should i take my kids father back we have been together 8 yrs but he is abusive when things don't go his way

Question

he is sometimes a nice guy no i don't like the beatings i wish he would change right now he is in jail should i take him back we just had a new a baby she is 4 wks and we have three more kids he say he is sorry and want to start over what should i do confused and in love we been together since i was 16 and now i am 24should i give him another chance yes or no

Answer 1

I can understand that you would want to be with your children's father for a number of reasons.

However 100% in my opinion, No. You should Not enter into a relationship with him again. You should never stay or be with someone who abuses you.

That wouldn't be a safe or productive environment for you and your children. And that is something that your children will remember probably for the rest of their lives if the were present in times of abuse.

Don't misunderstand, I believe it is important for your children to have a relationship with their father- maybe meet in a public place where everyone can go and he can spend supervised time with them.

But please, please don't take him back "for the sake of the children" because the children don't need to be an a situation were abuse is likely to happen. They need peace, love, and stability.

You need to be with someone who will love both you and your children. A man who won't abuse you or hurt you. But a man who will be your partner, your friend, and a good example of a man for your children.

There are men who will be much better in a serious relationship to you and your children, than what you've been through in the past.

Abuse is not love. Abuse is illegal. No one deserves to be Abused.

Blessings To You & Yours

Answer 2

I've never been in that kind of situation, so take this with a grain of salt. But I would generally say no, you shouldn't. No one deserves to be put into that kind of predicament, and what happens when things don't go his way and he takes it out on one of the kids? That can't end too well.
But, love works in some crazy ways, as we all know. So, in my opinion, first you should ask yourself if you really love him, or if you just love the idea of him. If you do love him, you have to talk with him and find out if he is really serious about wanting to be with you. If he is, he has to know that the beatings stop. Regardless of if he gets his way or not. Putting your hands on someone is not the way to take care of anger.
Now, I say all of this, but like I said, I've never been in a situation like this. So I probably don't know how hard something like this, especially talking to the person about it, offering ultamatums (sp?), can be.
Good luck though. I hope things turn out well for you.

Answer 3

Hell no. Once abusive always abusive. He may even turn on the kids when they get older. Or hurt the baby. That would not be good for anyone. Think of the kids. just because he is the father doesn't mean much. You have to protect them from him. Stay away. You may love him, but you don't hit people you love.

Answer 4

No! If he's been like this for the last 8 years, he will NOT change. I, too, was in an abusive relationship. You need to make a complete break from this guy, for your safety and the safety of your children.

Answer 5

Absolutely not. He needs to get counselling before I would let him anywhere near the kids let alone you.

You don't like the beatings then don't take him back. What would you do if he hit your 4 week old with the same force he hits you because he wants her to stop crying and she won't. He would kill her.

Apply for full custody and get a restraining order.

Answer 6

Do not take him back. No matter what he says. Who's to say one of these days he may really fly off the handle and hurt you or your children or both it may even lead to death. If you can't leave for yourself, leave for your children. You don't want them growing up around abuse and fearing for your life and theirs. If you could try and talk to a professional on how to deal with the situation appropriately. Good Luck and God Bless you and your children.

Answer 7

NO NO NO and NO. Been there done it and I finally woke up and seen this man will never change. He is with some one else now and she is going through the same thing I went through. These men are control freaks and your life will be a living hell. Get away and start over.Please believe me, it's the best for you and your children. Be strong!!

Answer 8

NO!!! If you do give me your address so I can call child protective services. If you don't have the self confidence to stay out of an obviously dangerous situation, then do it for your kids. They aren't old enough to make desisions for themselves and as their protector you have to keep them away from an abusive father. Don't think he won't hit them, he will. Please don't go back, there are too many lives put in danger. Stay away from him and get a restraining order for you and your kids.

Answer 9

No, do NOT take him back. Go to a battered womens shelter with your four children, and file a restraining order. Then get some therapy for yourself and for your children. Him beating you DOES NOT ony affect you, it affects your children. So, this time, don't think of him, don't think of yourself, think of your children and the home that you want to raise them in. Do you want your children raised in a home where it is acceptable to physically abuse your partner?

Answer 10

Do not take him back. He may kill you one day. Your life and the childrens life isn't worth it. take him to court for a restraint order and for child support. This behavior is no joke, he will only get worst in time. If he were truely sorry, he would not treat you that way. He dosen't love you, he doesn't even love himself. Please take this advise to heart. Stay away from him. If you love your children they deserve to have their Mommy alive. Don't be afaird of him, there are places to go. Women helping women.