porn - i found porn on my father's laptop. (i'm 17) what should i do?

Question

i don't want to devastate my mother. my parents aren't exactly "happy together". i come from a working class, religious family. i'm not sure what to do. should i confront my father? should i tell my mother? please respond with your suggestions what to do. and please, answer seriously with thought. this is a delicate situation for me. thank you in advance.

btw, i wasn't snooping as some people assume. he let me borrow it.

also, i'm a guy

Answer 1

I think porn is a pretty regular way of venting some much needed sexual frustration fro most adult males. I understand that your family is religious, but your dad is also a red-blooded male, who from the sounds of it, isn't exactly 'satisfied' 100% in his marriage. Please don't say anything, you'll only embarrass him ,and in feeling vulnerable will most probably cause him to vent out his frustration on you. And PLEASE don't tell your mum, she would probably prefer not to know. Sometimes it's nice to see the 'human' side of our parents, and to realize that they have weaknesses too can sometimes make us a little easier on ourselves. Don't worry, and if you can, look at it a bit more light-heartedly - in years to come I'm sure you'll be able to joke about it with your dad!!

Answer 2

Well first off I would say don't invade your dads privacy... he is a grown man and as long as what he is doing is not sick, twisted and illegal if he wants to check out other women that is his perrogative. Just because it was there doesn't mean there is a whole huge thing going on and so on. Maybe they are checking it out together in an attempt to bring the spark back. Maybe they are just trying to stick it out till the kids are grown up because they got married for the wrong reasons... Life can get complicated really fast and seeing things from the outside of the situation, especially as a kid can very seldom give you a clear and realistic idea of what is really going on. My advice would be to get them together and have a discussion about how things are going, to be open, candid and honest with them about how they are coming across as a couple, and parents. leave the porn out of it.... it is an effect most likely and not the problem.

Answer 3

You shouldn't DO anything. Realize, most men look at porn, and it has absolutely nothing to do with how much they love their wife and family. It's just a fantasy thing. The only reason you should let anyone know saw it is if it involved kids or something really, really wrong. Chances are your mom already knows, anyhow.

Answer 4

News Flash to young girls everywhere: All men, including fathers, look at porn from time to time. It's no big deal. It doesn't mean he doesn't love your mom, doesn't mean he's cheating, and doesn't mean they're getting divorced. It just means he's a guy.

You don't have to worry about it, or do anything about it. Just deal with the fact that you've discovered your dad is a sexual being. Because everyone is, and that's OK. It doesn't reflect poorly on you or your mom. It's up to him to decide if that's what he wants to do in his spare time.

Answer 5

I really think you should just ignore the whole thing. It is not your concern, you don't need to think about it or worry about it.

If you parents have issues in their marriage, that is their area of responsibility not yours. Don't worry. Almost everyone in the world has discovered that their father owns porn.

Just try not to think about it, and don't think of your father differently because of it. He is still the same man he was before you found it. If he was a good father before, he is still a good father now. Adults have their own problems. Don't let it worry you.

Answer 6

At the middle age it is very common to get help from porn to light ones sexual desire. And in many cases their female partners also know it. So, any discussion may bring embarrassment to your parents. Keep out of your fathers laptop.

Answer 7

Don't say anything to your father, that'd just be gross to have to do. But I would definitely tell my mother. I did as a matter of fact. It's not like it ended their marriage, but I do believe it bettered their relationship (dad learning some respect!!). I wouldn't want a man doing that to me when I'm married. That's what I'm there for!! Just ask and.... Anyway, I would want to know as a woman now if my husband was getting off without me. I figure if he's got that much energy, why isn't it coming in my direction?? Mention it to her, gently. Don't get into details with it, but tell her what you saw, plain and simple.

Answer 8

You don't need to do anything - it is your father's laptop and he is an adult. You might mention to him that you saw it and that if you could see it, your mother might as well, but you have no right to confront him as long as it wasn't anything really perverted, like child porn or bestiality.

Think how this might affect your parent's relationship if you raised it to your mother's attention... is this going to help or hurt?

Answer 9

I'd stay quiet about it. Most grown men have a porn collection, even if they adore their wives. It is creepy to find out about your dad's porn collection, but it's probably best to keep it inside, as not to upset your mother or alienate your father with the knowledge that you have seen his porn.

Answer 10

No, don't tell your mom. It will only cause turmoil. Just pretend like you never saw it. You can confront your dad if you want to. But do it when your mom isn't around. Or you can leave well enough alone and understand that if your parents aren't getting along, your dad needs something for "release". Pray for him. And then pray that your mom never finds out.