Ok, I have been best friends with this guy since we were both real young. We are around each other every day. He stays at my house all the time and I stay at his all the time. We always even sleep in the same bed together all the time and we have never even thought about touching one another. Until two days ago that is....... We had a party at my house and a bunch of people were there and after everyone left we went to bed together as usual. But this time wasn't as usual. We got to talking and playing and one thing led to another and we had sex. Now I don't even know how to be around him. We haven't talked since that night. He tries to call me but I can't even talk to him right now. Please someone help me and tell me how to get things right again. I miss him so much but how can I even look at him now? Please Help!!!
2006-08-19 10:41:54 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And by the way I am 22 years old. I am not immature. I just feel weird having sex with him because I have never looked at him that way.
2006-08-19 11:00:25 · update #1
You definitely need to talk to him. He's probably hounded by similar thoughts, and if you don't talk to each other about it, you'll most likely *both* come to all the wrong conclusions, since you'll be completely second-guessing each other.
Communication is absolutely important to keeping relationships working, both with yourself and with each other. Honestly think about how you feel; you miss him, clearly; do you think any less of him for what you did? Do you still respect him? Are you afraid he'll respect you less for what happened? He's most likely asking himself the same questions, and the last thing you want is him thinking he knows how you feel, and deciding what to do based on that, without having a chance to hear how *you* really feel about it.
The fact that he's trying to call *you* means he still cares about you, he still respects you, and he's scared silly that your feelings for him have suddenly changed. By not talking to him, you're most likely confirming those fears, and are sending the message that you're angry with him about what happened, that you don't like him anymore, and you never want to see him again.
Call *him*, let him know you guys need to talk about what happened; let him know that you're not angry with him, but that you *do* need to get some clarity and closure on the issue.
Pick a place to meet that will be fairly neutral to talk about it. You don't want to meet in his bedroom, for example, to try to get your head straight, or you'll be muddled up with thoughts of what might happen again. Arrange to meet in a park with a bench you can just sit on and talk, with no worries about any pressure for a repeat. You want to focus on getting things straight, not worrying about what might happen if you did it again.
And once you *do* see him, be honest. Let him know you're confused, that you don't really know what to think yet, but that you don't mean to shut him out of your life; you still do care about him, and you do miss him, but that you're trying to work things out. That way he won't get discouraged and decide you hate him, and go off in a huff, never talking to you again. The more honest you are with him, the more comfortable he's going to be about being honest back to you about what he's feeling.
It's been two days already; you need to call him *soon*, before he gets the wrong message and you really will never see him again.
Good luck with it, and remember--be honest, communicate clearly, and if you're confused, don't be afraid to let him know you're confused about something. And above all else, do it soon, before it's too late!
Good luck!
2006-08-19 10:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by mpetach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's is called you are growing up and your basic friendly relationship has turned into one with sexual feelings. It is natural. Your are already close to this boy and it's part of growing up.
Unfortunately you don't have much choice. You can't go back to the way things were. So you can either talk to him and figure out if you want to try being MORE than friends or you may decide to not be so close anymore.
Either way, children should not be having sex for this VERY reason. I hope you are not pregnant.
2006-08-19 17:51:09 · answer #2 · answered by cannon1977 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Until you have your feels figured out... like was sleeping together a good thing or not? Do you want to do it again? Is this going to change your relationship? You need to figure all of these things out and then give him a call if you miss him so much.
2006-08-19 17:47:18 · answer #3 · answered by tustudent 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you will have to see how far do you want the relationship to go, if you want just be friends or are you looking for a relationship. And then you need to talk to him and find out where he stands. Don't let sex ruin a good friendship
2006-08-19 17:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? 14? sex is part of life, your both sexually mature and you thought this would happen sleeping in the same bed. he enjoyed it you enjoyed , such is life , get over your immaturity , call the guy make your self have a normal conversation go to dinner and see if you want a friend with benefits or not
be an adult, act like one
2006-08-19 17:48:28 · answer #5 · answered by brinlarrr 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. My first question is: How old are you? The second: How do you really feel about him? Talk to him and tell him where you stand in all of this mess. The key is TALK to him. Yes, you're embarassed, but if you want to salvage your relationship, you've got to start somewhere. Good luck.
2006-08-19 17:50:46 · answer #6 · answered by ruby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you feel about him? If you only like him as a friend tell him that, tell him that you never wanted to have sex with him, and that you are very sad. Tell him that you miss him as a friend, and that you would like to carry on as friends. It will be fine. Just talk to him. He is probalbly as bewildered as you are, and he probably misses you too, and wish it had never happened. Just phone him , and talk to him honestly. If you are good friends, you will be fine.
2006-08-19 17:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by southernrightwhale 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him, like you said you have been friends for a long time. If you want to take it to the next level, then let him know that, if you don't want to tell him that.People make mistakes all of the time, but you definitely need to talk to him. He might be feeling the same as you.
2006-08-19 17:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by Supa M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is your best friend right? Best friends talk it out. Invite him out some where to a park or something so you can talk Some place that doesn't have a bed, lol! You need to talk about it.
.
2006-08-19 17:49:11 · answer #9 · answered by Dominika 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the question is if u like him? Cause if u like him then talk to him to see if u guys would start a relationship but if u dont like him like that still talk to him and clear the air out.
2006-08-19 17:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by Veronica A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋