and have been burned a bunch of times you will never, ever do that again.
But for now, enjoy the highs. They will come again, maybe with this guy, maybe with someone else. Best thing to do is keep busy. Sports, hanging with friends, shopping. Do something to make yourself feel good. Get a pedicure, splurge and buy something you've always wanted, go away for the weekend (if you can). Do these things even if you don't want to, act happy even if you're not and one day you will wake up and you will want to and you will feel happy and you won't have to fake it.
The other option is to go right out and find another guy and this is the option a lot of people take. Not the best option certainly but sometimes the easiest one. Enjoy being young, it's great, one day you will actually look back fondly and laugh at the way you felt over this guy, believe it or not.
2006-08-19 19:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should try 2 find hobbies that interest you or where u can vent, like poems or art, maybe even pick up dance classes or tae bo or something just 2 get your mind off of him. There are more guys out there, so don't worry. This wasn't meant 2 be, because everything that is, will always find its way so keep hope.
2006-08-19 19:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by ginie_in_a_bottle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How to Survive the Loss of a Love is a good book. Here's a poem from it:
you left traces of yourself all over my room
a poem scribbled in the margin of a book
a corner of a page turned over in another book
your smell on my blanket
where are you tonight?
in whose room are you leaving traces?
are you perhaps discovering the traces of my self I left on your soul?
2006-08-19 19:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaks up are hard. They take time, if it hurts its best to separate yourself from him as much as possible until you've moved one. Trying to be friends hurts and you will keep thinking in the back of your mind can you be more than friends. Also find someone new, start dating again.
2006-08-19 19:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by acidicblackrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no real answer for this one. I'd just suggest depending on friends for comfort, going out trying new things. Try to come up with a new hobby
2006-08-19 19:07:05 · answer #6 · answered by Christian B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cud get over a guy u really like by going out more often with ur friends andbulding a big space between you and the guy you like. stop looking at him toO.. but if you really cant get over him alOne, wait for the next guy who wud make you fall.. GoodLuck!
2006-08-19 19:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by --dObLegeE-- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn sometimes i feel the same way about this girl but i hadn't got no girl since bush got elected but now listen stop worrying about him just be glad that you had someone that really cared now go to the mall or go to the club people get hurt likethis dont beat yourself about what happen it happen to me or it can anybody is normal you have to get used to it one way or the other thats why love is
2006-08-19 19:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by LUIS ROSA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooo. you've got it bad. :)
it'll take time to get over him. the pain will eventually go away. there are just so many new people to be met, new guys you'll like...
go out with your friends, keep yourself busy, let out your emotions in a diary or journal.
2006-08-19 19:06:14 · answer #9 · answered by Isabela 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll survive. It's like grieving for someone who died....just worst, because he is actually still alive, but you can't have him. I overheard a nun say this to one of my classmates (years ago), who was very lovesick....she said to her, " Oh, stop it! Chances are he isn't even thinking about you." That instantly opened her eyes....
2006-08-19 19:15:25 · answer #10 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋