Christians, do you have any funny jokes?

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Yep, the first answerer has us pegged, we just sit grim faced and angry all the time. Actually, I have had more laughs and fun as a believer than I ever did as an unbeliever. A joke? Well, this is one best told than written, but I will give it a shot:

A man was walking down a street and came upon a man and dog sitting on the sidewalk with a sign saying "talking dog for sale". The man was inquisitive about this and asked "Does he really talk?". The man with the dog nodded towards the dog.
"Actually sir, I do talk," the dog began, "and I have had quite the prolific life. I was in World War 2 as a puppy and was at Pearl Harbor, I saved several men from the fires. I was also in Europe, and saved several men from the guns of the Nazis. I also served in the Korean and Viet Nam war. I was highly decorated, met 5 presidents, the Prime Minister and Queen of England."

"WOW" the man exclaimed. "Why would you want to sell this dog??"



"BECAUSE HE'S A BIG, FAT :LIAR!"

Answer 3

LUTHERAN AIRLINES, INC.

If you are traveling soon, consider Lutheran Air, the no-frills airline. You're all in the same boat on Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting experience. There is no First Class on any Lutheran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls, 7-15 bring a salad, 16-21 a main dish, and 22-30 a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in the rear of the aircraft.

Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by freewill offering and the plane will not land until the budget is met. Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you with the safety system aboard this Lutheran Air 599. Okay then, listen up: I'm only gonna say this once. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so will Captain Olson because we fly right around 2000 feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably
indicate the Second Coming or something of that nature, and I wouldn't bother with those little masks on the rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger things to worry about than that. Just stuff those back up in their little holes.

Probably the masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest with you, we're going to have quite a bit of at 2000 feet... sort of like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.

In the event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying the Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to the part about forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us," which isn't right, but what can you do?

The use of cell phones on the plane is strictly forbidden, not because they may interfere with the plane's navigational system, which is seat of the pants all the way... no, it's because cell phones are a pain in the wazoo and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mouth on the side of your head. We're going to start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with the coffee pot up front. Then we'll have the hymn sing... hymnals in the seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours with you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kidding!

Right now I'll say Grace... "Come Lord Jesus be our guest and let these gifts to us be blest. Father, Son and Holy Ghost, may we land in Duluth or pretty close. Amen."

Answer 4

Not christian but here you go... A good, clean living Pagan died and went to Heaven. St Peter met him at the door. "You can't come in here," Peter said.The Pagan asked why."You're Pagan... sorry. But Hell isn't so bad. Your friends are there, and they say it's cool."The Pagan is depressed but goes anyway, because he was, well, Pagan.So he goes to Hell and is greeted by a beautiful green field with people picnicking and having a great time. A man in a white comes over to him and presents himself as Satan, and the Devil tells him of all the delights in what appears to be a 5 star resort."Wow!" thinks the Pagan. "Hell ain't so bad! I'm happy to be here."Suddenly, the sky gets black and fire spews from the ground. A screaming, flaming man falls from the sky and is swallowed by a crack in the earth. After he disappears, everything returns to normal."What the heck was that?!" the Pagan asks Satan.Satan replies, "That was a Christian. They wouldn't have Hell any other way."

Answer 5

Once there was a City Slicker, who happened to be a liberal, that was ridding his girl friend around in his model T. Boy this joke is old. The City Slicker saw a farmer plowing a mule. The City Slicker, being a liberal and knowing that all farmers were dumb, gets out of the Model T and tells his girl to watch this. The City Slicker walks up to the farmer and pulls out a 38 pistol. He asks the Farmer if he has ever danced before and the Farmer replies "no." The city slicker fires his pistol and the farmer jumps until the gun snaps, empty. The Farmer rubs his beard and pulls a long barrel 44 out of his jumper pocket. Calmly he asks the City Slicker, "have you ever kissed the rear end of a mule before?" "No" the City Slicker replied, "but I always wanted to."

Answer 6

Go to jibjab.com and link onto stragathor in the jokebox section. I have a million of 'em (they won't let me put them all on the site). Some people think my jokes may not be appropriate for all Christians, but I believe God has a terrific sense of humor...Just look at hippopotami.

Answer 7

Buddhist joke:

What did Buddha say to the hotdog vendor?

Make me One with Everything.


Christian Joke:

The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere:
flood, fire, disease. St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven
for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very
basic questions. Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too
tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".


So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name,
occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that
important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what
did you do for a living, how did you gain your livlihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well" he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact,
looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a
carpenter"
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next
step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to
remember. After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child
and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child
was a boy. And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because
he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the
ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt
of lightning. With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"

Answer 8

Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson were having a boardroom meeting. Falwell's secretary comes in the room and announces that God is on the phone and wants to talk to them on the speaker.

They put Him on and He tells them "Well boys I have some good news and some bad news."

"Give us some good news" They both respond.

"I have decided that the whole world will be under one religion."

"This is wonderful. We have been praying for this. What is the bad news?"

"I'm calling you from Salt Lake City."

Answer 9

act like ur eating something on ur hand with ur palm open, when people ask you waht u are doing say u are jesus biting his nails

Im not christian though

Answer 10

no christians don't believe in jokes, humor, laughing, or fun

and you're going to hell forever just for asking this question little girl, enjoy being azz raped by satan