My husband and I have saved enough money and are thinking about Gestational surrogacy to have our own biological child. We need to do every medical procedure in California as it's ilegal in Washington state.
Or we could just adopt a baby and love it as much as it would be our own.
I would love to have a girl, BUT as you know if someone else carries it for us, we may get a boy. Don't get me wrong I love boys too :)
what would YOU do???
Would you adopt and get a baby girl because you want a girl OR would you want your own biological child??
2006-08-19 16:30:59 · 14 answers · asked by Tilly123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
when you get that baby you want you'll be so happy it won't matter if it is adopted, you had it, if it is a boy, or a girl. you should be thankful to have a baby. and love it no matter what
2006-08-19 16:51:43 · answer #1 · answered by annmarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always wanted a girl and my husband and I got two boys. I really love them and am very happy with them (I would still like a girl though). Either option presents both benefits and drawbacks. Gender-selection is the least of your worries. Both options involve potential legal issues and may be drawn out processes. You and your husband should talk about the time, money, psychological and legal issues involved with each option and decide what you think should be the way to go in the absence of the gender issue. There are a lot of children awaiting parents in foster homes and orphanages, there is also something about seeing your face on your little one. Either option will give you more joy than you can imagine. The medical procedures are illegal in Washington so make sure you don't have anyone wanting to throw a wrench in the works (family members with issues, neighbors who need a life, etc.) and before you adopt make sure you read ALL the paperwork carefully (I would hire a lawyer) before you sign anything and certainly before you give anyone money or take any child into your home.
I know I didn't say what I would do, the truth is, I don't know. I am not and will never be faced with that issue (I'm sorry you can't conceive naturally) so I cannot tell you what I would do. The only thing I can say is that you have to consider not just what you want to do but you want to answer for to your child. You will have to explain to a child why another woman carried him/her or why she was put up for adoption and why you chose her. I would suggest rehearsing each discussion and let that help guide you.
May your heart know the joys of parenting sooner rather than later, best of luck
2006-08-19 17:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I wanted a child bad enough, I would take any child I could get. Makes no difference if it's a boy or girl, biological or adopted. Also, it would not have to be a baby. I easily could adjust to a child through the age of five. And, if the money is set aside I'd much rather put it into an account for a college fund . But to me, it sounds as if your mind is made up to have the Gestational Surrogacy so I will wish you Good Luck!
2006-08-19 17:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by HolidayGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have a blended family. My husband and his ex couldn't have children, so they chose to adopt. I had children biologically of my own with my ex. Years ago, I had also placed a child with an adoptive family. Together, my husband and I have a biological child. It's amazing the amount of love that any parent, whether adoptive or biological can have for these children. Whatever you choose to do, please listen to your heart. With both options comes the chance of success and heartache. I am a little leary of surrogacy, because there have been a lot of cases that have been too heartwrenching on the families involved. If you want to insure having a girl, you're best chance would be to adopt. However...from my own experience, I had always wanted boys and ended up having girls - to my own surprise, I can say now, that I can't imagine my life without them. :) There are also so many precious children out there who need someone to love them. Please do your research, before deciding...don't walk in with unreal unexpectations. Good luck and God Bless you both!!
2006-08-19 17:09:19 · answer #4 · answered by bnsheerose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You talk of this as if you are attempting to buy a new car and would prefer red over blue. Obviously you are contemplating Gestational surrogacy because you two are unable for some reason to bear your own children. Yet...All you can think about is wanting a girl? That was a very superficial question. To answer your question.....I wouldn't have such a dilemma in my mind. I would be happy with any child the lord blesses me with.
2006-08-19 16:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by redgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be nice to have your own biological child but if you can't then offer your love to a child who is not fortunate to have parents. To me, it would make no difference whether it's a boy or girl. I have the same amount of love to give a girl as I do a boy. Children are a blessing and you should keep all options open.
2006-08-19 16:40:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no comparing a mother and a biological baby.. no matter what the sex. My friend wanted a girl... but said she never thought that again after since seeing his little face. I just had a baby, and there is nothing like it... knowing they are a part of you. I think you should have your own if possible.
2006-08-19 16:42:29 · answer #7 · answered by dancer_gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would want my own biological child...I'm not married yet so I really hadn't thought about adoption much
2006-08-19 16:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with Annie R. I personally would adopt. I think the law says that the woman that carried "your" bio child would be allowed to keep it if she changed her mind last minute.
2006-08-19 16:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Lib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want a girl too, but I'd be more happy having my own biological child, even if its a boy. =)
2006-08-19 16:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by C 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋