the problem is not really with him, its me, ive been flirting online with this guy for two months since ive lost my job, my bf works at night so everynight ive been cybering with this guy online, and everytime that ive been with my bf im thinkin of this guy imet online. is it just a fling? im so stupid i know LOL i need some good advice.
2006-08-19 14:11:55 · 27 answers · asked by viazzz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I personally have been in the same exact situation, i was once chatting with this guy online for 4 months and when we would fight online (yes it happened) i would get real emotional, although we had never met. One day though my husband brought me home a rose, and i felt so bad about the online "affair" that i had decided not to speak to my "fling' again. I did tell him the situation and he was very open to my decison.
I think that you are doing this because you are home alone...and the internet is an open wave of communications with others in the same situation. Consider this - how serious your relationship is with your current bf and whether or not you would want to pursue a relationship with the online guy and what if you did choose to get a relationship going with the cyber fling, what would you do if it didnt work out? Go back to your bf? Seriously i doubt he would re-enter a relationship with you.
So think about it and then if you choose to begin a relationship with your online guy break it to your current bf in an adult way. This would mean that you have a sit down conversation privately with no other people involved, that way things are settled before the break up.
Let me know if you need any more advice on this topic, i would be happy to help in any way.
Sheena
Sheenablevins@comcast.net
2006-08-19 14:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sheena B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Internet has caused many couples to split...even marriages! It's not the place to go to meet even e-pals if you are in a serious long lasting relationship...it will only cause a problem, as I see it has with you. My advise is to totally stay offline for a while, and concentrate on your relationship to see if it is what you really want. If you've convinced yourself you are no longer in love with your current boyfriend, then it could be the Internet cyber fling (as you call it), could be a pacifier for your unhappiness. You need to make a decision, and stick with it. It's good that you realize you cannot string along your boyfriend while having other interests. Honesty is the best policy in this case. Figure out your feelings, and follow your heart. Good luck!
2006-08-19 21:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by LARGE MARGE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are flirting online with other men, and thinking about them when you are with your real live in person flesh and blood boyfriend, do him the favor, be a real woman and break up with him
You are romanticizing a perfect relationship with someone you have never met, and right now, you never will. This person fills your time when you are bored (shouldn't you be online looking fo a job?)
If you dump your boyfriend and meet this online guy, you'll be in for a surprise. You will find out, like e very other human being, he has flaws. And probably many he won't fess up to online.
2006-08-19 21:18:41 · answer #3 · answered by KB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you want to break ties with your boyfriend to be with a guy you have been cybering with for two months you should talk to him about how you want to break up with him and that you have been cybering with another guy online, tell him the truth. and the reasons why you want to break up with him, let him know that is not him it is you and you just don't want to go on like you are any longer. It could be a fling wiht you and this other guy but that is how you percieve it, it could be something other that or just a friendship. Do what you feel you have to , not what you want to. Just my advice to you.
2006-08-19 21:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're obviously needing something to take up your time. I do wonder if things between you and your bf would be better if you were working and didn't have all this time to flirt n such. Nevertheless, if you are going out and seeking something else, prolly time to call things off with your bf. Say something generic...we're growing apart, if you dont want to tell him the real reason is you find someone over the computer more appealing than he is in person.
2006-08-19 21:21:11 · answer #5 · answered by Jadeba12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and think of the situation objectively, not emotionally.
Listing the pro's and cons always works for me, in just about any situation. What are good reasons for staying with your boyfriend? Why, besides this online fantasy, do you no longer want to be with him? Is this just an excuse to get our of a relationship that's no longer working for you? Or are you just bored and need to spice things up? Do you really crave more attention from your boyfriend? When you can identify what's missing in your relationship then you need to sit down with your boyfriend and be honest with him about it. It's likely that he has no idea there's anything wrong. Give him a chance to work it out and see where it goes, IF he wants to.
Bottom line though, you've got to do what's best for you. You can't stay in a relationship out of guilt about his feelings. He will move on.
2006-08-19 22:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the online thing is anything more than romanticism.
You should tell your boyfriend that you just aren't wanting to be in a relationship right now so he can move on. It is pretty obvious he doesn't mean quite enough to you. Sounds like a habit more than a bf. Do you both a favor and say bye now.
2006-08-19 21:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by mspriveye 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first thing is ask yourself... is that guy really for you... Do you know him well... a few months doenst mean you know him real well and it doesnt mean that he is the one for you.... You have to know girl...
And your bf... does he do anything to hurt your feelings... If you are not happy with him tell him, dont give him false hope...
Yes... months and years dont make any differences... its up with you on knowing and trusting the person... sometimes three years may not be the one for you... but im not telling you to break up with him... im telling you to think...
The guy you met online... maybe you had an infatuation... you think you're in love with him but actually you're not... But in the end its all up to you...
You know them better... you have to make the right choice...
2006-08-19 21:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
let the online thing go...from what i hear people misrepresent themselves alot while online cause there really is no way to find them out. hell it might not even be a guy, lol
if you are unhappy with your relationship then by all means end it but dont just leave a guy that cares for you for an online flirtation...no good can come of it in my opinion
2006-08-19 21:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by Willow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, if you are considering breaking up, then you should, bc if you really loved your bf you wouldn't even think of it. Have you met this guy in person? Be careful. Haven't you watched Primetime and 20/20? LOL! But serious!
2006-08-19 21:23:21 · answer #10 · answered by kimmypoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋