My Dad is very rude ,I have become even more rude when I talk to him.?

Question

He has always been very dominant and he screams often.I think he is selfish and he does not love me..He does not take any reponsibility of the household also.I am a very hard working person trying to shape up my future.I do not have any support by him some times i have to pay all the bills .I do not know whom to discuss this with.recently I hyave done his Bycott I am not speaking to him at all and I am too being very rude to him and not being benevolent any more.Pls help tell me what to do or am I doing the right thing.If I would suffer the whole life like that.

Answer 1

You can only control your own behavior. If he chooses to behave in a rude manner, it is not up to you to change him, nor is it your responsibility. However, being rude to him is totally within your control, as is the ability to remove yourself from his presence when he is acting this way. Set the bar high...don't allow anyone to treat you badly. If you set that limit, and don't engage or even interact with people when they are like that, you are doing better than most of us! Just keep your standards for your behavior high, and don't inherit this behavior just because he does it. You deserve to be happy -- don't forget that!

Answer 2

Sorry about your sadness. I'm sure your dad is rude because he is disappointed in the way his life has turned out. If you have to pay bills I know that's a painful experience for a man for his Son to be the one to have to keep his family together. Maybe you can concentrate on some good things your dad has done and maybe just keep your focus on that. You can learn from this don't start a family until you can properly support them financially as well as emotionally. This time in your life want last forever, unless you keep focusing on it. Just try not to hate your dad just feel sorry for the guy who got himself in something he can't handle. leave him alone also it's bad enough for him that you have to pay bills. No man wants his son to tell him what to do. Don't listen to people who tell you how you can fix him. You can't fix your dad you can only fix yourself. You can learn how to deal with your feelings on being rejected. There are a lot of good books that can help you so that this rough time of your life want scare you forever. Your choice . I'm sure your dad loves you . Every body just don't have great people skills not everyone knows how to handle their disappointments. Get some books from the library learn from some experts on family behavior. It can get better for you. It really can!!!

Answer 3

He uses the controling coping skills that he was taught as a little child by his own family.
Being 'rude' and 'not benevelant' back to him is a mistake and will suck you into being just like him.
get some relationship books (library) and study what good relationships are. you may also want to look into self-esteem to get pointers on how to be with others including 'rude' ones. Self-esteem can rebuild your personal power, sense of dignity, honesty and many other characteristics which will help you cope in an UNDIGNIFIED world.

Answer 4

We learn by example, and I'm afraid he's not setting a very good one. Is there anyone, anyone at all that you could go to for help? Your age would help to give you some better answers. No you dont deserve it, and you shud not be paying all the bills, not your responsibility. Try and seek out some help, you do need to get out of there for your own benefit. Good Luck

Answer 5

Get a roommate and move out. If you're still too young to do that, move in with relatives. Or, contact some prep schools and see if you can get a free scholarship. Most have a certain amount of free room and board that they award each year. Remember, he is the adult. It is NOT your job to stay and take care of him. He may want a codependent relationship, but you DON'T have to participate.

Answer 6

Urge your father to get screened for depression. This is one of the symptoms of it. In fact, get a complete physical exam for him. If he has always been like that since you were likttle, then the only thing you can do is change your attitude toward him. Boycotting him isn't going to work. He's your dad and he's expected to die before you. Try to talk to him very calmly and when he responds in a rude manner, simply tell him, equally calmly, "Dad, please don't talk like that to me. It makes me feel belittle. I'd appreciate if you'd talk more nicely to me. Otherwise, I will go home." You stated what action you didn't like, and you stated why. Then you asked him nicely to change the actions and you've explained what will be the consequence if he continues. Sometimes you can't teach a dog new tricks. But you can try to have a sense of humor about it. Another tactic is to disarm with humor. Roll your eyes and smile. "Oh, dad! That was rude." You can try counseling yourself in order to learn how to deal with him better. Some people just like making themselves unhappy. My dad never says thank you. I'd tease my dad about that by pretending to be him. "Thank you, daughter, for your thoughtfulness. You are truly my favorite child!" and he'd say, "shut up" and I'd say "Nevah!" He's in his late 70's now and he's never going to change. Some people will give anything to have their dads back on earth again. good luck, dear.

Answer 7

You are hardworking, trying to shape up your future, and you pay the bills. That means you are working and earning.. Get out of his life, better leave him alone. You can surely live your own life, rather than living together in such a miserable situation.

Answer 8

Do you have any relatives you can confide in? Are you old enough to move out. Could you stay with a relative for a little while? It's probably better if you stay out of his hair for a while. Is there a drug or alcohol problem in your home? What is your mother doing?

Answer 9

If you are already paying the bills, just move out and don't put up with the screaming and rudeness anymore.

Answer 10

Stop talking until all parties start behaving and talk in proper manner.