I ran into my first love. He was hand in hand with a woman, looking very happy. The question...?

Question

He got away from her for a moment to come and speak with me. He stated that they're planning to marry, and asked me if it's okay with me. I told him that it is, and I want him to be happy. He went on to tell me that if I was ever to get seperated from my husband, he would drop her, and try to be with me. (I have been seperated for almost 2 years without him knowing, apparently.) I told him to go and be with this woman, that they looked so happy, and that's all that I want for him. He kissed my cheek and returned to her, I assume. I've been crying all day on and off now. It's harder than I thought to know your first love is moving on. Would you have told him you were seperated?

Answer 1

If he was happy, you probab;y did the right thing. You are one EXTREMELY brave, unselfish, beautiful woman for doing that. There aren't many people who would have. It hurts now, but you did the one thing that will help your soul and it may hurt now, but when u di a good thing like this, it comes back to you ten fold.

I hope that everything works out for you. Take care of yourself, and good luck. Best Best Best wishes,
Xoxoxo

Answer 2

In your situation & how you are hurting, these are the times I wish I knew your real name. For some reason unkown, when a person is trying to comfort you, hearing your name whispered into your ear as they give you the greatly disserved hug is so much more comforting. In that one simple show of affection helps to make you realize that you are still loved even if it's not from the one your crying over. Now the thing that really bothers me about this man is his actions the day you ran into him & he's ? soon to be wife. There's just so many things he did that is telling me that deep down he has no respect for a womens feelings. These types of men for one cannot be without something hanging off their arm. You stated that they just looked so happy together, but yet when he whisped in your ear, and asked your permission to marry the other women he proved he had no concerne what so ever in thinking in that chance meeting that by serving his needs, how the both of you would take with you. He Knew is girlfriend was able to hear his words,and give you obvious affection , do you truely feel after all that she had been forced to watch that they could go on & seem so happy, that it made you feel a marter.Some might say that he did still have feelings for you. But I feel as though he was out to serve his on needs. He cared nothing of the after effects. If he did still love you he would have been more mature in reconnecting with you to tell you his feelings one to one. The one most increminateing piece of this puzzle was his comment that he would drop the woman he planned to marry . Didn't that one comment warn you. That was the iceing on the wedding cake that he had no regrets for any pain he would cause another. And he would suffer without one feeling of guilt. Instead of crying over the fact that you know he still cares, you should be crying in pride that you realized what his true motives are. You kept you fealings in check as an adult is expected to.What if years down the road ya'll did get back together, And then that same type of situation came along. But this time it was you watching his behavior from the otherside of the fence. Would you then realize that all they love and happiness was a maybe a front. Would you worry that he would do the same and drop you as soon as he had the onother waiting in the wings on standby.
My hope for you is that after reading this you will see his true personality, and that he's ownly concerne is how and what affects him. Stop with the tears of regret and bawl your eyes out in celebration of how you dodged a bullet straight through your heart***Nellers***

Answer 3

It is frustrating to see your first love moving on, but I think it would've been unfair to tell him you were seperated. He obviously seems happy with this other woman. If you really love him, you'd let him be happy. Besides, who's to say things would go back to the way they were when you guys were together the first time. There's a reason the two of you are not together any more. If that hasn't changed, then you'd both be unhappy together.

Answer 4

If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat ON you. I mean, why did you break up to begin with?

PLEASE! The dude was WITH his fiancee and walked away to tell you he'd drop her? What if he'd gotten married by that point, would he still leave her for you? Can't you see through this dud, I mean, er, dude? He basically said, "I'm getting ready to commit my entire life to my girlfriend, but that means nothing."

Whatever a man does with or to ANOTHER woman. he'll eventually do to you also.

Please get a grip. Were you crying because you still want him, or because you realize now what kind of person he is?

Instead, go tell the g/f his intentions. She needs to know what she's getting mixed up with.

Nellers (below) is right on!

Answer 5

NO!!!..i was in your position before.. but the only difference is that time i just broken up with my bf..and i met my 1st love..we went back together and thought we are fated to be since this is a 2nd comeback after 8 years..
He's nice to me compared to the past as he told me in the past he's having 1 more gf other than me..now he has only me..After sometime, he's back to his usual self..always tell me hes busy and have lots of friends to entertain, but not me..and usually will call me at night to ask me go to his house where his parents are all sleeping and have a gd f"uck..it's very hurting..very insulting..i feel like a pro that time..
So ask yourself, why in the 1st place you both broke up?if it's becuase of him cheating,he will definitely cheat again..and moreover he's getting married, he still can say that to you meaning, he will say to other ex too..if he likes..DEFINITELY NO TO HIM...

Answer 6

sure, i don't find anything wrong with you telling your first love you are separated. However, don't expect an invitation from him anytime soon. After all, he is planning on marrying this woman. And you need not interfere. If things are meant to be...they do have a way of working out.

Answer 7

No.because i would want him to think that i'm better off than he is. N, if u two had it so good together, why did he became an ex-first love??? Just stop fooling yourself n move on dear.It's not worth your tears in the long run. Get yourself involve in something positive n accomplish things that u weren't able to before n before u know it, someone will come along n sweep u off ur feet.Time does heal.

Answer 8

first love is something which is very diff 2 4get....mine is quite similar 2 u but worse is he is my neighbor n his new gf is pregnant for 3 month already but i n my ex-bf just break-off last month....that mean they star the relation b4 we quit from the relation.....n i was the 1 who walk away from his life n if i din do that may till now I'm a fool....he know well that i love him so much that why, he can easily taken advantage from me & he was my first love since i was 17 yrs old n now i'm 25.....what do u think...?how can he do that 2 me.......he said it's was by mistake...till now he still calling me n saying the same thing that he love me but he can not leaves that girl......i cry like anything but now i'm okay.....i wan him 2 b happy...even i'm not a part of that.......but i miss him so much :(

Answer 9

If he looked happy I wouldn't of said a word. Knowing that he is planning on getting married I wouldn't want to be the one to break them apart. Besides if one left their wife or soon to be wife for me I am not sure if I would trust him. Although intentions on his part may be true love in the back of your head would you wonder if he would leave you for someone else?

Answer 10

Absolutely tell him-if he reacts to the news then the relationship with the other woman was not a solid as it appeared to be. If he does nothing, then at least you won't have to live with 'what might have been'. Go for it, girl! Good luck!