Is it undermining for a step mother to talk to a young girl about sex without asking or considering the?

Question

mothers feelings and beliefs about the subject? Or would it have been more appropriate for the step mother to at least consult with the mother before having this discussion with the step child? The step mother claims that the mother was going to wait too long to talk to the child, and by then the child could end up pregnant. The father is "not getting involved in this- you two will have to work ir out" meaning the mom and step mom. The child is an 11 y.o. girl. Am I wrong to be upset about this?

Step mom continually over steps boundaries, seemingly to irritate the mom or appear "cool" she is about 12 years younger than the mom.

Child lives with mom, no menstrual cycle yet. Step mom eager to piss mom off.

Answer 1

i believe the step mom should talk to the mother first. the real parents are responsible for raising their child how they want and may want to limit what the child is told till a certain age..imo it is up the the parents to decide. I myself am a child of a divorced parents and i would be upset if my stepmom was the first to talk to me about it.

Answer 2

Tell it to the mom. Since the child lives with the mother, she do not have any right at all to interfere with the mother daughter affair. She has already done that by taking the father and the husband. What else would she ask for to continually piss off the mom. She must be trully insecure, in spite of the fact that she now lives with the husband.

Tell her she is a greedy slut. Tryin to teach a child sex when it is not her business.

Answer 3

I think that she the step mom should have talked with the mom first. but girls do start at an early age. some girls do wait until; the teenagers. the child do not live with the mom ? If this is the case then maybe the step mom just didn't want the real mom to make the fact know to the child, that she is the one raising her. I would have gotten anger myself if I had been with my child and a step mom told her first. I think you have a point!

Answer 4

If the mother hasn't done it by eleven (and with a close friend who started getting her periods at nine I can safely say that 11 is too late), then the step mother has every right to speak with the girl. She was doing it in the interest of the girl's health and well-being, and if the mother can't understand and accept that then she is just being petty.

Answer 5

I do not think it is appropriate for the step-mother to decide when is the right time to talk to the girl about sex. It is the parents decision. I would be extremely upset if my childrens step-mother took it upon herself to make a serious choice that like without consulting me to find out my feelings. There are things a mother knows that a step-parent does not about their child.

Answer 6

It sort of depends on how the subject came up. If the stepmom approached the kid and had the discussion, I would probably be pretty upset since that seems conniving. However, if the subject came u through natural discussion or even a direct question from the girl, it is fair for the stepmom to answer. It is still important to express your views to your child and make your beliefs known. What's done is done, though -- you can't change that it happened, but you can change how you react to it.

Answer 7

I don't think you're wrong. It's not the step-mother's perogative, especially if the girl's mother feels it is too early for "the talk." Although 11 years old is getting very close to the time girls start getting their periods, so it would be good to talk soon. Nonetheless that is the job of the parents. It's unfortunate that the dad here is not getting involved. He needs to be. Girls who have strong and healthy relationships with their dads are less likely to be promiscuous.

Answer 8

The step mum should have asked the mother first before taking any steps to speak to the child, after all it is not her child and not her right to do so, and the husband is a wimp for his inaction. When the child is ready for the 'talk' they will let you know, how, by asking of course

Answer 9

11 years old is a bit old to talk about sex, i would have started a bit younger....but I think the biological mom should have taken the initiative to do this.....but i can see where both are coming from.

you have the right to be upset, and if you are then sit your daughter down and tell her what you think she needs to know
then have a talk with the step mom and lay out some boundries.

good luck!

Answer 10

I would talk to the mother and see how she feels about it. It should also depend on the girl and if she has started he menstrual cycle. If she hasn't then I'd wait. Just because it is the mothers place to talk to her daughter about sex.