why am i afraid??

Question

i worked all my life since the day i left school up until i started my family...i always said id go back to work when they were all in full time school and i miss work,that was 4 yrs ago im actually terrified ..iv also been asked to teach dance at the local youth club (this is my field) iv ad to tell the man im feeling apprehensive...im worried im developeing a phobia..im so confident that to fail people wood devastate me..wots wrong with me?i know i can do it but i just cant?

Answer 1

Everyone get used to a certain routine and its easier to stay in the daily routine than to change even a small part.
You know you can do it, so accept the job and very soon you wont remember what you were afraid of.

Answer 2

Don't worry - this is perfectly understandable. It's just because you've spent so long away from the working environment that you can't imagine yourself doing it any more - your memories seem distant, and you can no longer picture yourself successfully accomplishing things to do with work (for example controlling a dance class). If you hadn't seen your family for several years you'd probably be questioning your parenting skills too!

What you're experiencing is just the same as if you'd never done it before, but when you are 16 you have an unrealistic self-confidence which we lose when we get older, so it didn't seem as frightening when you really started in the first place.

Your fear will go away by being able to imagine yourself doing your job well - if you're really struggling to get started you need to try and give yourself small successes - things which will give you instant feedback that you're doing well. Perhaps you could try some small practice dance classes before you let the man advertise the new class he wants you to do, so that you aren't under the pressure of having to deliver the full thing when you start.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Surely the fact that you've been asked to this job would give you confidence? I would think anyone would feel apprehensive teaching youngsters anyway!

You are a professional. Start your first day with a big smile, you will get the back up from the other staff, they will sympathetic to how you will feel. Once you're on your feet again, you will find a fabulous job, as future employers will be impressed you have taken time to teach at a youth club. Good luck!

Answer 4

your self confidence is at and all time low, i need to find work after not working, for heck, i cant remenber when, i am now 53. So to go back to work , heck it scares me silly, and am very apprehensive to, because i same as you think i will fail, i had a talk about this to another person, as they suggested to take things one step at a time, and if you keep thinking that you are going to fail you will, So i started doing some volunteer work in a shop, and really loved it, just an hour a day, so i feel more confindante now, and will try and do a few more hours. then try to get a part time job, and then move into full time if possible, good luck, i know how you feel, but all will be fine

Answer 5

awww, its okay! Everyone adjusts to change differently, there is nothing "wrong" with you at all. Maybe start slow! Start by TAKING the classes yourself, maybe read some books on bettering your people and selling skills, and maybe begin teaching people you KNOW first just to warm yourself to it again. Then I would begin teaching dance at the youth club maybe just once a week, get a feel for it. Once you see how much you are helping the kids there, you will be ready to jump back in!

Answer 6

I can honestly relate to your fear. I’m going through it right now. I worked at a place for 10 years and I had to leave. The stress and unhappiness with my career were getting to me. Now I’m 36, I see myself getting closer and closer to 40 and I feel that I haven’t done anything really productive with my life. So I’m now starting school. It’s scary because at my age, I don’t want to make a mistake and “waste” more time.

The truth is that it’s normal to feel fear. But what is fear? Generally fear comes from the unknown. The unknown fact of whether we’ll make it or not, whether we’ll fail or not? Think about it, if you knew you could not fail at anything, what wouldn’t you try to do, right?

The way I have always seen things, is that nothing in live as no meaning other than the meaning we give it. Nothing is good nor bad, we make it so. I say that because I really believe that problem and failures are like coins, they have two sides. A negative side that if you dwell in it, can set you back, stress you out or even ruin you. A positive side that you can learn from. I truly believe that every problem or failure in live is a blessing in disguise, because those are the moments when we learn the most from. Those are the moments in which we become more intellectually mature. If you choose to look at failure as an educational experience instead of failure, you will become a better and stronger person.

Something else that I believe in blindly, is that everything happens for a reason. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT!!! I believe that there some higher power out there working on our lives. Call it God, karma, or what ever else you chose to call it, I personally prefer to call God. If you see your problems with an open mind, have faith in God, sooner or later you’ll see why things happened. Don’t forget that when one door closes, another one, sometimes, many more open.

For example, I’ve had experiences in my life that tested my character and strength in ways that changed my life. I now realized that those moments, that at one time I saw as failure, thought me the things that I needed to learn in order to succeed in what it was to come later in life.

There’s something funny about fear that I realized a while back, that is that fear is like a self fulfilling prophesy. The more you dwell on it, the more likely you are to procrastinate, the more you procrastinate, the more stress and fear you feel, which in turn makes failure a more likely possibility.

The problems is that we are always good at seen the good and talent in others and never in us. There are times when we need to stop, look back at everything we’ve accomplished, and pad ourselves on the back. I tell you this because what do you have to fear? You sound like a successful person already. Haven’t you worked hard are raising your kids and at being a house wife? Haven’t you have done that successfully so far? I don’t know about you, but I think that being a good parent is very hard work. It’s a job that requires intelligence, patience, leadership skills, strong will, passion, and maturity. Aren’t those all the ingredients you need to succeed at anything? Haven’t you shown that you have it within you already? I sure think so!

Stop contemplating all the possible negative outcomes and concentrate on contemplating on all the positive possible outcomes. You need to give yourself a fair chance and the only way of doing that is by facing your fears, hope for the best, and go for it. Something that I learned long ago is that quite often the fear that I felt was totally unfounded, because once I pushed myself to go for it, I quickly realized that it wasn’t has hard as I had made out to be in my head. I’m sure, in fact, I know that you can relate to that.

So come on girl, go for it with an open mind and if things don’t go your way, then learn from it and I’m sure you’ll do better next time. Keep us posted and GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

this is exactly how I felt when I went back to work. I started with a really easy job just doing basic work in an office. It really increased my confidence and after less than a year I found a more challenging role and I love it. So go for it! You will be absolutely fine!

Answer 8

You just need to adjust to a new way of life for you. You've been away from it for such a long time that you feel apprehensive about going to the working world again. You will get by.

Answer 9

take the first step, set yourself up with a support system, some people that will back you up and encourage you. Have someone you can turn to and lend a shoulder when things might get tough. teaching is a great profession, the least you can show them is the love you have for what you teach, if you can do that, your doing more then most. good luck.

Answer 10

its OK to be scared. i was scared of leaving my old job where i had worked for 8 years despite feeling stressed most of the time and not enjoying my job due to the working conditions. i finally plucked up the courage to leave and thankfully i found the right job. the money is better, only a 4 day week and much less stressful. I only wish I had left my old job sooner.

You'll be OK after you have settled in.