what do you believe is best?
1. after punishing a child for doing something very bad, like say, hitting the mother... you pick them up and comfort them?
2. you dont pick them up and comfort them?
3. what would you do?
2006-08-19 10:16:30 · 17 answers · asked by Indiana Jonas 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
As a mother of 4 I have some experience with this. First let me tell you that every child deals with punishment in different ways, but one thing I have ALWAYS done, and recommend to all parents, is that after punishing your child explain to them, on their level, what they did wrong, why it was wrong, what they could of done instead, and always let the child know that you still love them.
2006-08-19 13:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by funshinex4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do to punish this child? Comforting a child is very important. You are the mother and should be loving and kind to them. You are their achor. They depend on you for everything in their lives. Children are going to try you and sometimes they will make bad choices, but this does not make the child bad. Encourage them to always make good choices. Praise them when they do. Reward their good choices, not necessarily bribe them, but rewards are good. We all need motivation for change, so a small toy or a sticker, a lollypop would be a good reward system for a young child. Of course with older children, expectations are different, and I would not think a child over the age of four would be hitting their mother. This would be totally inappropriate behavior. Set rules to keep him safe and happy. Be consistent in your discipline and every aspect of your child's life. Be realistic based on your child's age. Demand respect, but respect them and love them also. You will see big changes, positive ones I promise. Showing love and affection towards your child is extremely important, no matter what their age. Good Luck.
2006-08-19 17:26:37 · answer #2 · answered by sleepless in the ATL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would choose #1. After the child has learned the lesson why keep the punishment going. Children need to know there are consequences for their actions, but that their mother still loves them afterwards. Just make sure they understand why they were punished.Put it all behind you after the punishment and enjoy your 'happy' child because they grow so fast.
2006-08-19 17:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should always reassure a child that you love them very much but that you are very upset with their behavior. (Seperate the child from the behavior) If a child is acting out and you believe it is to gain attention then you should consider that maybe you are at fault in that you haven't given that child enough possitive attention when the child is behaving well and the child is willing to settle for any at all even at the expense of misbehaving.
Regardless, never leave you child to wonder if he/she is loved. Make sure that the child knows that the behavior is what is not acceptable not the child.
2006-08-19 17:34:01 · answer #4 · answered by Julie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that forgiveness is something that is very important for children to learn. When there is a rift between two people who love each other, making up is very important. As long as you don't negate the punishment, it is a good idea to make sure the two of you have put an end to the conflict and they know that you have forgiven them and you love them. Very important for children to know that you love THEM even when they are naughty... it is the bad action that you don't like. Children need love.... especially when they don't deserve it.
2006-08-19 17:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the parent. I don't believe comforting them is good... why comfort them because they were punished for something they shouldn't have done?? I do think to show them that they arn't being punished anymore with a cuddle.. kind of to end the punishment, but not comfort.... That kind of defeats the object...
2006-08-19 17:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by Laydee T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depend on how old the chidl is...if the child is older and hit his mother I would send them to bed right away and let them figure it out...then after they come out of the bed I will have talk and give them a big hug and they will say sorry to me.
2006-08-19 17:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by +++++ SPOOK ++++ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would not comfort them until they admit they were wrong and have apologized for their actions. At that point, I think a hug and letting them know that you forgive them is incredibly appropriate.
2006-08-19 18:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by Manny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not pick them up and comfort them i would tell her not to do it any more and i would make her sit on the coutch with no tv no friends for about 5 minutes and every time they hit. i would add more minutes to the ounishment next time. good luck and take care.
2006-08-19 17:21:19 · answer #9 · answered by Crimson_Skies 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do not pick them up and comfort them because they will never learn the lesson. It is actually like you are rewarding them for misbehaving.
2006-08-19 17:22:11 · answer #10 · answered by Ohay 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋