I met a guy onloine 7 months ago! I spent one night with him and it was a night full of passion, that I will never forget!, then he slowed down a bit and didn't talk to me as often, which I understand why. I moved on but remained friends with him after awhile. we both say hello every now and then through email. Now! 2 weeks ago he started instant messaging me everyday about 5 times a day! saying how he can't get me out of his head! and instantly I felt the same! I flew to see him last week for 3 days! and had a wonderful time with him! and he did too! now after getting home, he doesn't message me as much and is more distant again! He was not using me for anything, He told me last time he just got concerned about a long distance relationship and backed off! So my question is? What is scaring him this time? When I know he cares about me. Why is he distant again? please help I am confused.
2006-08-19 10:22:50 · 26 answers · asked by Lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe he just need some time to get use to a long distance relationship or he could be tired of just talking. I'm sorry but those are the best reasons I could come up with.
2006-08-19 10:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by LaLaLolita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are probably feeling there for both of you. There is also time expressing thoughts and emotions on line as well as in person. All of that and more, so much more that most will never understand, he reached and touched you some place that made you felt at ease during a difficult and challenging time in your life and provided answers when needed as well as an ear to listen to you.
Now understanding all of that, not saying it is 100% true, but if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck, it is a duck. All the signs from what you have said, you have been played by an internet player and have became his long distant booty call. It is hard to admit, but look at from the outside if the same was happening to a friend. What advise would you give her and what would you say was happening? Take your own advise and move on.
2006-08-19 17:43:21 · answer #2 · answered by Charles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried IMing to him?
How do you know he's not using you?
Maybe the same old "this is never going to work due to distance.." is bugging him again.
Maybe he feels that he should have more money to come visit you and feels guilt?
Internet relationships are tricky. You may THINK you know what they are saying, but without that visual body language and tone of voice, you may be missing the mark on what he's saying sometimes.
Maybe he's feeling heart break after having you leave, and doesnt know whether the good times having you there are worth the heart break afterwards.. although sad, not many actually like the pain of missing someone they enjoy..
could also be going through depression..
who knows, you must keep communications open between him to really know what's going on.. everyone will give you their opinion and theories, but unless you actually ask him, you'll never know what the truth WITH HIM is..
2006-08-19 17:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by senacia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have described a pattern. he spent time with you. Once you got home he backed off. Then given some time. He kept contacting you. You went to be with him and now he's backed off again. I'll bet you anything given a little time. he'll be after you again then you'll see him and he'll blow you off again.
Do you want to sit around waiting for him to want you? Do you want someone to have that much power and control over you. If he uses you again. How badly are you going to feel about yourself?
You have to make sure you don't become a human yo-yo. Available to his every whim. You don't have to import bf you can find on right where you are.
2006-08-19 17:33:46 · answer #4 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying that "deed tell more then words". Didn't he tell you by not showing interest in maintaining relation you developed even if it was one night stand? and again after you visited him?
He does not want to have with you any relation and sleeping with you is for him just sex almost like masturbating. So wise up and forget about him, the longer you will let it last the more you will be hurt.
2006-08-19 17:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's using you in a way, the way it sounds. he's probably messaging you loads after awhile being distant is because he needs the sex.
2006-08-19 17:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he got his fix. i had a bf like that once. thats all it is he got lonely and built you up in his head and prob realised you weren't matching his discription. let all thoughts of him as a bf go and keep it causual no strings etc..and he won't be scared of commitment.meanwhile find someone else.i found someone else now we have 2 children together.
2006-08-19 17:34:16 · answer #7 · answered by its me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you care more for him then he does for you he contacts you when he's bored and not getting laid. You are being used you just don't realize it. Look this is never gonna go anywhere move on
2006-08-19 17:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by Sarafina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want a long distance romance. He is using you for sex and obviously doesn't need it much. He talks to you a lot to make you think he's into you again and when you're ripe, he dives in and makes you go to him. WAKE UP! This happened to me, please learn from my stupid mistakes.
2006-08-19 17:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just used you for sex .He may be in a relationship already and knows you will see him on his terms ..
2006-08-19 17:31:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋