My dad and I have never really had a close relationship and over the years I have tried so hard to have one with him. He is such a passive, non-emotional man that I don't ever know what he is thinking or feeling. I have tried to write him letters and talk to him getting out my feelings and it seems like it is ALL one sided....like I am taking all the initative and he is not. What do I do? It totally breaks my heart, and I am getting married next July and having him walk me down the isle isn't as special as if he would JUST TALK TO ME. What is going on? What can I do? Should I give up?
2006-08-19 11:57:21 · 10 answers · asked by Tiffany 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my father has narcissistic personality disorder, and we are in similar waters here. the day i got married he wasn't there (married in the courthouse) and didn't even tell me congratulations. he came to a party my sister threw for us, ate, and said nothing to me at all. my father doesn't even really know me, i don't think. he's so far off in "Scott World" as i call it, that he doesn't even know what it's like to be a real person. your situation could be different though, maybe he does have feelings and like a lot of guys has trouble expressing them? but you're his daughter and there is no excuse for him treating you this way. let him know exactly how you feel about your relationship with him and if you don't get what you want after that, i would say it would be time to move on with your life and stop letting it hurt you. who knows, he may still come around, but you shouldn't have to suffer until then.
2006-08-19 12:22:05 · answer #1 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should find out, from someone who knows him well, maybe your mum or sibling or his friend, what exactly is bothering him and why he refusing to let down his guard with you. You never know what the problem could be and you might be the only one who can solve it. Try to find out how he felt at his wedding with your mum and ask his advice on marriage.. tell him how great a mum you want to be and how great a dad you'd like your husband to be.. it might touch him in one way or another.. He's going to be the grandpa of your children, nobody likes a mute grandpa.. Ask him how he feels about being a prospective grandpa..
Look for the things that touch him the most and work your way through those crevices and one day, i can't promise it'll be soon but one day, you'll reach his heart..
2006-08-19 19:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by Natasha O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Just accept your dad for what he is and don't take it personally. My mom always told me that some men believe that their way of being a good dad was to pay the bills.
How is your fiancee's father-- I would see what you can do with that relationship, maybe he could be a better 'dad figure' to you.
Good luck.
2006-08-19 19:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by thinkofasong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your mom can help? She probably knows him better than you, and can act on your behalf?
I kind of wonder why you left your mom out of the picture here...is she still with you?
If not, then you should have a good sit down with your pop. Some people are just less attached than others. Sorry to hear this...I hope it works out for you!!
2006-08-19 19:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by powhound 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him how you feel IN PERSON. Don't be afraid just tell him you need a little talk. Have a nice talk with him probably on your wedding day so when you talk to him deeply then he'll probably know. And if he still doesn' feel that one talk a close relative and have them speak out for you.
2006-08-19 19:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what makes him "talk"....and get into that.
He likes football, politics, or certain things?
Read up and learn about these things. You can then talk to him in his "language" without discussing "feelings".
He can show you he cares or likes you, once he sees you are interested and learning about his favorite subject matter. He may never tell you his feelings, but he will let you feel closer to him with this step.
Good luck,
2006-08-19 19:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by schnikey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I would lie to you if i say that u should keep running and trying to get his attention and love...My dad is a big jerk too...I don't know what to say...I hope he will soon realize what a precious gem is he losing...
I wish you all the best...let me know what happened...
Good luck...
2006-08-19 19:09:30 · answer #7 · answered by redbloodyphoenix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAVEN'T SEEN MY DAD IN 20 YEARS, I HAVE MISSED HIM AT TIMES AND I HAVE FELT THE WAY YOU DO AT TIMES, TRY TO TALK TO HIM AS MANY TIMES AS YOUR HEART CAN TAKE, AT ONE POINT YOU WILL KNOW THAT IT'S TIME TO GIVE UP, GOOD LUCK, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEDDING AND GOD BLESS
2006-08-19 19:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by jan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
self-esteem training can help you disconnect from a 'hurtful' or disappointing person/parent. not much else you can do with someone who is fixed in their 'game'.
perhaps your approach needs to be different. try these:
http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/advice.asp
http://www.cyberparent.com/relate.htm
2006-08-19 19:55:33 · answer #9 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you Love him very much!
2006-08-19 19:04:12 · answer #10 · answered by jingles_200 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋