Wedding Advice!?

Question

So here is the story:

My fiancees parents told us that they are paying for the reception in whole because they know him and I cannot afford it all by ourselves. My parents will pitch in NOTHING, not a penny. My fiancee and I keep fighting because even though they are not helping us out I still want to get them a gift...I don't want them to feel left out. He doesn't agree, he says they should ge NO say and No gift in our wedding. How do I make him see that they are my parwents and I still need to love and respect him. Am I wrong??

Answer 1

Elope and skip the reception and no gifts for anyone.

Answer 2

Tiffany, is the reason your parents not helping out is because they can't afford to? If that's the case, then by all means get them a gift. But your parents can still help with the reception even if they aren't financially. They could offer to decorate or help with preparations. So, at least they will feel wanted. But your fiance should understand, that sometimes people just don't have money to do things that they want too!
If your parents aren't paying the bill, because they choose not to because of your choice of groom then I could see he's point.
Honey, they are your parents whether they are right or wrong in this matter. So, a gift is in order. I am proud of you wanting to be respectful and loving to your parents. So, you aren't wrong! I hope your finance finally understands what this means to you, not the best way to start a marriage is it. I hope things will turn for the better for you, and you have the most wonderful wedding!
God bless us all...........

Answer 3

You are not wrong. Your fiancee should realize that even if they don't give a penny for your wedding finances, they are still your parents. Maybe they just don't have money to give you at all. But the fact is, he will not be marrying you soon if not because of your parents. and for that reason, you should be thankful enough. It doesn't necessarily have to be a very expensive gift, but just something that they will appreciate and will be a token of your gratefulness for bringing you out into this world. If your fiance don't agree on this, then he doesn't really have to know. If he continues to act this way towards your parents, i think he will not be a very good son-in-law to them in the future.

Answer 4

You are not wrong. Communication is the key to an open, honest, and strong marriage. If you're able to solve this then you've got a great start on your relationship already.

One gift that should be priceless to both parents - A photo with the two of you and then the selected set of parents on the day of your wedding set in a silver frame. It's a timeless priceless gift that both parents will enjoy and both should receive.

That should stop the debate and allow the two of you to enjoy each other and focus on what brought the two of you together to this magical point in your life, loving each other.

Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding.

Answer 5

Well, if they're not pitching in they really shouldn't have a say in the planning but even your future in laws shouldn't have complete say as it is your big day. As for no wedding gift, get them something. If for nothing else, than being there to support you on your big day and walking you down the aisle. As for your fiancee, explain to him that he's not only marrying you but your family. If he has a problem with that, you need to clear this up soon before you get too far.

Answer 6

Are they not paying because they "Just don't want to" or because they "cant afforded it"? I'm guessing it is just because they can't afforded it. You should sit down with your husband to be and explain that no everyone is life is well off and that his parents offered to pay. That was very nice of them but he should in no way bad talk your family (his family to be) just because they cant afforded it. Explain to him that it is rude and wrong to get only one set of family a gift and not the other, expecaly if the only reason for not getting your family a gift is because they cant afforded to help with your wedding. I'm sure if you ask your family to help set stuff up and just help with little things (that they won't have to pay for) they would be happy to help. Also, one thing your husband or you should never do is talk bad about the other persons family. It's not nice and it will only cause trouble. Get both sets of parents gifts. It's the right thing to do.

Answer 7

Life? Traditionally the bride to be's parents are supposed to contribute to the wedding and reception. Generally now, both parents get together for shared expenses for the wedding. That is the traditional stuff. Now about how your future hubby is acting. Tell him you will handle your parents yourself. If your parents are going to the wedding and reception, give them a gogeous card from you. Tell your future hubby that he is playing with fire early in the game by alienating your parents. By the way, just for the hell of it, put his name on the card to. Do the same for his parents also. Best to be fair for both. Sounds like you are the diplomat in the family anyway. I would also tell him that openmindedness right now is probably a good thing. Never know what the future holds.

Answer 8

You are honoring your mother and father like you should. There are no laws saying they are obligated to pay for anything. Tell you fiance' you both have more important things to worry about than a gift, like being happy for the rest of your live. Tell him it's a matter of showing respect an not giving it as a reward.My husband and I didn't have a lot of money when we got married either we mostly paid for the wedding ourselves and my sis made all the goodies for the reception. We didn't even have a reheasal dinner. And our wedding was beautiful. My maid of honor and I made my dress and it has moonstone and opal- like beading all over it. the underskirt is covered in intricate lace and it was a train off of a weddingdress I bought at a junk store. You never know it by looking at it. We paid 200.00dolars to get married in the Golden gate Park of San Francisco in the rose garden.Tell him out of respect for you he shouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Answer 9

No, you are right. You have to do what you know is the right thing. Maybe your parents can't really afford a wedding right now--you didn't really specify. You should ask them to help in a non-monetary way. Take your mother to pick out your dress with you, look for his wedding ring, etc. Also ask their advice on things even if you have to do it alone. This could make them feel special and useful. If they are narrow-mindedly ignoring your wedding, however, you may be fighting a losing battle. Your fiance has no right to get all high-and-mighty just because his parents are kicking in and yours aren't. He will soon be learning that what's his is yours too!

Answer 10

Even though the Grooms parents are planning, and paying for your celebration, they should not be excludded from the festivities. They are your parents, and creating a tension between them and your new family only causes problems down the road. Remember your not only marring your significant other but, you also are gaining another set of parents. Remind your Groom of this fact. Gifts for the parents are not typical, a bouquet of flowers later, a nice dinner to share your pictures is more appropriate.

Answer 11

No, you are not wrong. Parents are not given gifts because they are contributing to the wedding costs, they are given gifts because they contributed to your lifes. The gift is a way of saying thanks for helping make me who I am, not saying thanks for having a big bank account.

Traditionally, the bride's family pays for everything, but the groom's family still had some say and input (although not much). They at least got to invite just as many guests as the bride's family. I hope this will be case in your situation.

Always remember that while his parent's are paying, it is still YOUR wedding.