found crazy photo of boyfriend's ex under his bed...?

Question

a frame with LOADS of photos of his ex girlfriend ... he says he is over her so why has he kept the photos?

Answer 1

Alot of people keep pics of their exs. There is nothing wrong with that. They are in their past.

Answer 2

I still have a few photos of my exes.. however they are in a photo album and in a discreet place. I do know your pain, though. I'm aware that my boyfriend still has photos of his ex ( I came across them one time and then they were "put away" again) and also I know he has a few sentimental emails from her as well. They were only together for 6 months, I've been with him for two years. So why does he feel he needs to keep this stuff? Then, I turn and ask mysekf why I still have those old photos that I haven't thrown away yet. They're just memories, nothing more. Sometimes it's nice to go back and think about that time.. it doesn't mean he's still secretly pining over his ex, if he were then there would be a lot more clues about it than just some dusty old photos. Chances are he forgot they were even under there. I'd get over it and realize that things with them didn't work out for a reason and you two are togetehr now and they are not. If it really bugs you then confront him about it.. I'm positive he'll reassure you that you're his girl and she's a part of history.

Answer 3

Well, the first thing I thought of is why are you looking under your boyfriends bed?
But, that aside, judging by the way most guys keep their rooms, it doesn't surprise me. It could have been under there weeks, months or years.
Time will tell if you have anything to worry about, but my guess is you probably don't. Lots of people keep photos of their exes.

Answer 4

Photos are memory, yes photos can be thrown away, unlike the memory that you have inside your brain unless you have a blank mind or medical excuse. Be honest with yourself don't you still have some photos of people or ex's of your own. I wouldn't be so jealous if i were you. It's just part of his past, photo of his ex isn't a big deal, just think of it like photos of when he was growing up, photos of his ex is and was part of his growing experience!!!

Answer 5

photos are photos with stories of our past. If he and she are thru and you do not feel threatened by her presence or that he hasn't been fooling around with her then rationally with out judgement. I have pictures and momentos, rings, stuffed animals, things that remind me of some of the happy times. Just because we hold on to and treasure some things of our past doesn't always mean there is a negative connection or something to worry about. And now that you know about them it's not a secret anymore. Be open mind to him and his reasons, let him know he shouldn't have to hide ANYTHING from you and that he doesn't want you to be suspicious of.

Answer 6

i'm no longer many times terrified of spiders. I stored a rose haired tarantula as a puppy; we had him approximately seven years before we gave him to a neighbor (the youngsters have been allergic to his internet). the former day i became into undressing to get in the bathe and 1 / 4 sized spider ran up below my shirt...for sure attempting to get as some distance faraway from me as a threat. So I brushed him off and took my bathe. as quickly as I positioned my night outfits on, the detrimental guy became into apparently in the night outfits...he ran down my leg and returned in the back of the lavatory...the place I presume he's getting counseling for our close come upon. i do no longer freak out for many spiders except I comprehend them as risky.

Answer 7

Well maybe he forgot they were there, after all he is of the male species. if you had said they were in his sock and under ware drawer then maybe i would be a little more suspicious.But under his bed, I'd give him benefit of the doubt. I mean how often does a guy clean under his bed. On the other hand , well either way good luck.

Answer 8

We men need to keep things like this for a while. Depends on how LONG since he was with this woman tho. If it was a LONG time ago then I'd say you have a problem. If it wasn't too long ago then let it be. We men feel things very deeply. I don't think most women understand this. We men cannot turn our feelings on and off like a light switch....some of us anyway. I know I can't. Feelings that took months, or years to develop take at least that long to fade. He may not be looking at them or pining over them. I have a box of 'stuff' too, but I don't open it or look at anything, and if I did it would be for letting go purposes. I use it as a gauge to tell me if I 'feel' anything or not. The day the box turns from being memories to being a pain to work around....it goes in the garbage, but not before. Don't mess with it, leave it alone.......again.....unless it's been years since this woman was around.

It's possible that the guy didn't 'finish' things off by throwing it away. He may have actually forgotten it, or he may just be being lazy about dealing with it. Don't get too uppity over it, and don't treat it like a threat. Don't associate yourself with sensitive, or potentially unsavory feelings. He may associate you with it and tarnish things or bruise them in your relationship. Sounds nutty but it can happen.

If there is a lot of stuff there then that means he felt a lot for her or they spent a great deal of time together the result of which is this pile of stuff. Leave it alone.....again......unless it's been years....then bring it up but very politely and gently.

We men need to let things go inside......it's not easy and there's no rules to it. You can't force yourself to fall in love, and you can't force yourself to fall out either. If he's a good guy and honest with you in other things in your life, then chances are these things are of no threat. Let him decide when the stuff goes. The stuff I have is just there. I know it's there, and knowing is enough of a salve for my heart and soul. He may know this stuff is there too. Like I said, I don't look at it or open it. The temptation is there, but that's how I let it go.....crossing each little step. Managing to overcome the desire to look at those things. Then realizing that I don't care about this movie ticket stub or that card. When the twinges stop, the desire to or temptation to sit and be melancholy about what was will go away. I'm not saying he's hanging on, but just trying to help you understand how some of us guys do things....how we think, what we do and how we go about things.

He could be well past the 'caring' stages and into the stage where he knows this stuff is there, but he's enjoying not caring about it. That is still an attachment.....and that has to go away before the box of stuff does. It's not like he still has feelings or anything. I'm not saying that. It's hard to explain.

You know how when you get cut...it bleeds...it hurts and then it starts to heal? Well....same thing. After a while the cut heals but it's still sore. You can use the finger, but there's a little pain. Slowly it heals......feels better, can still use it, works just fine, but there's twinges of pain. then it's healed but there's a mark.....it's red.....if you put pressure on it it hurts. Then the red mark changes to a more normal color, but you can still see it. You use the finger with no problem. Functions just fine...no problem, but you can see where the cut was.....remnants that remain but are harmless, but still.....the healing isn't done until the mark is gone. When the 'mark' on his heart is gone....the 'wound' on his heart will be gone and probably so will the box.

Hope all this rambling made sense. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Everybody is their own individual person. Their history is what makes them who they are today. Having keep sakes, photo albums and stuff like that from their past is normal. Some people collect more stuff than others. Just cause he has photo's of an ex......don't sweat it. No big deal.

Answer 10

I never 'unloved' any of my gf, or wives, but, I don't consciously keep their photos under my bed! That is like letting their 'ghosts' haunt me!

He has trouble tossng out the garbage, I would presume.
If I am being generous, in my presumption, you might put them away, and tell him that you tossed them, just to see the reaction! If it is a 'well, I didn't know they were there', you are home free, and can toss them for real!

If he has a hurricane of a storm over them, you weren't ever his gf, you were his mistress!

Answer 11

If he really and truly loved her, a part him may always love her. That doesn't mean he can't love someone else. It's kind of like if someone's significant other dies. They can move on and be with someone else--but part of them will always love that person who passed away.

Just because it didn't work out or he wasn't IN LOVE with her anymore, doesn't mean that part of him won't look back fondly. In time, he may just get rid of the pictures on his own...but for now, he feels the need to hold onto that memory. It may have been his first love...cut the guy some slack.