Okay. I have been in my relationship with my bf for a year and 2 months. We are about to start college and we both work. ( I'm about to take on a second job even) With all of this going on, we've be arguing like crazy! Every time we see each other(when we get to see each other, lol) we argue even over small things. We've planed our lives to where we know where we're gonna live after we marry and get out of college! Quetion one is : Should we even stay together? Question 2 : If so, then how can we better our relationship? Please take into mind that we do not take into practice of sex and not until marriage. I really don't want to here that sex would make it better.
2006-08-19 14:51:50 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To add on, he is the FIRST guy to come my way w/o cheating on me, making the first move( i had to ask him out, lol) and really cares about me. He has the same plans as far as sex goes and has never attempted to go farther than kissing me. In the past, my relationships have ended due to cheating (on me) and going farther than I wanted to go. I;m a Pre-med major and he's an engineering major. We are both christians, so living together is a big no-no to us.
2006-08-19 15:09:47 · update #1
I'm the one that usually starts arguements. I'm a very emotional person. Another thing is that I have a trust issue. In the past, I really could not trust (due to the cheating and lies) so he finds that's theonly problem with me. That I can't trust him. But I can't help it! I've grown to not trust.
2006-08-19 15:13:13 · update #2
all couples argue it is part of nature...maybe you should forget about the stress of everyday and take a weekend trip away...maybe that will help good luck
2006-08-19 14:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by sweetiepi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a great idea that the two of you are in a relationship where you don't sleep together but are still friends. Only you two know what the subject of argument is about so you two need to talk. I hope it is not the need for sex talk. If you two want to stay together try to remember why you chose to be together as friends and as a couple. Remind each other of this especially when you begin to start arguing. Make study dates or just time to connect with his friends and your friends all together. You don't have to spend all your free time together. THIS IS YOUR LIFE! If you want to break up don't use college as some excuse. If you agree that you need some time apart, then do so, but stil try keep communication open and positive because you two are starting new lives and dealing with the stresses of growing up. Share those experiences with each other to stay connected. You two need to understand that you are not married and that you should not put any additional pressure on each other considering that you have to focus on your schoolwork and jobs etc. This is the beginning of the rest of your life. You need to DO YOU! (Do what is right for you) and the same goes for him. I hope this helps.
2006-08-19 15:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by prettybrowneyes. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you always argue, there are one of two things that you could do.
1.) Sit down, talk about it, and figure out what could end the arguing. Maybe find the source of the stress.
2.) You could plan for times to see each other every week in an organized manner, maybe not for a "date" where you go out, but instead just stay in and have a relationship by talking and being friends. Build the relationship, because obviously it is suffering.
2006-08-19 14:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like you are both under a lot of stress, and because you have limited time together, you focus on the things you think need to be "fixed" instead of just being together. However, realize, you are going through a time of HUGE change. You are a totally different person than you were when you started the relationship. Although it would be painful, ending a high school relationship is common and almost always necessary. The fact that you are even asking us, sort of indicates to me what you have decided.
2006-08-19 14:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost: Kudos for making the decision on abstinence... It takes a stronger than me person(s) to make that kind of commitment. Be it for religious reasons or personal preference.
After everything is said and done it's still your choice to work through it or cut it off. Only advice I can give is try to take a moment and assess the situation. You need to cut the the fight to the bone, as it were. Work out what you're really fighting about. And work on that. It could be all just stress, and you and/or your BF are the closest people to take it out on. You need to decided if the fights are worth having, and if the relationship is worth saving. But again only you can decide.
Sorry I wasn't more helpful but that's all I got.
Good Luck
2006-08-19 15:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by kasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems as if you and your boyfriend have everything planned out down to an art. If you guys constantly argue over even the simplest things then It may be time sit down and do some re-evaluating, and get to the souce of your problems. Talk things out, make sure you understand each other situations figure out ways to solve your problems if it is a small problem if you don't could become one big problem just like your other ones.
2006-08-19 15:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to marry someone you argue with all the time? If you can't get along now why turn it into a long time miserable marriage? Just be careful, cause you may be married for a long long time and then he will up and get him self a young stupid thing and leave you behind when you are old. It happens. He will say this marriage is not working and then he'll dump you.
2006-08-19 15:00:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, after a year and two month, no sex and you are boht in college. You are fighting or I'm guessing he's starting the fights.
Hate to tell you this. He's f%@king someone else. Don't even think about getting married until you are over 28. You're obviously not ready for sex, how do you think you are even ready for marriage?
2006-08-19 15:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by SpankyTClown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well even though I haven't really been in a serious relationship it sound to me like there is more to you to getting into fights than what is on the surface and you should sit down and really talk about it and if that doesn't work then maybe you should take a break and see how things go.
2006-08-19 15:00:11 · answer #9 · answered by Diamond 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...May be that is what is bothering him (sex I mean), I am sorry to tell you but some men give sex a first priority and if he is not getting it from you he'll find it somewhere...now I don't know him may be he thinks the same way as you do about waiting until you get married, in that case...may be is the lack of intimacy ..(and I am not talking about sex).. you should try to make time for you as a couple, set a specific time and day for you to spend time together, other wise I think you'll grow separate from each other and ending up breaking up.
2006-08-19 15:02:12 · answer #10 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do as John Legend says and Take it Slow! This aint a movie or a fairy tale and people will have there problems. My advice for your man is No Matter what the People Say! By Anthony Hamilton. Those guys seem to have said it best so check them out! Everything works out...trust me!
2006-08-19 14:59:44 · answer #11 · answered by scottwatras 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋