Whenever I go to visit my family my step mother constantly has comments about the way I dress, talk, act, etc. She has always been like this but my bf and I are getting tired of the constant snipes about our relationship. Please help! I've tried talking to her!!!! What do I do???
2006-08-19 16:53:37 · 21 answers · asked by Nicky 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Anytime she puts you down, be creative with your responses. Say for instance she doesn't like what you are wearing and comments on it. Simply tell her that although you know she doesn't approve, you aren't willing to subject yourself to retirement clothes. If she doesn't like the way you talk, explain to her that although you know proper english, you've been dealing with normal people and this is how they speak now a days. If she rags on your relationship, tell her you have to put up with some things because you don't plan on ever subjecting your future children to the pain of a blended family. You'll have to come up with something for just about every topic imagineable...but eventually she'll get tired of being humiliated and learn to keep her mouth shut. Oh, and by the way...she's only doing it because you are letting her....time to let her know you've grown up and can stand up for yourself. I know this may sound childish, but I had a mother-in-law who was the same way and this worked wonders. She now considers me the "good" one. Good luck honey!
2006-08-19 17:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mine use to be like that too. Sometimes if it was bad enough, I would talk to my Dad and he would talk to her.
Once it got so bad, that I didn't call or even go around them for about 6 months. Then I realized that I was only hurting myself, and she was probably happy about it. I wanted to see my Dad and I decided that I would never give up my Dad for her or anyone else. So, when I went back around, I visited my Dad, and as long as I was in their house, I was respectful. I was very happy that I had my own home to go to, and didn't have to live under their roof, and I didn't let the things she had to say, effect me either way. I guess she realized, that I wasn't going to be run off, and she began to back off some, and eventually not as verbally critical.
2006-08-19 17:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by kayboff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't be too terriably nasty, but if you ever get her cornered, really let loose your thoughts of the matter to her. Your relationship with her, the comments she makes, how you feel in the house, how you have the right to visit your dad and family in a comfertable setting. YOU were there first, not her, and she needs to realize that.
Or talk to your Dad about it if you can.--And if he doesn't listen, explain your feeling to him on the stuff you'd talk to your step mom about (the stuff i listed above).
It also depends on how old you and your step mom are--as far as what you can get by saying to her, and not getting punished...
good luck...
2006-08-19 17:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by N/A 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is easy. Go to your school principle or a very cool teacher and tell them that she is being verbally abusive and putting you down. Let them know that it is effecting your studies and don't know what to do. The school will take care of the rest. Your step mom is a bully and bullies always back off when they are confronted.
2006-08-19 17:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by jim w 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
makes the same little snipes at her
make sure they're really catty, but subtle and witty enough so that you arent seen to be being rude. (facial expressions and sarcasm go a long way!)
thats what I do to my mother - it seems to have shut her up
2006-08-19 16:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has issues with you but is too much of a coward to speak with you adult to adult. Beat her at her own game, next time be the adult and say 'are you this critical of everyone? or is it just me you do it too? Id much rather we sat down and sorted this out once and for all than put up with years of your repressed feelings about me"
2006-08-19 18:34:28 · answer #6 · answered by livachic2005 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've tried talking to her about it and that hasnt worked, I'd say you approached it maturely but clearly she isnt willing to be a mature adult on this one. I'd say just start ignoring her. Maybe if she sees that it doesnt get to you any more, she might shut up.
2006-08-19 16:59:30 · answer #7 · answered by shortee807 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your father about it? Maybe he can talk to her.Maybe you should not go visit as often if all it does is make you feel bad. I hope things get better for you.
2006-08-19 17:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by gee-geeofmo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your father. If he can't or won't tell his wife to respect you quit going over. He will get the message that you have had enough of his wife's attitude.
2006-08-19 17:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by older woman 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself and give it time. I hope that you don't treat her like a dog and put your mom on a pedestal. She most likely is trying and it is not easy. Maybe she really cares about you!!!!
2006-08-19 17:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋