Ok. Hands down, I l**ve the father of my child. I have always. I want to m***y him. He is the only one for me. I know he knows i feel this way. I decided to move in with him. He said he wanted to take care of me and our child and that he want me to sit and look pretty. All i have to do is help out with an outstanding utility bill and pay it per month and keep food in the house. I thought....good idea, he felt that it would a financial benefit 4 the both of us. What do i do? He said that he had no romantic feelings towards me and that he would never try having a relationship again. I want more than just a live in arrangement. I think he wants more. What should I do. How can I get into a relationship with him again. I don't want to mess this up!!!
2006-08-19 07:07:51 · 17 answers · asked by Mid S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your not going to unless he wants to.
2006-08-19 07:13:06 · answer #1 · answered by The Hit Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy, but I'm putting my five cents worth in here anyways.
From a girl's perspective, he's not interested in you. For him it's just a live in arrangement so that he can probably have some time with his child (if he really even cares at all), avoid paying you child support, and maybe in hopes you'll provide "free" sex while you're there.
You're going to fall for him really bad and he's going to ignore you. It's not worth the emotional torment on you. I'd really think through this one before deciding to stay with this guy. Sounds like he was just in it with you for the sex. Like most guys, when a baby comes along, they bail out quick. They just think of women as play toys. You're better than that. It's obvious he doesn't care about you, and I'd be surprised if he really cared about his child.
2006-08-19 07:16:07 · answer #2 · answered by Voice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, but, open. He must want something, but is un-willing to give up his position of power. out of fear.
Love in a relationship means missing out on things that aren't even noticed when the feelings are genuine!
You want a charade? Tell him little lies.
You want the real truth, and you give the real truth? He will accept, or reject, and you can both go your way. It is h e l l living in a situation of fabrications, lies, and more lies to cover up the original lies!
How about a real and solid relationship, or, a fake deal?
That is the choice here.
Remember, the good quality long outlasts the savings on a cheap piece of junk that has to be scraped early in its expected lifetime!
2006-08-19 07:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tha is a really odd setup u guys got. I guess he feels he does have a responsibilty to your child and he is doing this becasue of that. In other words if u were not pregnant/no kid was involved he would not let u live with him correct? what makes u think he wants more? Has he given u any hints/ ideas? Do u still have sex with him?
I think also u have to think about child support. If you guys split up and lived apart he would have to pay child support to you. Maybe he figured it would be cheaper to let u stay with him
2006-08-19 07:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation. I know how you feel.....I truly do. I've been in this situation. Wanting more, wanting the love, but not getting it the way you think it should be.
He probably loves you, but based on what you said, I think he probably is not IN love with you. For whatever reason. He has his reasons.
I think you are playing with fire with your heart, and your child. I think you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable spot. You know going in that he isn't interested in the way you want him to be. I'm worried that his motivation is driven by financial convenience rather than care and feelings for you.
I tend to think that you are giving without getting. Agreeing without any commitments from him. If you move in, and you get more attached, you run the risk of a cold shoulder one day. Callous treatment with no sympathy for your situation or feelings.
Think with your head.....don't think with your heart. You are not in a safe place and could very well be in the situation where you are, or will be taken advantage of.
Give your situation a LOT of careful and deep consideration. You have to protect yourself. No one will do it for you. There are people in this world that are nothing but opportunists. They will do whatever it takes to feather their own nest. I know I just had a relationship like that. She was an opportunist that had me around for her own needs, but was resistant or unwilling to be sensitive to mine. It's a hurtful experience. Don't fall victim to this kind of thing. I'm not saying he is this way, but the conditions are right for it. Think about it and do so carefully for your own sake.
And even tho I am remarking on this last is in no way to be taken as less important. More so in fact, which is your child. This child needs the love and care....the PROPER love and care of both parents. If one is dysfunctional, you'd be better off on your own....hands down.
Keep this little soul in the forefront of your decision. You are not making decision for just yourself, but for the little one. Do right by this child.
Good luck to you.....
2006-08-19 07:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to ask this question on Yahoo. Make him go with you to a top-notch counsler. This will help on so many levels you cannot imagine. If he refuses to go -- then go by yourself. You need a third party perspective on this situation before you drag your child into such a horror. So get past your feelings for once and think about the child.
2006-08-19 07:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
from a disillusioned persons point of view, I would just walk away, you keep telling yourself you love him but there is no love between you, where are these feelings coming from? you wanting what you can't have maybe. if you finally get what you can't have will you still feel the same way, I don't think the drive will still be there. the drive in you comes from him saying no. yes will destroy it. he is conditioning you for a situation you will not be comfortable with. you being a lap dog while he has his un-tethered lifestyle. run forest run. when females are smitten , they are willing to buy into anything, if you are determined to do this thing, lighten up on the infatuation . it should be a one for one thing, you do one thing for him, he does one thing for you, if he refuses to do one thing for you, it's time to move on, you can still "love" but you can do it without losing your dignity.
2006-08-19 07:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my objective is rarely merely to get intercourse from a woman. i'm no longer that form of man or woman. even with the shown fact that, if we finally end up having intercourse, and that i ascertain that this chick is a b*tch in a while, thats a various tale. all in all, my objective is rarely merely intercourse. i'm greater efficient than that.
2016-12-11 11:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its like some shows i watch on tv , dude moves in with his childs momma and has no relationship to her whatso ever, you can try living with someone gets them closer together eventually
2006-08-19 07:15:31 · answer #9 · answered by .................. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He OBVIOUSLY doesn't want more. If he wants more then it's simply a "house mouse". He doesn't love you honey... sorry, it's true. Move one and drain him for child support.
Slainte,
-D
2006-08-19 07:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by chicagodan1974 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel honestly and im sure that will accomplish a lot. Good Luck.
2006-08-19 07:13:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋