Working Mothers...?

Question

Did your mother work? How did you feel about it as a child and now, as an adult?

I am a stay at home mommy of 3 kiddos ages 8, 4, and 3 mos who is considering getting a job out of financial necessity. I just want to know how this will affet my kids.

So far all of the answers have been from working moms with comments on their own children. I'm really curious to see the answers of adult children whose moms worked.

Answer 1

Well I am a working mom and I had a working mom as a child and it was fine for me. She stayed at home with me till I was 2, then I went to preschool. She was a high school teacher so we had similar hours and holidays off, plus she could easily get a sub if I was sick. My dad was a realtor so his hours were flexible too if she was stuck he could always get me in a pinch.

I felt fine about her working, in fact I loved helping her grade papers and go with her to classes when I was out of school for one reason or another. I loved that she had her own friends and her own life and I loved the way teenagers would sidle up to her and say, "Hey Missus X..." when we were out somewhere. I can't imagine her sitting home all day waiting for me to get home. She still had plenty of time to cook and clean and of course as a teacher was great at homework.

I felt it was important to stay home the first two years also, at least the first year but I start sending mine to preschool when they turn three (two days a week) then at four (three days a week) and it has worked out great for my two girls, I'm looking forward to my son starting preschool next year because he is a terror.

I don't think it's so great to have small children and work a job that requires you to work 60 hour weeks and take your work home with you. Part time or flexible jobs like nursing or teaching, or set your own hour jobs like hairstylist, manicurist, massage therapy, real estate, etc. are really great for moms with young kids too.

I went to school when I was pregnant with my last two and it worked out ok because I had odd hours (something like Mon 10-3, Tues 8-11, Wed 8-11, Thurs 10-4) and my husband worked just minutes away from our home and my mom, now retired, was around and a huge help with the kids. It was manageable and I'm glad I did it. I never really had a babysitter for my kids other than the preschool starting at 3, it usually worked my husband, mom and I could juggle the childcare so that was nice.

Answer 2

My mother worked. Mon-fri and every second saturday while my brother and I were growing up. It was not easy at all. She was always busy and we never saw her. To cut a long story short by the age of 15 I was so starved for attention I ran away from home and developed a really nasty drug habit. I lived on the streets til 19 and even though I was the one who made those choices my mother and I both agree that if she hadn't of been so career focused things would have been a lot different. I now have a 5 year old sister and mum no longer works. She learnt from the last experience and although she does get bored a lot she will be going back to casual(not full time) work once my sister is in school. My mum and I are now best mates and I don't take drugs at all. You will be fine as long as you still keep giving the kids attention and not sticking them in a room in front of a tv for the time you do see them... Hope this helps! xx

Answer 3

My mom worked when I was a child.
She worked 2 jobs as a matter of fact.

As a child, I felt jipped, I had to stay at home and take care of my 2 younger brothers while she went out and worked,
my entire childhood was spent on careing for 2 boys and a house.
Yeah, thre were times food was low, and the lights got shut off,
She worked for a cable company during the day, and went to school at night.
Didn't leave much time for the 3 of us.

As an adult, I realize she did the best she could, she was an excellent role model.
She showed us that if we wanted food, and a place to sleep at night and lights, she had to work.
She taught us the value of a dollar by doing the same thing she did, we had to earn what we wanted.
Now she is an X-ray tech at the hospital, she owns a small 15 acre ranch, complete with 2 horses,12 chickens, 5 geese,2 pigs,3 dogs and 6 cats, and she has 2 cars,

You know, at first, the kids may resent it, but, just explain to them, you have to have food, electricity, and a roof over your heads, and that stuff is not free.

Answer 4

My mom worked, I didn't really feel anything about it. It was just the way things were. I do think now as an adult that it helped to make me more independent and gave me a good work ethic. She is a nurse, she worked in a nursing home for a few years and I used to get to go to work with her once in a while. I would visit with the residents and do puzzles with them and stuff, I ended up being rather close to a few of them.
I myself have done both, I love my kids, but we seem to appreciate each other and spend more time together when I am working. I am just getting ready to start back to school for nursing myself after being a stay at home mom for the past two years.
Good luck.

Answer 5

My mom was a stay at home mom. It was wonderful. But lets face it... unless your husband is very successful, most families require two incomes. And in the case of single mom's, it is sooo much of a struggle. I was a stay at home mom until my kids were 4 & 5. At that point, I got divorced. I think if kids start out in daycare from infancy it is different. My kids had a hard time with that. I really went through some tough times. I had some behavioral problems at first, but they adapted. I just made sure that when I was with them, it was quality time. Today my kids are 18 & 19 and have very healthy attitudes about life and situations life can bring to us. Daycare is not necessarily a bad thing. It introduces our kids to a large variety of culture, and different situations. Even though we were poor, and didn't (still don't) have many luxuries... my kids have friends who have had it much worse.. abuse, neglect etc.. but at the same time have friends who have parents who buy them cars, and everything they want... they have seen the best and the worse family scenerios, and I think it has made them appreciate their own life, and it will be an asset to them as they get older.

Answer 6

Well if it is a financial necessities, then you have to regardless, much like my mother. My parents were divorced and she went to school full time to become a registered nurse. Once she became that she was working all the time. As young kids, it was hard. We took on bigger responsibilities than other kids our age, especially me being the oldest. At the time I hated it! I felt like I didn't have a life, or at least my own, and she wasn't around lots. We had nannies and baby sitters and me. On the positive side, if she didn't work like that, when we were 16 we wouldn't have gotten vehicles (that we had to work for), or have been put through college. I also think it helped us to learn first hand, that nothing in life is going to be handed to you, everything has to be worked for and to not count on a man to provide for your family. Relationships change, and then you could be on your own with kids. She also gave my sister and I a strong female role model! It was hard sometimes, but was the best for us in the long run. You play with the cards life deals you and make the best possible hand.

Answer 7

I did it all ways - did not work for a while, worked opposite my husband, worked part time, every way you can think of. The kids all came out fine, it was harder on me than them I'm sure. Weigh out the aspects of paying child care vs what you will earn. It often doesn't make it worth while. You doing child care in the home is an option. There is no one better than mom for the kids - but in this day and age it is almost impossible to do.
I figured out a lot of ways to cut down on the grocery costs and entertainment costs when I wasn't working. Pet stores are almost as good as the zoo for the younger ones. Anyway, I know it's a hard decision, but financial needs can be a real burden on the family and make everything difficult. Good luck. Just remember that it is quality not quanity.

Answer 8

Hey ! My mother worked when I was growing up. Six days a week. She never missed a day. I don't think that bother me at all. You kind of used to arraignment.
When your kids become an adult, they will understand the situation and greatly respect you for what you done for them. At least I feel that way with my mother. Just make sure you spend quality time with them when you have time. There are many moms out there working. you are not in unique situation. Don't feel guilty about it.

Answer 9

It's your decision. If you plan daycare well and stick with a good daycare provider your kids should be just fine. If your youngest child is three months, though, then that child should certainly not be in care full-time. The other kids can cope with full time care, probably, but not the three month old. She should only be in part-time care.

My mother did not always work. I actually think I might have had a better life if she did. She stayed at home for me but I can't believe it was the best choice.

Answer 10

My mother did both. She worked full and overtime until I was about eight years old. She then worked part-time usually while we were at school during the day. The times she was not at home with us did not really have an affect on me. Sure I appreciated her being home but I was also proud of my mother and her job. Not to mention the income she made allowed us more luxuries and family trips etc. Children are adaptable. It will be much harder on you to leave your 3 month old baby than it will be for him/her. The older two may take it a little rougher but in the end will be fine.