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For those who have done it, would you do it again? Or would you just get married?I'm curious about the true number of people that live together out of wedlock. I can't. I don't mean to sound judgmental, (please forgive me if I do) but just old fashioned and "believe" it's not the way God intended. I mean, why not just get married? You'd have more legal rights then. It seems to make more sense.

I met a guy who's living with with a woman and her kids. All of his are grown and self supporting. He's miserable. I don't pity him because he makes more than enough money to have his own place, and then have money to spare. Even though he says he's not married, he's still committed to her. I told him no way because that just spells trouble and heartbreak for me later.

I'm just curious about the shacking. I know everyone doesn't have the same religious beliefs. Pushing that aside, help me understand what sense it makes. Most couples I've seen who do it break up.

2006-08-19 16:34:10 · 10 answers · asked by Mike's Girl 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

10 answers

My wife and I lived together for about 8 months before we got married. That was five and a half years ago. We now have our first child at 12 months of age.

2006-08-19 16:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0 0

My finance and I are in the process of buying a home together, he and I will be moving in (along with my son) within the next month. I understand your beliefs ( b/c I believe in God also) but I think that it depends on the two people involved and the type of relationship they have. I don't think that you should get involved with that gentleman b/c obviously he is there for more then the "home cooking", if he were really that "miserable" then he would have left a long time ago. As a women believe me I have heard it all and I can tell you some men will tell you what they "think" you want to hear to get where they want to be. Don't get me wrong women do the same thing, but in this case we are discussing men. The question should not really be about whom is shacking up with whom; the real question should be if he is so "miserable" why hasn't he left?

2006-08-19 23:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Hot Chocolate 3 · 0 0

well, I am living with a guy, we have two kids, and were both married before. We say that we are married, but have never got the papers yet. I don't see what difference a piece of paper makes to say that you are or are not married. We love each other, why go through the trouble and then in the long run if it don't last, it wont cost me another 6000 for a lawyer to tell me that the piece of paper is not any good any more anyway... Just to much hassle

2006-08-19 23:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0 0

You've got it backwards. Men, especially, need to resist allowing the girlfriend to move in for EXACTLY the reason you described. When the significant other starts their inevitable decline into taking you for granted and basically not behaving well, you simply dump them. Dumping someone is hard when they are living with you and nearly impossible if you are married. But, if you live in your own place it is as simple as calling them up on the phone and telling them they aren't allowed around anymore....then hanging up on them.

The problem here is that too many people, but especially women, are simply bad marriage partners. Nothing wrong with them as temporary sexual partners, but they just don't have any respect for others in their hearts and need to be kept on a VERY tight leash. And that is, at best, a temporary solution. They simply cannot keep themselves from devolving and need to be gotten rid of, eventually.

A man, especially a high quality man, needs to go through many women, maybe as many as a dozen or even two dozen, in his life time, just to ferret out the one that isn't such a loser that a long term relationship is a disaster waiting to happen. Women don't have this problem. If a man is scum, he looks and acts the part. For a woman, not so. It takes significant time with her and getting to know her over months in order to discover her for what she is.

2006-08-19 23:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I lived with my husband not only once but twice. Yes stupid me!!! We went through our breakups and makeups more times than I can count. It wasn't until we got married that things really became right for us. I was raised in church and it did bother me for us to be living together and that was the reason that I made the decision to move on with my life without him. Once he realized that I was really serious and all of his old games of getting me back were not working he popped the question. I can now be with my husband without having to repent all the time!!! :o)

2006-08-19 23:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by whatIthink 2 · 0 0

i did it and will never do it again. the guy was living with me and basically was getting over. then me and a guy got a place together once and he tried to be my father. so i was miserable and ended up having to start a new life each time. so i have learned this is wrong and never works out.

2006-08-19 23:40:58 · answer #6 · answered by eaglestraces123 4 · 0 0

My sister did, got married and divorced. I never did, got married and have been 25 years.

2006-08-19 23:43:32 · answer #7 · answered by shepherd 5 · 0 0

I've never done it, and from a legal aspect of it, its just not a good idea.

2006-08-19 23:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by rrticulate1 3 · 0 0

it is the way of life of the persons involved only. no generalisation needed in this regard.

2006-08-19 23:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by prince47 7 · 0 0

yes

2006-08-19 23:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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