well i met this guys hes really amezing, were getting engaged, but the thing is he wants to start a family with me soon, i really want to but im only 20 years old i still leave with my parents and my family will never be ok with me starting a family now, they not even up for me dating they think its a thing to do when u graduate college. but i really love him im just not ready to have kids now, i dont think he is either hes only 21, but hes on his own he's in the army. he can take care of me but i dont want to be depend on a men no matter how much he loves me i want to be able to do stuff by myself, i really think a kid could slow me down but he doesnt think so, he got everything plan out, how we gonna live taking care of us and our baby but i dont have anything plan, im afraid if i get pregnant now my parents would kick me out and never talk to me again, and i dont want that.
please help.
2006-08-19 11:20:35 · 6 answers · asked by Edwina n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't have kids until your married. Then you can wait a while or you can go right ahead. Your choice.
2006-08-19 11:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ginny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I agree with your side. Perhaps he wants a kid, strictly b/c he's in the army and feels if he doens't make one soon, he may never have a child (bein at war, of course there's a chance he could be killed.) It doesn't make sense at all for you guys to have a kid right now. He's rarely home, you guys don't even live together yet, you're still with your parents, you're in college, and I like that you want your independence and own responsiblities even though he could support you. I have that same trail of that. I'm also dealing with a simliar situation of a 28 yr old guy that wants me to have his child, more likely b/c he loves kids, and he's getting old, but I'm definately not ready for now. So, it's not going to happen. If he can't respect your choice, you both might want to think alternatives...
2006-08-19 18:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the army too and I have some advice tell him to think about what would happen if u got pergent and he had to go to war there would be no one to take care of u and that would'nt be good if he really loves u he will u know what ur saying and wait for u Good luck and God bless
2006-08-19 18:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think your too young and if you have the slightest doubt then you shouldnt you dont want to be unhappy and have a kid and then end up getting a divorce...just tell him that you love him and you dont need a kid to prove that too him...he's probably just worried that you'll leave him for some other guy while hes in the army and if you got pregnant then you wouldnt...you just need to show him how much you care and tell him that you'll have plenty of time for kids later in life
2006-08-19 18:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by lonely heart club 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you aren't ready to have kids, and if he doesn't understand that you want to focus on your studies right now, you don't need him.
what you need to do right now is focus on graduating and getting a good job, getting out of your parents house, etc.
how can he expect to have you start a family with him when you aren't stable yet?
2006-08-19 18:27:43 · answer #5 · answered by mistressmorro 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen clam down. ok? you are an adult its your choice just remember when you are ready for kids, it may take some time. ok?
2006-08-19 18:28:18 · answer #6 · answered by youngan'curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋