My sister and I have been living together for some years now. But recently her brother whom is on drugs has ask my sister to keep his youngest child. The childs mom is also on drugs or was until a couple of weeks ago when she overdose and ended her life. My sister has been keeping this little girl since march and she has 2 other sisters. My sister has had little to no assistance from the brother whom recently went into a drug program. And no assistance from either of the grandparents or legal aid. But I guess now since the mom has passed on she can get assistance. Since the mom's passing the two other kids have been staying here. One 18 with kid and one on the way. The other 16 and has been living with a boyfriend.
I feel like what little space I did have has been invaded. I don't feel comfortable around them. For this family has always played that stepchild syndrome.The kids don't care for me and I can't live like this. I feel like I"m paying rent and have not say.
2006-08-19 02:25:40 · 15 answers · asked by patient 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We all have our levels of temperance, and you've done well enduring in sharing your privacy. However difficult it seems to be to handle, in the beginning, it was the matter of making the best out of a bad situation/s. Additionally try to look at the circumstance in a different light, if you will. The children are still young, and in their teenage stage...I know, yikes, and then some sometimes, but depending how long they have been in you and your sister's care, they have been observing you and her. How you's both handle responsibility, and day to day life. You may not think they care, or notice, but they do, and they probably will never admit it, but you's both are being a roll model. How you's handle frustration send either positive or negative messages. All anyone has to help them is hope, that what they see will have positive impact on them sometime, somewhere in their future. We can only help them get there. They may be letting their hair down a lot so to speak lately, but they are being themselves, and that seems like a sense of comfort as a form of trust. Perhaps you are a person, who takes life very serious mostly all the time, and of course you have your own issues to deal with and are a very mature individual...however perhaps you have forgotten to have a little fun yourself. It is possible that is one side they would like to see in you, but will not approach you because they don't know how, and can feel your rejection therefore a wall has both side devided. If you want to turn things around it will take a lot of patience and work, but it is doable. On the other hand, like I said we all have our own temperance, and you know your own limits, therefore because I know not what other issues of life you have to deal with, and it being a private matter, the option that is open is you finding another place, but if so, try to do it in a positive way and hopefully very friendly so no one has bad feelings towards you, and you towards them, and everyone can be friends if you's meet up again down the road when you take time to visit your sister with no tension in the air. You will be glad you handled it that way much better down the road. That's all I can think of at this point but hope it was helpful, good luck, and take care!
2006-08-19 02:52:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly natural to feel the way you do. If it feels wrong for you to stay, move out. You can still try to assist your sister by offering to babysit, or coming around to help with chores when you can, but if you are not ready for a ready made instant family, you need your own space to maintain your sanity.
Your sister can apply to become the foster guardian of the kids. This way she will get some financial assistance. Tell her to contact the local foster parents organization, or local child protective services. They should be able to give info to her on how she can keep the family together, under her care, and get some financial help.
2006-08-19 09:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by HoneyB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL YOUR RENT MONEY IS DEFINETLY HELPING YOUR SISTER OUT, BUT AN OBVIOUS ANSWER IS TO PUT THE KIDS IN A FOSTER HOME AND STILL BE THERE FOR THEM CAUSE YOU BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE. IVE BEEN CLOSE TO THAT SITUATION BEFORE AND I KNOW ITS NOT EASY. YOUR NOT WRONG FOR FEELING LIKE THAT, I MEAN YOU HAVE NO SPACE OR PRIVACY NOW. I WOULD REALLY SHOOT FOR SOME AID. DONT GIVE UP THERE IS ALWAYS WAYS TO FIND AIDES. BUT IF I READ CORRECTLY SOME OF THOSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE OLD ENOUGH TO WORK TOO RIGHT? TELL THEM TO GET A JOB AND STOP MOOCHING!
2006-08-19 09:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by CATCH 22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, my best sugguestion is this tell you sister how you are feeling, and tell her that she needs to make a choice you or the other children, actually the 18 year old can get out and find a place close by if she wants your sister help, The other choice is to move out yourself and pay rent for something that is yours and go and see your sister on your own terms.
2006-08-19 09:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one screwed up situation. Everyone is going to have to come together to help out. What did you mean I feel like I am paying rent? Aren't you paying rent? Do you think your sister is enjoying all these children? Get over yourself and help - that is what families do.
2006-08-19 09:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu Need to Get Over yourself and help your sister out. That is what family is for, weather blood related or not don't matter help. Trust me when I tell you that how you handle this situation with determine other things in your life.
2006-08-19 09:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by baloo_99_dmajor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your complaining about how hard this is for you? Quit your
whining and move out! It would help your sister, the children will
have more room, and the ordeal will be less of a burden to you.
2006-08-19 09:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are never wrong for how we feel
we are only wrong for what we do
what are you thinking of doing?
moving out?
kicking some of them out?
you have the right to be involved in the decisions about who lives in the home you help pay for or support
discuss it with your sister, tell her your feelings, talk about your choices
it might be that you require some of these older kids to find another place to live
2006-08-19 09:35:52 · answer #8 · answered by enginerd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then move out!!! That will solve all of your problems. Find a friend and go get an apt with them!
2006-08-19 09:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong for feeling the way you do because people on drugs get you in trouble. You gotta stand up for your feelings & defend yourself.
2006-08-19 09:33:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋