she left here to goto her half sisters(whose 16) house at 6pm. she just text me from the bus saying shes on her way to the bowling lanes(wheres theres 2 bars and a club) on the bus with another 16yr old girl. which means she would be playing at least 2 games and leaving there at 11pm. ive just raced down there and picked her up. did i do the right thing or should i have let her do it?
2006-08-19 09:48:43 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she told me she was going to the cinema which meant going on the TRAIN from outside her half sisters house. BUT she got on the BUS and text me when she was half way to the bowling alley. i did call her on her cell and she said she thought her half sisters mum was going to pick her up. BUT as far as i know her sisters mum was not going to be leaving the house due to a 2yr old daughter being in bed.
2006-08-19 10:06:03 · update #1
also the bus ride is 40 mins away
2006-08-19 12:02:52 · update #2
I have a 13yr old daughter myself and I wouldn't have let her be there either.
It's not a matter of not trusting your daughter, it's the atmosphere she's in and who's around.
There are two bars and a club, obviously an older crowd is going to be there. In this day and age you can't be too safe when it comes to protecting your children. With alcohol and older people it could have turned into a bad situation and something could have happened to her. There are pedophiles, rapists all over the place and they don't where a sign identifying themselves.
You did the right thing.
2006-08-19 10:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by Val 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should trust her, shes 13, she is not going to get served alcohol or let into clubs and neither should this 16 year old as they are getting really strict about id with the 'challenge 21' happening. It is the holidays and she is just hanging out with her friends, surely you can remember what it was like being 13? You should have said well who is this girl, is i just you 2, OK we'll pick you up at half ten and give her friend a lift home as well. That way she wouldn't have been embarrassed that you had picked her up and made her go home and she would have spent some time with her friend.
2006-08-19 10:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you jumped the gun a bit. so what if they changed their plans and went bowling instead of the cinema. at least she told you where she was going. most kids don't do that nowadays. I know 13 is quite young but remember that girls mature quicker than boys (fact) and it wasn't like she was on her own. you should have let her go bowling then offer to pick her up at say 10 or 10.30pm. at least they were in a safe place. just cos there is a bar and club there that doesn't mean she will use them. you need to give her some slack and give her a chance to prove herself. where as you have just found her guilty based on lots of assumptions and no facts or evidence.
2006-08-19 19:02:38 · answer #3 · answered by 90210 aka Hummer Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you did the right thing. She is 13 for heavens sake.
There are too many weirdos out there. We have no choice but to wrap out daughters up in cotton wool.
Maybe when she is 16, she can stay out until 11 if she is going to be with her half sisters (as they will be 19).
I would have done the same in your position. What you did was right. She's gonna hate you for a bit but she'll thank you later in life.
2006-08-19 09:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by poppies say grrr! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one...
with a 13 yr old, I would say she would have to be home earlier then 11, not out bowling... and not in an area like you described...
it all comes down to the way you handled it i guess...
if you walked in and just said to come on, it's time to go home, i think she'd have a problem with that...
I would have to say, just look at how you spoke to her when you picked her up, and evaluate that...
also, you said she text'd you, does that mean she has a cell phone?? if so, you could have just called her back (or on her friend's cell if it was from there)... see what she said, and give her a time she would have to be home by...
just a few thoughts...
2006-08-19 09:58:38 · answer #5 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well done Dad you did the right thing. God love you, you have it all before you but you will be fine and little Missy will understand and thank you for all the love later. Wasn't it great that she called you. I think she knew that she was doing wrong and wanted you to come and get her. She will not be doing that again and to save face she will be able to truthfully say, "I am not allowed to go there right now " and she will be respected for it. I've been there, done that, have the teeshirt. Have two grownup children now and never had a moments worry about them. You are a great dad. God Bless.
2006-08-19 10:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by Learner 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
when i was 13 i wasn't allowed to be out at 11pm. i think you did the right thing, 13 is a too young to be out by bars and clubs and all. you're being a good parent so thumbs up! besides at that age you totally lie to your parents, its half truth, its half lies. i used to lie all the time with stuff like "im going out to such and such place with friends" and i would go to that place just not with the friends i mentioned, or meet up with a guy etc etc
2006-08-19 17:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice to see responsible parents.........wtg.
My daughter is 14 & I'd have done exactly the same thing.
Thinking back to when I was 13 I can remember trying to pull a fast one with my parents on more than one occasion & them doing the same thing that you did because they did the same thing with their parents so they knew, as we do as parents, all the tricks of the trade.
Only when she has kids of her own & they try to pull the wool over her eyes will she appreciate the things you are doing now.
2006-08-19 11:50:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly it was good that she called you to let you know where she was going, but yeah i think you did do the right thing, at 13, this sort of thing should be organised in advance with you knowing who she is going with, and a parent dropping her off and collecting her at an arranged time. kids don't look their age nowadays, they normally look about 5 years older with the way they dress and make up, i wouldn't want my kid socialising nears bars and clubs.
i wouldn't have said this when i was 13 tho, lol.
2006-08-19 10:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by Summer Rain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has decieved you then you did the right thing.
I did the same when my daughter said one thing then decided to do another.If you let it go it's the first step of a downhill curve.
I would say to her, yes , you can go bowling, we will arrange it, I will pick you up at 'X' time.
But dishonesty just doesn't work.
Lol I bet she thinks you are awful, but dont worry as parents we are all awful.
2006-08-19 09:56:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋