long distance relationships???

Question

ugh im so confused. are long distance relationships ok??? i live in utah and he lives in california, we're the same age... we talk on instant messaging every day for hours. i really like him a lot and he likes me but i dont know if its ok. is it ok?

Answer 1

They tend to not work. Talking through instant messager is great, it allows communication, but it doesn't give a whole picture. A lot of what you learn in a local relationship are the little non-verbal things that a person sends off. Like, maybe you are at a restaurant with a guy and he's rude to the wait-staff...that's something you only see by being in a local relationship, or what if that little noise he makes when he thinks something is funny is really annoying to you...and it happens a lot... It isn't just the bad things either...it's one thing to talk about how much you wish you could hold each other...it is a completely different thing when he pulls you in for a hug...the way he always does...but you will only get those feelings in a local relationship. You can ask him things long distance, and trust that he is telling the truth, but there is a lot more to a relationship than what can be communicated through instant messenger.

If there isn't a way to be in a local relationship with this guy, it may be best to put things on hold till one or the other of you decides that they are willing to move for the sake of the other. Until that sacrifice is made, this can only be a strong fondness, not truly a relationship.

Answer 2

I lived in the same state, but about 100 miles away. We were together for a few weeks when our seasonal job was done for the summer and I moved to another job. Talk about a test. We lived apart for 7 months and only saw eachother on weekends and some special occasions. It was so hard, but we loved eachother enough to make it work. We have been together for going on 8 years now and married 2.5. So, if you believe in the relationship and the hardships you will have to overcome, then go for it. Always remember, Everything happens for a reason! Good Luck with it.

Answer 3

Long distance relationships can and do last, for a time, but there has to BE a relationship to begin with! And there has to be committment and an intention for at sometime to reunite and form some permanancy.
Marriages survive long separations due to work locations etc. all the time, some fail because of lack of trust and committment. Love is about making decisions. One of you will have to relocate to be with the other.
My husband and I survived a relationship in separate countries for five years. We visited eachother for as long as we could as often as we could until we were able to marry. I decided to move from my country and sever all ties with culture and family and friends to relocate to marry and live here. I still commuinicate with my family and friends over seas but I had to make a choice.
I was not making a sacrifice to come here, it would have been a great sacrifice to not persue our love and life together.

Answer 4

Long distance relationships are very hard to keep-up. Even if you talk on the phone every night!!!! It's really up to you. But it's hard to get a hug or a kiss good-night from an instant message.

Answer 5

I met my husband while we were both in college - I lived in MO and he lived in NY. We dated two years long distance and six months after graduation we got married. We have been married for 7 years and it has been great.

Long distance works when you find the right person - if he is the wrong person it wouldn't work with him far away or next door. If you both truly like one another and are willing to give it a try, and you are right for each other, than there is NO REASON that it can't work.

Anyone who says that long distance can't work - never tried it with the right person!

Answer 6

Long distance relationships are perfectly fine and many people have them. You have to realize that eventually one of you is going to have to make the decision to move if you really want your relationship to work out and last. There is nothing wrong with talking to eachother for hours a day and Ca and Ut aren't super far apart. Keep talking to eachother and maybe arrange to meet and see how things go.

Answer 7

I understand how you feel right now and it gets pretty empty knowing that you just can't see him when you'd like.
I fell in love with a man who lives half a world away, although we have never met I know that there is something substantial there.
Why don't either of you make the effort to meet up? Maybe talk on the telephone? I mean you can't go through this forever so one of you need to come to an arrangement. Ask him what he wants and feel your way from there.
You need to make a decision girl and soon!

Answer 8

I had a long distance relationship once.
You guys are actually pretty close.
I'm in Florida and he was in California.
It only worked for about 4 months.
But it was pretty great.
We're still friends though and talk on instant messaging an awful lot.
Wish ya luck!
=D

Answer 9

Distance makes it harder, but if it's really meant to be then you'll find a way to make it work...just listen to that little voice in your head if it tells you somethings not right then end it.... long distance relationships can work if both people work at it..is this someone you met on line or have known for a while?

Answer 10

geez like oh no thats like so far away! BLAH! anyways yes if you really want it to work and you 2 love each other then yes of course.I met my future husband on here we have been together for like 6 months and never met he lives in PA and i live in Canada thats like 5000miles away we also talk every day for hours well when hes home from work all day and sometimes night get some headsets so it cuts down on the phone bill and also get a webcam it also helps trust me do it