Wanting a better realationship with my boyfriends sons,
The real mother is not at all involved with them.
My children have growm for sometime and i just got into this realatioship a few months ago.
2006-08-19 06:15:09 · 11 answers · asked by laura t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Coach a team or take them to an amusement park, camping, fishing...the 8 year old will prolly be the easier to bond with just because at that age they still want to hang around with adults, as opposed to the 13 year old who will prolly just want to hang out with his friends. Just don't fall into the "cool parent" trap where the kids get anything they want from you because you're so afraid of alienating them. That only leads to trouble. With boys, it's a good bet that if it involves dirt or fast rides, it's gold.
2006-08-19 06:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by Catty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what their interested in. The 8 yo more than likely loves 2 create----art sets, markers,crayons--or he's probably into racing sets, action figures--(wrestling)----try a microscope they luv 2 look at nasty things under a lens----the 13yo likes music---wrestling----books- if they are not long and boring---the computer and music- c if u can get tickets 2 a band or concert of his favorite group when they are n ur town----try 2 do a lil with each kid-u don't want any problems with the brothers arguing over she likes me better-----together try 2 do things that you all like---d.v.ds at home----video games----(make sure they are E for everyone)----and make sure the games r educational---board games---Take them 2 places in your area that they haven't been 2 for sightseeing-establish an adult 2 child relationship 1st---u don't want a friendly relationship 1st---they tend 2 runaway with that---and if this turns out 2 be long term they will resent u if u ever have to put ur foot down on a parental level---u don't want 2 come across as mommy 2 fast---the older one might start hating u -words like ur not my mother---so take it slow---always ask the b-friend if it is alright that u do things like that with his kids---u don't want him 2 think that ur rushing fast n turn him off-and the last thing-- Don't buy their love---If this last long between u n ur man------they will drain u dry n always look 2 u 4 everything if u start that from the beginning----
2006-08-19 06:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by BK1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two step-sons and three step daughters, and getting to know them was rather difficult at first. With the boys it seemed that they liked it when I would sit down and play nintendo or some other video game with them. The fact that you want to get to know them better is a great start! Find out what they like, and plan things to do with them one on one. If you try to take both at the same time you still won't get to know them on an individual basis. Going out to eat and then going to a park to feed the birds might be fun for the 8 year old, but I doubt the 13 year old would like that. Maybe dinner and a movie with him. I think you'll find that if you simply take the time to talk to them as real people, and most importantly, LISTEN to them - you'll be among their favorite people, as most adults don't really care what kids say or feel. Good luck to you in your new adventure!
2006-08-19 06:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by heartforhelping 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-17 13:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take them paint balling! Or go karts are good too. But, don't try to become their friend they will expect fun and games all the time. And, they may not ever take you seriously, show your bounds. Don't let them walk all over you, just because you want them to like you. And, don't try to take away the role as their Mom. They never like that.
Good luck, Hon! This stuff isn't easy!
2006-08-19 06:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have grown kids and you want to help someone raise theirs. Well since you do the first thing you don't do is ever talk bad about their mom. Don't try to be their mom just be their friend. Asked them what they would like to do for fun then do it with them.
2006-08-19 06:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Apple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take them to the park and do water balloon fights, go swimming at the lake, ride bikes, picnic, throw freebie, play soccer!!!! There's more but they are involved with money!
2006-08-19 06:22:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't push it. Kids can see that and get turned off. You don't want to do too much because they think they have a sucker. Just relax and let them get to know the real you.
2006-08-19 06:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Color with them, get Dad in there to,so they can see how much fun it can be with all of you together as a family. Anything messy kids like that.
2006-08-19 08:33:13 · answer #9 · answered by Witchy Woman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can i talk 2 the 13 yr. old
2006-08-21 04:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by Ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋