What would you do or how would you feel of you had to live life like this?

Question

Have 2 BIG families-foster & biological-with a LOT of members, & not 1 member to turn to for support?

That makes me feel really low.

Answer 1

I grew up with 12 brothers and sisters. ( originally 17 kids, 4 passed away before I remember ) and we unfortunately have never been close. Before my parents passed away a couple of years ago we at least got together once every few years to celebrate milestones with them, although there were always a couple of siblings missing. Now that they are gone the family rarely talks to each other. I have 2 siblings that I have not seen for almost 30 years and 6 that I haven't seen for 12 years.
I always thought that as we aged we would become closer but that has not been the case. Two of my brothers have taken their own lives, one recently, and even this has not brought them any closer, but has rather had the opposite effect. I've always wanted to be emotionally closer to my family and have tried several times to establish a relationship with them but they have no interest in maintaining contact with each other or me.

In an attempt to let my son establish some type of relationship with them I moved back to my hometown ( where my family still lives) over one year ago so that he could hopefully meet his aunts, uncles and cousins. After one year, dozens of phone calls, attempts to put together a family reunion, etc. only two sisters and a couple of cousins have bothered to come and meet him. They have never met my son. ( One was a sister from the states who needed a place to stay while she was here visiting friends and stayed with us ) This has hurt my 14 year old son terribly, and he has asked if we can move back out to the west coast where we had some very close friendships with people who were like family to us.
I realized many years ago that my family would probably never change regardless of the circumstances, and even though my son wanted to be closer to them I tried to prepare him for the probable outcome of his expectations.

I have always told him that it was important for the two of us to remain close and that he is very much loved. I stress the importance of family so that he knows that even if it's just the two of us, that we are a family which he is a very important part of and that will never change. Our friends have always been an extension of our family and he is now excited to be going back home where his friends are. ( his family, as he calls them)

It's so sad when families are so distant from one another but the way to break the cycle is to teach your children that this is not the norm and teach them how important it is to respect your family and treat them accordingly. Set a new example for them. Make a life for yourself surrounded by good solid and supportive friends and set goals for yourself. You can't change your family, but you can change the way you think and the way you live. I will always love my family but I have had to put things in a different perspective and realize that happiness comes from within my self and not depend on them for that, and to not ponder on what could be, but rather on the blessings I have in my own life.

To me family is a group of people who care about and love one another, whether related by blood or not. My son and I are my family, but he also has adopted others to fill the roles where his biological family has left a void. We love these people and know we have their support and love. In our circumstance our friends are like family and our family is like friends. Strange, I know, but it is a harsh reality.

Make your own life and do what you need to in order to give yourself peace of mind and happiness. The people that care about you will be supportive of you and the ones that don't have made that decision on their own. You can't change that, but you can make the decision to not let it affect your life. I really can relate to how you are feeling and I wish you all the best and happiness in the future.

Answer 2

Get them all together in the family room, sit them down, and talk till the cows come home girl. I wish I had the chance. If they are to busy watching t.v to notice you, turn it off. If yall are eating dinner just say it, who cares if it ruins there meal, there will be many pleasurable nights for pigging out. And even if then nobody cares, when everyone is settled in their beds, go in and disturb them and ask for some advice with the note in mind that they might of had a bad day, you ask them in the tone of respect (not demanding). I really hope this helps! Cause its the last thing you want on your mind, that no-one cares about you because its not true!

Answer 3

I have to ask that how, if both families are so big, do you know each and every one of them well enough to "know" that there's no one to turn to. You are underestimating the love families can provide. I suggest you take another look at your situation, and perhaps you will find that the support you need has been there all along, you just haven't figured out how to ask for it yet.

Answer 4

When I was a kid, I lost my dad, then my mom and had no brothers and sisters. Yeah, I was low too. Try and find one member of your family to talk to. Believe me out of all those people, maybe one or two feel the same way.

Answer 5

Make your own family. That is probably your only option. It hurts, I know, I've been there. Now I have a wonderful boyfriend'husband, and two wonderful kids to turn to when i feel low. All I have to do is look at them and then I'm o.k

Answer 6

Make friends. Friends are the family we choose. Those are the ones you should be able to turn to for help when you can't count on your family.

Don't feel bad, everyone feels thatw ay. I'm sure even some of you family feelsthat way. Reach out to them and see what happens.

Good luck!

Answer 7

i think the same way. *extreme fives*. frequently although, I stay as though i'm my own director of my action picture, because of the fact i might % to be an author whilst i'm older. So , there is mostly a voice in my head I make that narrates my existence. i assume I stay somewhat of the two. i do no longer think of that even after explaining to somebody how I stay my own existence interior my head that they might comprehend. I in basic terms stay the way i'm maximum mushy residing. each little thing and each physique around me, is almost a action picture placing each and every time and the interior my head is almost a director on set.

Answer 8

I HAVE lived such a life ALL of my life and it made me a stronger person, I decide who can and can't hurt me emotionally, that is the best thing you can do for yourself, stop letting others hurt you and take control of the life you have, it won't make you popular, but you'll feel better once you rid yourself of the NEED for anyone else, YOU are your own best friend in this world.

Answer 9

That is very upsetting. Both your foster parents and your bio parents (if possible) should be there to support you. Maybe they are not doing their job, or maybe you are not communicating your feelings to them. You need to have an honest talk with them about how you feel. If that doesn't work then talk to your caseworker.

Answer 10

I guess it would make you feel low. I would not like that at all. After all it is hard enough to find someone to talk to these days. But to have a huge family and still no one to lean on, bummer.
Well, I am here for you!
You can call on me anytime!!!! I'm serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!