is it fair that some people are born into caring loving families and i ended up with an unstable, redneck drunk stepdad and mom that drinks when she visits her grandson baby? is that normal? should i disown her as a mom if she looks at me like im disgusting, never encourages me and lets her husband talk dirty and mlest me when i was younger? sometimes i think she loves me and is the only one i have so its hard to let her go but i feel like i should cuz its damaging me.. help.
2006-08-19 15:44:48 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
forgive but dont forget, shes your mom, she gave birth to you so, no matter what you do shes still your mom, and no, no family is perfect, the flaws in family is what makes a family, you just have to accept people, i guess you could just start throwing out the bear when there not looking but you would probley get in trouble,
my dad use to drink, and he would never hurt us, or do anything bad to us, but once he came in our house drunk and almost knocked me and my sis. out of my cousins hands, and she told him that if he came back that night then he would be in big trouble, lol, but he left for good, like a year after that, and now my moms remarried....
so if you want to talk to me you can email me at acharm101@aol.com
2006-08-19 16:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Leesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't let anyone into your life that causes you pain for no reason and hurts you. When this is a parent, it makes things all the more difficult. You don't deserve the verbal abuse, and you don't deserve to be treated like this. If you tell her that her behavior is so bad that you're going to cut off contact with her until you can be sure that your time with her no longer hurts you, she might think twice about how she behaves and what she allows.
If you want to try to work things out, find a counselor or family psychiatrist, talk to them, and then propose to her a therapy session where you two can work out your issues. Abuse is abuse, and if you don't do something about this situation, it will just continue to be a problem for you.
I wish you the best of luck with your family. With a disgusting, alcoholic uncle who actually lives in the same house as I do, I know how you feel.
2006-08-19 15:53:39 · answer #2 · answered by Meredia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is only the illusion of the perfect family. In your situation, your mental health and well being and your baby should be your #1 priority. Unfortunately, we can pick our friends but we can't pick our relatives. Your Mom and Stepdad are toxic for you. I think you need to set some boundaries with her and tell her that if she is going to behave this way, that she is not going to be able to come around and see you and your baby. As for the stepdad who molested you, that is a matter for a mental health counselor to help you with. He should not be around you. That is a traumatic thing he did to you. Try to make a life for yourself and your baby away from these toxic people. good luck
2006-08-19 15:56:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not let your mother see your son unless she is sober. Tell her because of past experiences with her husband you do not want anything what so ever to do with him. And if she can not abide by YOUR DECISIONs then to just stay away. Stand your ground... Demand better for you and your son. Do not settle for less. Walk away from all that. Make a nice family enviroment for your son. Protect him like a loving mother should. Your mother is not the only one you have, you are the only one that your son has. Sometimes life's choices are real hard.
I just have one question.
1. What kind of upbringing did your mother have?
2006-08-19 16:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by mysticideas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family you have is the family you have. You can't change relatives. That's why God gave you friends. You cannot change the past. You CAN however change the way you react to it and how you allow it to effect your present. If people cannot add to your life and well being, they do not need to be allowed in to it. If your mother wants to see you and your baby then inform her, in the nicest way possible, that she must be sober and without 'whats-his-name'. If she continues her past behavior, you must ask yourself that old question: Am I better off with or without her? Have you ever told her the EXACT things that happened to you regarding her husband? If not, do you think now might be appropriate? Only you can judge. Very Best Wishes, dear.
2006-08-19 16:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Gran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no this is not normal and uour mom should be ashamed of what she let happen to you. it is not to late for you though. yi think it would really benefit you to get some counciling to help with what they did to you and i would not let her near her grandson if she is drinking, and i would tell her why. you do not want the same thing to happy to that baby that happened to you. does she know what your stepdad did to you and if she does, i think i would tell her that you want an explanation for how she could have let it happen. there is no way i woudl let that man near me or the baby if i were you.
you don't have to let her go but you can set up boundaries and have her around on your terms.
2006-08-19 15:53:25 · answer #6 · answered by manyhartz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sheesh. you have got a plate full. if you are of age and can support yourself take off. anywhere would be better than where you are. got a friend to room with? can you support yourself? If not, start saving for YOUR life. You don't have to disown your mom to move away. you can visit anytime. If you are grown its time you made your own life anyway. I would move far enough away they couldn't just drop in on me. good luck. m
2006-08-19 15:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mache 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aw, i'm sorry you experience that way, yet no relatives is suitable. people argue, people have financial issues, people divorce, etc. you mustn't be jealous. you will possibly no longer think of you have lots, yet i'm constructive you have greater desirable than others. think of appropriate to the individuals in different international locations- like haiti- without relatives or help. in basic terms undergo in thoughts, each relatives is different. each physique has that loopy-insane distant relative that usually is going to relatives BBQ's. cherish what you have
2016-10-02 07:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by sarver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been looking for them for 32 years, have not found them yet, I was short changed in this area.
2006-08-19 15:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
actual i think there in no perfect famly in the whole entire world but for you i think you should yes i know it will hurt but thats probably what best for you
2006-08-19 16:13:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋