I really really really need your advice!?

Question

I'm 15 years old, and two days ago, I pierced my own ear, because I was pissed and all this crap. Well anyways, my mom saw it today, and today was the day I was originally going to take it out. Well anyways, she has, repeatedly told me that she can't trust me or I'm not her best friend anymore, or anything. And the sad thing is, I'm really sorry for what I did, I know it was stupid and really arrogant of me, but I'm really really really sorry! Well everytime I try to talk to her, she just gets all pissed again and she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I love my mom, and I don't know what I should do, to regain her trust back. I don't know what I should do period. Please help!

I did, I removed the earring, and did everything she told me. but she's still really really really pissed at me. And this isn't like her, because I'm the good child!

Answer 1

Your mom isn't supposed to be your friend, and she certainly shouldn't be holding it over your head. The fact that you've been labelled the "good child" speaks volumes about your mother. I'm a mom of four, with a daughter that just graduated from high school. We had plenty of fights, where I was upset with her, but mostly because of her attitude. You may have broken your mom's trust, but this is a huge overreaction. I'm sure you're mom is just scared that this is a sign that she's losing control of you.. Unfortunately, she's going about it in a counterproductive way. After a few years of these guilt trips, you will eventually rebel big time.
So if you want to have a good relationship with your mom and end this emotional manipulation, here's what you do. Go to your mom and say "Mom, can we sit down and talk seriously for a minute?" If she won't, then you're on your own in a way. You just have to do what you know is right and not worry about your mom. (Easier said than done) Maybe find an aunt or someone you trust to ask for advice.
If she's open to hearing you out, say "I'm really sorry I broke your trust Mom, and I hope you'll forgive me. I'm going to try really hard to do what I know is right, but I'm going to make mistakes, mom. And I hope when I do, that won't affect how you feel about me. I feel like I'm being manipulated when you tell me you're not my friend anymore. I know you want what's best for me, and I know that I there will be consequences to my actions, just please don't withhold love."
This should have an affect on her and cause her to think twice next time. In the meantime, don't take advantage of your mom's weakness. You should be a good person because it's right, not because your mom needs a "good child". Good luck.

Answer 2

You pierced your own ear>

Wow!!!

For someone afraid of needles( me) I would say this is really brave ofyou.

My sis got her ears pierced when she was five. And you can't do it at 15? Unfair, but you are asking for waysto reconciliation, not more fat to pour in the fire.

Just say you are sorry, send her a note! Better still , hold her hand, and look in her eye, and say your sorry! And cry like a baby! You don't have to do anything to gain her trust back. You are her child, and she won't hate you, ever. Just leave her alone with her anger for sometime . Then she will ground you for a few weeks, and take back some prievileges/reduce your pocket money, and that'll be the end of it.

PS- you are on a guilt-trip. It was not as bad as you think itwas. And I would be loathe to share everything with my dad/mom and make them my best friends. But , whatever floats your boat.

GOLDEN RULE---If hysterics don't help, just withdraw into your cocoon.

PPS- your mother isover reacting, but is it because she wouldhave preferred you got it done at a doctor's place, or what? Otherwise, sorry, but your mother is being unfair. Teens have a right to rebel, and you are one. And she is old enuf to know that you feel sorry( although there is no reason for you to feel so) and yet it seems she is the baby,and you are the mother. If I were around there, I would Tell her to grow up.

Trust? BS. She's just getting senti. Don't fall for the trap.

Answer 3

Does your Mom use Yahoo! If she does, show her your letter. If she doesn't, ask her to come and look at it. And after she does, give her a big hug and tell her you really care about her feelings and you are truly sorry you pissed her off.
It's an interesting situation, because both you and your Mom are acting in totally understandable ways. You are fifteen, and you want to take some responsibility for your own actions, and to make some choices on your own. It's part of that wonderful process called growing up. Your Mom recognizes that by your actions, you are declaring you aren't a little girl any more, who has to have approval for every little thing she does. And part of her reaction and her anger is not directed at you for what you did, but at the fact that she is losing her little girl and you are becoming a woman. And also won't be so easy to control.
It's a natural reaction on both sides. What you have to do now is bridge the gap that it has created and re-establish the mother-daughter relationship between you. But your mother should be aware that this is going to come up again and again in the next few years, because you are becoming an adult.
You sound like a very mature teen, and I'm willing to bet you'll find a way to heal the breech.
Good luck to both of you.

Answer 4

Well, if you don't really want the earring, take it out and let it heal. You can start by telling her that you are sorry, and that you still love her, but give her time to cool off. If she is that mad at you, just give her a day or two and then try talking to her again. She won't stay mad at you forever, she is just disappointed at you right now, and it will pass. Try cleaning the kitchen or doing some of the chores that you normally do not do and show her that you can act like an adult. (not saying that you don't already) When you have given her enough time, walk up to her and put your arms around her and tell her you are sorry, and that you do love her and that you will try not to let her down again. I hope this helps, and that you can patch things up with her..

Answer 5

Well, it sounds to me like you and your mother need to grow up! First of all, everyone makes mistakes! Has that ever crossed her mind? She can't be mad about just that! There has to be more to it than you piercing your own ear! Your mother is your mother-not your best friend. At least that isn't how it should be. I'm sure you have enough friends, but she is the only mother you have. I think it's great that you're trying to talk to her, but she doesn't sound mature enough to talk to you about anything. She needs to sit down with you like an ADULT and discuss with you the situation. What really made her mad. How you can win her trust back. But it is ridiculous to tell you that you're not her "best friend" anymore! You are her daughter whether she likes it or not and you will always be, so she might as well grow up, and talk to you-be the adult here and fix the problem here. Good luck!

Answer 6

Your mom is over reacting. She is also withholding her love, friendship, companionship...whatever, which is wrong to do to a child. Every child (including your mother) has been rebellious, disobeyed or tested limits. I am not saying your actions should go unpunished. That is up to your Mother. I strongly disagree with the withholding type behavior your Mother employs.

Anyway, childhood is the time for making mistakes with someone who loves you there to catch you and help you back on your feet.

There is probably nothing you can do about the way your mom is acting other that to tell her you love her. Try and remember this when you are a parent. Be a firm but FAIR one. Always give love even if your child misbehaves.

Answer 7

She'll get over it. Say nothing more about the incident and eventually, Mom will cool off. And don't do something like that again, as you could get an infection doing it yourself. Wait a while to pierce your ears (by a professional). I didn't have mine done until 30 (yes, 30) and the world didn't end because i had not done it when I was 15.

Answer 8

sounds like if your mom may have some issues to. There shouldn't be anything wrong with getting your ear pierced, girls do it all the time. Maybe you should talk to your dad and let him see your point of view to fix your mom. Sometimes if moms don't take your side, then dad will and he is the stronger parent. And if your mother notices that he is sticking up for you, then she will be compelled to feel the same way and might agree with him. If your dad is unreliable for this, then use a grandparent or aunt or uncle or someone that your mom has a good relationship with.

Answer 9

The only way to regain her trust is to earn it back and that will take time. Take the earring out and apologize again.

I gotta tell ya though, the "best friend" thing disturbs me. She is your mother. You have friends. Your mother should behave like a parent, not as a friend.

Answer 10

I think her problem is more disappointment that anger. Moms don't react that great in certain situations where they hold strong belief's. Plus, she's beginning to realize that, truthfully, you are not best friends. Not the way she want's anyway. She will get over it though because it will happen more and more as you get older.
I thought my mom was going to send me to military school when she saw that I got a tatoo behind her back.