How do I keep from hurting people's feelings when I'm upset and depressed?

Question

i suffer from depression and am on medication for it, but i still have a rough time, and it seems like my family is always getting the worst of me.

i dont take my anger out on them, im not violent or anything. but i know that when im low and depressed, it hurts them to see me this way.

i try to just stay out of their way, but then they worry

and i cant just 'suck it up' and act like everythings ok, ive tried, and they see right through me.

what can i say, or do, to let them know that im ok, that i just need company, even if im not much fun at the moment. often times i dont want to be alone, but i hate asking ppl to be there for me because im such a downer, im sure its no fun to be around me when im hurting, but its hard for me to be alone.

is this a no-win situation? i dont know what to do.

Answer 1

Your family is lucky to have such a caring, thoughtful person like you in it! Maybe you could tell them just what you told us. And tell them you love them. And give them a hug.

I wish you all the best as you battle your depression! You didn't ask for advice on that but I would like to say that in addition to medication, you might try meditation; it's harmless and does a lot of people a lot of good. It's so simple! 20 min/day, every day, sit in a quiet place, relax, and breathe deep and focus on keeping your mind clear. When thoughts creep in, push them out. Just keep trying to keep your mind clear. Don't be too hard on yourself; it's difficult at first. Do it every day. It will be beneficial for many aspects of your life.

Answer 2

I can relate..I've been there, still till this day I'm like that..

Usually when I have my depressing days I try to avoid any contact from people because as you said it'll just bring them down with me..

When I really need some one to talk to I go to my sis..some times my moods get the best of me & I go off on her which makes it less easier to talk to her, my sis usually can't tolerate my attitude..so there fore I have no one to talk to..

Once I had so much anger built up inside of me I punched my window & broke it into pieces..(anger management) I know..ever since that experience I have been trying to control it & to not let emotions get the best of me..

My dad told me once "There will be those who'll try to take the best of you, it's under your control to not let them" I'm not sure if that's any help..basicly what I am trying to say is well, when your depressed & your thinking everythings hopeless or you feel like a crappy person or a failure, just think "I CAN ALWAYS MAKE THINGS BETTER" That's what keeps me going those six words...

Another thing my father told me "Lifes tuff..I'm not going to lie, it's not what's wrong with your life thats so bad, it's what YOU do to resolve it"

It's all about how YOU see things, if you look at life in a negative way then of course lifes going to be bad for you..but if you look at life in a more positive way, things will get easier...

I don't have a clue who you are...but I still have a great amount of sympathy for you..It hurt's me so much when ANYONE are depressed..

I was depressed for so many years!! I know how it is, it feels like lifes a blur & you have no control over it..

You do have control though, it's YOUR life make it how you want it..don't let emotions take over you...reach above it & LIVE life...

It's so much better that way...

I wish you all the luck in the world..

Sincerly,
-Savanna

Answer 3

You need to let him know he needs to find a different way to deal with his stress and until he can show you other wise this relationship is on the rocks. Explain to him that there is no need to be little you and how it hurt you and thats not cool. Maybe if you leave him he will realize how good he had it with you and make a change for the better, but dont stay with a man that puts u down. If anything he should try to make you feel like your at the top of the world.

Answer 4

Try to remember that the feelings you're experiencing aren't their fault. That may help to prevent your lashing out at innocent bystanders. You said that you've tried to stay out of peoples' way when you're low, but they worry. This is normal in people who care about you, but perhaps you can find a way to tell them that you're feeling out of sorts and need some time for yourself.

Answer 5

how long have you been taking the medication for? if its not long, your body needs time for the chemical imbalance to right itself in your brain, if its been a while, then maybe your meds aren't right for you. Talk to your doctor, they should be able to recommend a counsellor so you can find someone impartial to talk to.
You need to be with people that are supportive and I felt the same as you - tell people how are you are feeling - be honest.
good luck - there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 6

even if i dont know how you really feel but if your very depressed think about whats bothering you discuss your problems with the people that you take out your anger on dont try to upset anyone just explain and take your time. im sure they will understand that you have been through rough times and maybe you should do things with your family more often have alittle fun too then youll be happy with life :)

Answer 7

I guess that u have a broken heart,or you an only child to ur parents if so then try to 4get it or learn to live with it.If it is not the situation then i advice you to go for meditation courses it will help you a lot.Now if you fell you are aggressive then try out some karate courese or anything these that will make you active in addition you will find new friends and company.

Answer 8

Most medication is unnatural and in my opinion should not be used when other checks and treatment is avaiable, but lazily not prescribed. then there is a lot of kick-back and underhandedness that subs for good doctoring. in most cases like yours it's mind over matter,and say to your self I'm no longer letting these hurtfull people matter to the extent to keep me angry. Troublesome people are often troubled themselves. when it goes unnoticed it fades away from their self importance.

Answer 9

Try to calm yourself down and try to not talk that much when u feel upset..listening can help a lot..especially slow music..try that,,that's reli usefull..get yourself to haf sumthing like ipod or mp3 player,and try that..that will help a lot..good luck!!

Answer 10

Try to be as open as possible. Let them know you are feeling low, make sure they know its not them that are depressing you. They should understand you need to be alone or dont want to be all chipper...Just be open, which can be hard at times