When i first decided it was a good plan and God's plan, to wait for sex till marriage one of my ideas was that if i waited, i would have a happily ever after marriage and everything would always be fine. I thought my wife would never be able to yell at me saying "you never loved me..it was always about the sex" like i heard in my own household a few times.
But...I think i wasn't being rational with my earlier thinking. There still will be fights and even a possible divorce, even if sex is waited for. I think just because we overcame one temptation doesn't mean everything will be fine always.
So..can i have some new positive light on why one still should wait? Will the marriage be at all better if the couple did wait?
2006-08-19 09:15:31 · 8 answers · asked by ryan s 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Simply, that you will share an experience with your new wife that you will never have had with anyone else. You will be able to share yourself at the most intimate level, for the first time with the woman you have chosen as your partner in life. That is a huge gift to be able to bring to any marriage.
A good friend of my husbands also waited until marriage to have sex, and he and his wife are very happy.
As to whether your marriage will be better for it, that is hard to say. If you share the same values and are agreed on the significance of your choice, then it might be, as having those beliefs in common are a boost to any relationship. If you do not agree, then it may make no difference, one way or the other.
2006-08-19 09:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by Amy A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Waiting is always a good idea! That way you can enter a life together without at least one regret: that you couldn't respect your spouse enough to wait for her.
NO, waiting is not a guarantee of anything in your marriage relationship. It is only one very small part. There is a lot of work in making a marriage work! Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You are signing up for a lifetime of adjustments. Most of them will be mental and emotional, not physical!
You are right, overcoming ONE temptation will not mean that everything else will always be fine. There are always more temptations!
Think: is your future wife WORTH waiting for? Are YOU worth waiting for? Do you want to know the magic of a one and only love?
Avoid at least one regret, and wait for your one special night. Make it mean something!
2006-08-19 09:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by MamaBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Waiting til you get married is always good, aside from following the teachings of your religion, its always the best thing to avoid unwanted pregnancy & STD's.
But it's NOT a guarantee that the marriage will work out. In the Filipino culture, they say that the best gift you can give your husband is your virginity, ok, but what happens after 5, 10,20 years if you dont work at your marriage.
Making a marriage work is about values, priorities and principles. In my opinion anyway. You and your partner's CORE values and principles should be in line with each other. I think that will make the "working" out your marriage easier.
2006-08-20 08:35:59 · answer #3 · answered by Keepingmycool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't! But it can help.
"Happily ever after" is not possible, because we are not perfect. I know, we have been married for over 50 years. It takes sacrifices, understanding the other, forgiveness and faith.
Love (NOT sex) is the answer - whatever the question! Try to read 1. Cor. 13. It has the perfect recipe for a good relationship including marriage.
2006-08-19 09:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by fresch2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not all about sex. I hate to tell you that. When youare young it is normal to think so. Marriages which last have nothing to do with what we did or did not do before the vows. Marriage is a commitment. One would hope that it is one for life. Respect, monogamy, working together on all fields, sharing , working outmoney problems, these are important in a lasting marriage. If you are lucky one day you find yourself at 80 and your wife is 75 and what you have left is a great admiraton, respect and love for each other. You are no longr going to think about the pre-marital yes or no situations.
2006-08-19 09:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by antiekmama 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Waiting to have sex until after your married doesn't guarantee that you will have a happy marraige and avoid divorce (you still have to wait for God to provide that perfect mate to you)...
However, waiting to have sex until after you're married can lead you to have a better sex life after you get married.
God created man and woman.
He created sex.
He made it pleasurable.
He wants you to strengthen the connection between you and your spouse by having sex, after you've both committed to marriage.
The question that you need to ask yourself what leads married people to be disappointed in their sex lives?
The world (and others on this board) would try to convince you that a lack of practice make sex less satisfying.
I disagree.
By saving themselves for marriage, a married couple has the opportunity to learn together to meet the specific desires and needs of their partner w/o constantly feeling like they are being compared to previous sexual partners.
That's truly a gift - the kind of gift that leads to a lasting marriage.
2006-08-19 10:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by Kilgras40 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are trying to barter with God. Just because you save yourself doesn't mean that everything will be peachy. You have to save yourself for the right reasons, that God called us to be pure. period. Also, you have to have faith in God in everything you do because if you do your life will be a ton better than it is without following His plan.
I know because I didn't save myself for marriage...I regret that decision. My husband and I love each other very much and both of us realize how much of a blessing it would've been to experience that for the first time with each other. Also, there's so much pain and heartache attached to promiscuous sex that it's not worth it in the long run. I think that's what God is trying to keep us away from because He loves us. Make sense?
2006-08-19 09:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only good thing about waiting is no risk of STD's. Otherwise, you should probably get some practice- nothing worse than disappointing your new bride on your wedding night.
I think for most guys, your "first" isn't really all that special... its just a stepping stone to further conquests.
2006-08-19 09:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by haha 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋