My 18 yr old cousin passed away early this morning VERY suddenly in his sleep, no one knew that he was sick...

Question

His parents and our whole family is totally devastated... I don't know as to what would be appropriate of me to do, send food to the house, send flowers to the house, give them money to help with funeral related expenses or just send flowers to the funeral home... any suggestions??? The rest of my family are sending money...

Since the autopsy report isn't finalized, but speculation has it that he died of alcohol poisoning... God love him...

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear about your family's loss. I think any of these would be very nice gestures, though I think sending food or prepared meals for the family would probably be most helpful. A coworker of mine also once said that she appreciated other things, such as daily necessities (such as toilet paper...I know this sounds crazy...but with all the company in the house, you go through a lot! The last thing you want to do is have to run out for TP in the middle of everything). Just a care package with some of the necessities, maybe some home baked cookies and casseroles. Gift certificates for different meal deliveries. Depending on the family's financial circumstances, money is always a safe bet...they can use it on whatever they need. I've always though that offering assistance in cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, etc. would be a helpful gift as well. If you have many pictures of your cousin, putting together a movie/slide-show with music for the family may also be an idea.

So sorry, again, for your family's loss. Some are taken too young. :( Lord Bless...

Answer 2

If you were close to your cousin possibly you could request to speak at the funeral. You could tell of good things the two of you did together, a favorite song, a funny something that happened, possibly of any dreams your cousin had that the parents did not know of, and how you will miss them. You may also want to get someone to tape record the funeral service so they can listen to it at a later date when they need to know what was said. It is probably more important to stop and visit them often after the funeral. You may also put together a scrapbook of pictures of your cousin at family gatherings, or anything you can find-pictures from yearbooks, etc- to have at the funeral home so other people can look at it and then present it to them after the funeral. My sincere and heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. How terribly sad to lose someone so young!

Answer 3

Wow, that is very sad, my condolences to you and your family. I think sending food is good, not only will they not have time to cook or want to but they will have many visitors stop by. I know myself I thought it was so thoughtful when my neighbours brought food over when my mom died. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have ate anything at all. Also sending flowers or making a donation in memory of your cousin is very thoughtful. I can also say, with my mom it was unexpected as well, so all the money that people gave me really helped out alot. No matter what, showing your respect, sending flowers or money, making food or helping out around the house for them, or just listening and showing support in their very hard time, all will be appreciated and I'm sure will not go unnoticed. Each gesture meant so much to me and I'm sure it will for them too.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for you and your family... it is always so hard to have a loved one pass away so young. Food is always a good thing to send... anything that can be reheated in the oven or microwave is helpful (like a lasagna). Something like food is often the last thing on grieving people's minds, but always something they need. If they need money for funeral expenses, that would also be appropriate and helpful. You can also offer to do things like watching any younger siblings your cousin may have had so that his parents can do things like make arrangements and go to the medical examiner's that wouldn't be appropriate for little ones to go to. God bless in your time of trial.

Answer 5

Flowers with a sympathy card.
And money is a nice thought.

I mean at 18 his parents more than likely didn't have health insurance on him.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Flowers sent to the home and to the Funeral hom on the day of his funeral.
For all the funerals I've been too I've always hand picked a big arrangement and delivered it myself to the funeral home.

Answer 6

you can do the typical sending money and food, but maybe hang around there and pick up after people, help them around the house. Sometimes the little things are what matters. Their minds are not on keeping things clean or get things done, but a little helping hand can go a long way.

Answer 7

Ask what they need help with, that will mean more to the family then just sending them something. See if there is anything you can do. They will appreciate it a lot more. Let them know you are there for them if needed and lend a supportive ear.

Answer 8

It depends on how close you were... try to think of something special that happened between the two of you..like an inside joke.. stuff like that always means so much. If you cannot remember anything you could do, you could always take extra care to chat with a member of the family.

Answer 9

give them the money, even if some have if he had no insurance the family can always use that. 18 so young so little time I'm so sorry may god be with all of you!

Answer 10

Take food to the house..people don't want to cook when they are grieving. Also just let them know you are there for them and ask if there are any errands or things that need to be done.