They keep the ex and her little girl around (the little girl isn't his, she was pregnant when they got together). The little girl even called my husband daddy before we got married. Once we married he told the family that was no longer allowed, it's not his daughter. Well his parents still let this little girl call them grandma and grandpa. They also let her little brother do the same. I'm very uncomfortable with the whole thing. I don't want to be around his ex or her kids. His family just things I'm being mean to them and I need to get over it. His family doesn't even act like I exsist. It is causing us some very serious marriage problems. He insist the kids need to know his parents and we need to go to their house. When we go there are pictures of his ex and her kids everywhere, no pictures of me and one of our children. How can I help his family see they are hurting me?
2006-08-19 11:11:26 · 5 answers · asked by fin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No the little girl isn't his, trust me if it was she would be getting her money. I'm not worried that he will go back to her. Basicly I think it is really messed up that two people allow a child to call them grandma and grandpa when there is no relation. My in laws have several other grandchildren, and these two little children have there own grandparents (who also disapprove of the situation). But they insist that the ex be around and her little girl. The ex girlfriend doesn't need any kind of help
2006-08-20 02:53:09 · update #1
No the little girl isn't his, trust me if it was she would be getting her money.I'm not worried that he will go back to her.That isn't even an issue the issue is that his family treats me like I don't exsist and acts like his ex is the daughter in law.She doesn't need any help.And if she needed help she could always go to her parents(who by the way disapprove of this situation). Basically all I want to know is if I should say something to my in laws. My husband has talked to them and they just brush it off like nothing.Maybe if I said something to them they would understand better how and why I feel the way I do.Is it really so much to ask that you don't have to be around your partners ex and her children?We have even tried calling before to make sure the ex and her children aren't there, but his mom just gets mad and says its no ones business who is at her house, then when we dont' go she is mad because we won't go.
2006-08-20 03:03:32 · update #2
Oh my goodness lady I give u much super props!!! You know alot of women including me would not hang around for that, You know what mabey yr in-laws dont think too much of you and thats ok my in-laws dnt think too much of me either but you know what I do, I dnt go to their house anymore, I suggest you do the same, I guess their dream was for yr hubby to be with this girl so bad they think they might get them back together or something I dunno but the thing that they dnt see is that he's married to you and you guys have a family, but yr in-laws are getting in the way and making probems for you guys and really need to think about you and not these other people that are not family, you are and it's hurting yr feelings and if your husband really cares for you, it's hurting him seeing you in pain, So my advice to you would be not to go to that house anymore, yr in-laws can go visit you at yr home when they want to spend time with yr lil family and try to remember that you have yr husband not that other woman and that things need to change b-cuz it's not normal what you mentioned about yr lil situation at all and in this lil circus thing yr in-laws are pulling it's hurting someone and that someone is you and it really needs to stop.
2006-08-19 11:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by ))-->rOXY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that his parents are deliberately keeping them around. Its clear to me they would rather have had your husband marry the ex. I am not saying this to be cruel, its just an observation. Too often parents are not satisfied with whom their children marry. Yes, its a big problem. They say you don't marry the family, but I'm afraid as long as you marry INTO the family, its basically the same thing.
The thing to do is NOT to let it cause problems between the two of you. You need to stick together in this. Talk to your husband and let him know exactly how you feel. You need to keep communication open with him. IF he doesn't agree with you, and stick by your side, then you will be fighting a losing battle. His parents need to see that the two of you are HAPPY and that nothing can tear you apart.
I don't think I would tell them you are hurting. I'm sure they don't care, otherwise they wouldn't be doing this. I would tell them that you know they are not pleased that he married you, but the fact is you are there to stay. They can continue to act as though you don't exist, but it won't change a thing.
Relationships are hard enough without families interfering!!! You just need to keep a grip on the reins and don't let go.
2006-08-19 18:36:27 · answer #2 · answered by allyp51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WE ARE ALL IN A BIG EXPANDING FAMILY.
YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF...
BASED ON YOUR OWN UP BRINGING AND SELFISHNESS. IF IT IS PHOTOGRAPHS, YOU MUST REALISE IT'S THEIR HOME AND YOU MAY NOT HAVE GIVEN THEM ALREADY FRAMED PICTURES.
THEY ARE PROBABLY BEING DECENT TO A NICE LIKEABLE LADY AND HER CHILD... THEY ARE FRIENDS...
SO YOU WILL SEE THEM. OFTEN.
BE NICER OR HE WILL GO BACK TO HER.. ALONE!
. IF THAT IS WHAT YOU SECRETLY WANT?
QUESTION YOURSELF CAREFULLY. YOU CAN BEGIN AGAIN EASILY. NEW MAN NEW SLAVERY! SINGLE MOM>?
LOVE ME LOVE MY DOG.
YOU HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH LOVE FOR EVEN A NEW PARTNER OF HIS
{ WHICH HE WILL NEED IF YOU KEEP THIS UP--YOU MAY WANT HIM TO? FACE YOURSELF. YOU MAY BE CAUSING THE DISCORD}
WHAT WILL YOU DO? WHEN YOUR SON HAS NEW FRIENDS?
YOU CANNOT CONTROL OTHERS LIVES.
START BEING BROADER GAUGED...
SEEK HELP
WITH REPUTABLE GROUP THERAPY SESSIONS... GO TOGETHER WITH YOUR HUSBAND,
A LITTLE SEX IS NOT THE SCAR THAT ANYONE SEES.
NOR IS IT A CHAIN = ONLY IN YOUR MIND,
THE CHILDREN ARE WONDERFUL... LIFE IS A BIG TRIBAL COMMUNITY.
GO SIT IN YOUR MUD HUT ALONE. THINK OF ALTERNATIVES...
THEN COME OUT AND SMILE AT EVERYONE.
BE A POSITIVE PERSON... YOU DO NOT NEED YOUR HUSABNDS ATTENTION ALLTHE TIME.. check for stds.
.
2006-08-19 18:36:22 · answer #3 · answered by herbywalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is kinda a serious one.Perhaps the kid is truely his and they r tryin to hide that fact from you or the don't like you and are trying to be rid of you.U know what i think you should do?Act as though u aren't hurt,as if it doesnt make you feel bad.be nice to ur parents-in-law and be a sweet Daughter inlaw to them.Maybe the girl is nice to them and that's y they want her around and it could also be that she needs some help.try to accept the stuff for now and avoid being bitter.
2006-08-19 18:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by angel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/advice.asp
2006-08-19 19:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋