I was living with my ex for 7 years. She moved out 3 weeks ago but I would say we broke up about 2 months ago. I really miss her and haven't been the same since she left. I've hooked up with a few girls since then but I just don't get that excited about them. The worst part about it is, when I talk to my ex she gives me the impression she wants to get back together but wants to try things out with this other guy first. I feel like such a dumbass. I know I should just move on but everytime I ask her to tell me it's over and to move on she refuses to. I want to start seeing someone again but I still have strong feelings for my ex. How long will it take until I don't feel that way about her anymore. What should I do?
2006-08-19 03:39:43 · 15 answers · asked by Joe 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't waste your time on your ex. girlfriend.Start dating now!!!!!
You will find someone who realley cares for you. I ve been down that road. Only with me it was a guy. I took the advice of afriend and started to date . I met the man that realley cared for me and he became my husband.
2006-08-19 03:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by mamayer6 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm seeing someone who is in a similar situation. It's hard, I know.
Everyone's grieving time is different. I say it that way b/c you ARE grieving - it is a loss that you are suffering in your life.
You don't get excited about other women b/c you still have feelings for your ex. This is very natural. Even after some many months or years have passed, you will always have a special place in your heart for her.
There's nothing wrong with you - you just have to take it a day at a time, try to relax and allow the Lord to lead you.
As far as her "impression" of still wanting you back - that's exactly what it IS - an impression. I see it as she doesn't want you, but doesn't want anyone else to have you, either sort of thing. She's got her new play toy - she doesn't need you anymore. That's why she's saying she wants to see what happens with this other guy first. YOU are on "hold".
Do you really want to be a leftover?
You are NOT a dumbass. Your feelings are perfectly normal. Honey, she IS playing with you, leading you on, etc. She "refuses" to let you go b/c she wants to keep you on a leash.
Instead of waiting on her to "let you go", why don't you make that step for yourself and let HER go? That will be the best thing you will ever do for yourself. Then she will see that you have "moved on" and don't need her.
But BEWARE! As soon as you do this, she might attempt to get you back yet one more time. Don't fall into the trap she is setting for you. Stand strong.
I wish I knew WHY you broke up - it would help me to advise you.
I would start out slowly and go out with others - make them very casual dates. See several people until you are comfortable with a particular one.
There IS someone out there for you to share your life with. Find someone who is respectful to you, has good communication skills, has the same common interests/values as you and someone who will be honest, trustworthy and faithful to you. All these things are the key in any relationship that's going to work. So, if I hit on any of these things that wasn't going on in your relationship with the ex, then it's maybe not meant to be!
I hope my advice helps you. I understand what you're going through and care very much. Feel free to write me and let me know how you're doing! I'm sorry this was SO long - I just really hate to see you continue to put yourself through this hell and allow her to control your life!
2006-08-19 04:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by penwrite5 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to her. Unless you like this feeling of dispair.
Unless you have a child together or property that needs to be divided, there is no reason to keep contact with her. Not at this point, anyway.
Let your heart heal; learn from all the mistakes that have been made, and move on. And I know it's much easier for me at this point than it is for you.....it's not my heart that's hurting at the moment.
She's being nice to you when she talks with you, yet she wants to see how it goes with another man first??? She's keeping you in the wings...taking advantage of your feelings, just in case things don't work out with this guy.....she'll have a sucker to turn to.
Did I mention you should stop talking to her???
2006-08-19 03:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be the rebound of a rebound, from you. You know, the feeling may never fully go away, but it will compress itself enough in time that you won't hardly think about it. Experiences like this don't leave because you need them as an everpresent reminder in the back of your mind for your next journey. If you feel like going a date, do so...if not, chill with your buds, grab a beer, go to a game, have fun. Just keep your mind busy so you don't have time to think about her.
2006-08-19 03:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by youdontneedtoknowme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you find someone else that will knock you off your feet. But who knows you may just need time. Or if you really want her back......do something so awesome she can't help but to say yes.....make her think of all the things she is missing out on. You should check out this site for some great ideas if this is something that your interested into doing....
www.lovingyou.com
2006-08-19 03:46:42 · answer #5 · answered by browneyegirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it might be for a while until you get over her. have a guys night out with some of your friends. go to a strip joint are to a bar and you will find someone better then her.
2006-08-19 03:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by party_2_hearty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's keeping you around for her "fall back on guy" just in case her new relationship doesn't work out. You deserve better. Move on.
2006-08-19 03:44:00 · answer #7 · answered by sheeny 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
from my experience
stop contact her and talking to her, if she there that much you never willl, Go out have fun with the guys, Don't talk about her and seek some professional help
2006-08-19 03:44:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is trying to pull you down, in simple word she is selfish, listen this'YOU HAVE TO FOREGT HER ' if you want ot met other girls, i don know how tough is your ex, i hope she is not as 'sticky' as you said. she is treating you like a 'spare tyre'.'REMEMEBER , YOU CAN DO THIS TOO CZ YOU ARE A MAN'.
2006-08-19 03:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's easy, there is an exact amount of time you should wait to make sure that you are ready. That amount of time is 94 days.
2006-08-19 03:46:07 · answer #10 · answered by Dude 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋