I am in a lesbian relationship and I dont know if I should try to hold on to it. Me and my girl got into a fight the other day and she put her hands on me. I had to call the police and yes, she got arrested. She has never been locked down before so you know as soon as she got out, she was callin me apologizin. I really dont even want to deal with the bull no more because she acts stupid all the time because she does not trust me when I have been nothing but faithfull to this girl. I want to move to another city and start another life with her but with all this happening, I just dont know if I have the strength to do it. Plus while she was in jail I found chatline phone numbers and codes which gave me proof that she was talkin to someone else. She say she loves me and she will take whatever I dishout to her just to keep me around. She has no family, shes 32 and Im really all she got. But I feel like I just dont care anymore and dont want to deal with anything anymore. Now what?
2006-08-19 05:27:49 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First off, let me mirror what some of the others have said: your orientation is not a major playing factor. That being said, there are certainly aspects to LGBT relationships abuse that are unique. No one can tell you to leave this woman; this is a decision that you need to make for yourself. Clearly, from what you have already said, you are nearing the point of ending your relationship for several reasons. It is important that you understand that a batterer will not stop. Telling you "I love you" and "I'm sorry" and "it will never happen again" are all part of the process. She will not stop being violent without getting help. IT is important that, if you choose to remain with your girlfriend, that you prepare for yourself a safety plan: know what you will do if she gets violent again to protect yourself. Examples include having extra car keys, planning with a friend that you will stay with him/her, always having a phone in your hand in the home. Please look at the resources that I have attached.
Like I said, the decision to leave can only be yours. I wish you luck.
2006-08-19 06:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by keshet80 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, this has nothing to do with your sexual preference. You have reason to distrust this person. It sounds like you are wanting someone to say, "move away". Well, do it. Move away while you have some sanity left. There are people who will trust you, be trusted, and treat you with respect. Go find them, wherever that may be. There is a possibility that this could escalate into abuse of a more physical nature. You are the only one who can stop the pattern. Be accountable for your own safety, well-being, and happiness.
2006-08-19 05:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by GOSHAWK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of lesbian relationship or not, she laid her hands on you! She went to jail! Generally when it happens once, it will happen again! If you have proof that she has been talking with someone else, why would you put yourself through that? You need to move on and worry about your well being, not hers. Its not that hard to do. If you feel afraid to tell her that you are leaving, or that she needs to leave, get a friend to be with you when you tell her for your own safety. Then move on. There are lots of people out there and one of them is just perfect for you!! One of them will treat you with all the respect and dignity that you deserve! Stay strong, keep your head up and good luck with everything that you do!! :)
2006-08-19 05:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of it. It does not matter if it is a lesbian relationship or a straight relationship. If things have gotten to the point where the police have been involved, it is time to jump ship. Moving to a new city is not going to change things. Besides, if you are certain that she has not been faithful/loyal to you and your relationship, she does not WANT the relationship.
2006-08-19 05:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by tg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex bf did the same thing. And once they start with the hitting it only gets worse. He accused me of cheating on him but it was him doing the cheating, he blamed me to justify his own actions and guilt. My advice to you is to get out now and move on without her. Don't let her hold you back because she has no one else, you'll only ruin your own life by staying with her. And if you move to another city, don't give her the address or your number, that way you can move on without her stalking you and making you feel guilty. You deserve better. Good Luck.
2006-08-19 05:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by CLM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH HONEY, RUN!! sorry about yelling but you should leave. I should tell you I am a married straight but have I got the town for you to move to. Don't laugh, Wichita , Kansas. Some of the nicest ladies in town are my friends and No one takes hitting and cheating lightly. even if nothing else i say means anything to you remember this..........someone has to get out alive. good luck e-mail me if you get to Kansas.
2006-08-19 05:38:53 · answer #6 · answered by scornedgypsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a Life gal...
Why don't you start treating yourself better? Live your life for yourself for once ok? Don't let anyone treat you like that. You should start learning how to love yourself.
You're still young.....get another person who would treat you better and respect you as a human.
2006-08-19 05:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by akanekaye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey..dont do that for the sake of pity..just cause she doesnt have no one...well apparently she does...(when u found out that she's cheating on u)...
as long as u dont care anymore..and u wanna move on...so do that..u can keep in touch if u feel like it.. but do have your own life now as long as u were unhappy with her..
2006-08-19 05:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by Nazty1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Get the hell out of this relationship--sounds like the problem is not with you but with her. Nothing will improve unless she wants to change herself.
2006-08-19 05:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
doesn't matter if the relationship is lesbian or hetero, she hit you. That's abuse, and it doens'y get better by STAYING in the relationship. You can find someone else who will love you and NOT have to hit you when she gets angry.
2006-08-19 05:33:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋