Why do some mothers think that they OWN their children?

Question

I know some mothers (including mine and my wifes) that act like they own their children. Example: If you don't do something exactly the way they ask, they will go on a guilt trip rant about how they sacrificed and dedicated their whole life to us, and nothing was good enough for their children, yada, yada, yada, guilt, guilt, guilt. Why? Why is it that some parents can have a normal relationship with their children where both parties accept and respect each other? Why do some mothers think that they own us when we, the children did not choose them? We were passengers in this journey they call motherhood. I say: "Children of the world! You owe you parents NOTHING! They should take care of themselves!"

Answer 1

I think many mothers live their lives through their children. They forget that they are women first and mothers second. Often, they are the mothers who act like supermoms and make the rest of us feel like crap. They are the mothers who are at every game, never miss a field trip and organize their lives around their brood. They seem like the perfect mothers. Unfortunately, when the kids grow up (and they do) these mothers take it the hardest. They still want to organize and run their children's lives. They are missing the big picture as far as motherhood goes. It is our job, our ultimate responsibility, to raise our children to be good, kind, self-sufficient adults. Once we have done that, our job is complete. We should be available to our children if and when they need our guidance but that is all. If our opinion is requested we may give it but only with the understanding that it is only one of many they have received and must consider. Sadly, when a mother will not let go, the child must cut the strings. Hopefully, in time, the mother will understand why.

Answer 2

A couple of things. One, how many wives do you have? Second, I disagree that we owe our parents (mothers in this case) nothing. I agree that we didn't ask for this life or them for parents, but that's what we have. If they have cared for us well, then they have made many sacrifices for us and we owe them gratitude, love, respect, and to help them when we can just as they helped us. However, I understand about the guilt trips and even jealousy in cases. That is not a good approach. Hopefully, they have raised us to be grateful and to help. If they have not, then it is a bit late to expect it or to lay a guilt trip on us to get us to do it. Further, we are individuals, which they often fail to see or respect, and we may do things differently not necessarily wrong. They do this, I believe, in part, because that's the way they were raised. They may be aware of it and they may have vowed to change it but it's very difficult to do. Sometimes we have to remember that they are human and are doing the best they can.

Answer 3

Not True. Irregardless how you feel now, you should love and respect your Mom. If she took the time to raise and Love you. Show her a little attention and tell her that you Love her,often.
You are right that you owe her nothing material. She did what she did for you out of love and devotion for you.
You can only really understand all of this after your children are Grown and Gone
In the meantime, be kind, you won't have your Mom forever, and you WILL miss her when she isn't there for you anymore.

Answer 4

Owe us nothing??? How ungrateful. For 18 years we have cooked, washed your clothes, gave you money, bought you a car and paid the insurance and cleaned your disgusting bathroom!!!! Now I feel better!!! We grew up where we did what our parents told us out of respect not out of guilt. And our parents were wiser than the smart mouthed kids these days!!! Got to go.

Answer 5

some females have such low vanity that they only won't be able to deal without a guy of their existence - and they're going to tolerate very almost something particularly be abandoned. it truly is not conceivable to imagine being like that and putting my personal want for protection above my newborn's happiness. regrettably, those evil adult men search out weak-willed females precisely because they recognize they could have finished administration and do in spite of they prefer. As for the mum who knifed her husband, solid for her. She benefits a medal!

Answer 6

lets see they gave birth to ya, they raised ya, feed ya, clothed ya, took care of ya when ya where sick and stood behind ya when no one else did, your right they should guilt trip ya, you should take care of them without a guilt trip, speaking as a person who just lost their mother, ya better appreciate them now cause boy when they are gone it hurts like hell and you remeber every little thing you said or did wrong to them. Dont get me wrong moms aint perfect but believe it or not neither are you.

Answer 7

you are a parent?,you are wrong if you think that loyalty respect sacrifice, are not on the agenda as far as parenting is concerned.
we all have a story to tell as far as our parents are concerned, however without them we would not be here to listen to it, im sorry my parents are not around any more so i can tell them how much i miss them, thier unconditional acceptance of me and my wife, thier
insight, thier wisdom, and i could show them my children, without thier contribution to my exsistance, my children would not be here.
i do hope you will grow out of your selfish attitude, Regards LF

Answer 8

my mother was like that right up until she passed away 9 yrs ago. my stepmother in-law treats her own son like she owns him & he can't have a girlfriend because of that. my husband & i have nothing to do with her because she is only my husband's stepmother. she tried to treat her own daughter like she does her son & she told her a thing or two.

Answer 9

YOUR TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND!!! talk to us when your over your 20s maybe even 30s then you` will know why they act like they do

Answer 10

how would you talk like that about you mother? it's only natural for them to do that bec they wanted us to be more responsible so quit complaining and start working!