So why is it that when someone has a gf/bf husband wife etc that is diagnosed with cancer, and still continue the relationship they are praised for being such a wonderful person for standing by their partner through it.
What kind of person wouldnt stay? Is it really a hero act?
2006-08-19 13:36:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Unfortunately, there are people who don't 'stand by' their partners, family members, or friends when those people are diagnosed with a potentially fatal disease/condition.
There are many reasons they do this, including fear of death and a niggling fear of 'catching' whatever the disease is - not rational, but hey, humanity's not always rational.
My gran passed away when I was 20. I helped take care of her her last several years of life in this world. My cousin couldn't handle seeing her 'die' so she didn't visit very often. I chose to help my grandma and watch her live.
I don't have a problem with my cousin for making her choice. I feel bad for her, but I did what was right for me as she did what was right for her.
It doesn't make sense, necessarily, unfortunately.
Have a good one.
2006-08-19 13:44:20 · answer #1 · answered by tydlywnks 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A horrible person wouldn't stay, that's what kind. I don't know how anyone could leave their loved one when they get sick but I'm sure those kind of people are out there which is probably why people get praise for sticking around. I know it's got to be hard to watch your b/f, g/f, wife, husband, etc go through that and everything so I'm sure the praise may even help them get through it all as well...
2006-08-19 13:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Angelina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a cancer nurse and sometimes the spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend does not stay. They leave the relationship out of stress or just not being able to cope with the diagnosis.
It is the most horrible thing I have ever seen.
Sometimes the partner stays thru some of the treatment then leaves after things get too hard to handle.
2006-08-19 13:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really good question. I think that they are praised because it can be such a hard thing to go through. Everyone needs a little bit of encouragement sometimes, especially when you are going through a rough patch.
2006-08-19 13:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by kimberly b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is a hero act. I don't have cancer, but I've had a stroke. I got married in '03. I waited on my husband hand and foot, cooked his meals, ran his errands for him, cleaned the house, and did his laundry. He never had sex with me (not even on our wedding night) Though I got my own check every month, I wasn't aloud to spend money on anything personal. It all had to go toward his 3 big screen t.v.'s, his satellite dishes, and his cable bills. He was an electronics buff and owned everything at my expense. He even quit his job, and I still had to pay for all of his wants and needs. He would go out to eat twice a month with his brother, but I was never invited Once I treated myself to a $10.00 keyboard, and a carton of cigarettes, and he complained until I took out a $100.00 loan so he could spend it all on DVDs for himself. I never sit and watch T.V. I don't know if he ever watched the movies. His family room looked like "Welcome to Family Video." My point is: he was well taken care of until I had my stroke. Suddenly, I was no good to him, so he was going to put me in a nursing home. I'm only in my 50's. We lived together for only 11 months. He would rather put me away than to help me to get well. So, that's the kind of person who wouldn't stay with someone if they were diagnosed with cancer.
2006-08-19 14:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by smommeee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sticking by someone with a serious illness is HARD work. It is emotionally draining. The constant stress, appointments and worry can really take its toll on a relationship. Of course, the ideal thing would be to stick through it with the one you love, but many relationships can't tolerate the strain.
2006-08-19 13:43:24 · answer #6 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm still with my bf who has cancer I love him very much and i wouldn't be any where else.If you love someone who becomes sick you should be by their side helping them any way you can.I don't consider it a hero act. I loved him before he got sick, and this has made me love him even more.He is the hero battling this cancer every day. Your love for someone doesn't go away just because they get sick
2006-08-19 17:05:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, there are people who don't stay or who stay but don't stay faithful to their partner through their sickness. I have known both. I know what you mean, though, you would think if someone really cared about their significant other they would stay no matter what.
2006-08-19 13:42:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not a heroic act it is a selfless act and people congratulate the person for being caring.
2006-08-19 13:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would do it, no questions asked. When I was planning my wedding, my friend got engaged. We often had odd conversations, and the topic came up of parylsis. She said she'd leave her fiance if he couldn't walk. I couldn't understand that at all.
2006-08-19 13:42:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋