Thoughts for Today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

>>>1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.....He thought he
>>>was God and I didn't.
>>>2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
>>>3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
>>>4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
>>>5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
>>>6.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
>>>7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
>>>8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>>>9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>>>10. I'm not a complete idiot --some parts are missing.
>>>11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>>>12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
>>>medicine.
>>>13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
>>>14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>>>15. Consciousness: the annoying time between naps.
>>>16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>>>17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
>>>18. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
>>>19.. Procrastinate Now!
>>>20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; do you want fries with that?
>>>21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>>>22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
>>>23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
>>>24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>>>25. He who dies with the most toys is none-the-less dead.
>>>26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
>>>times the memory.
>>>27. Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
>>>pig.
>>>28. The trouble with life is there's no background music, and I can't find
>>>the darn HOLD button.
>>>29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
>>>30. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
>>>
>>>
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Answer 1

LOL. Well put. LOL.

Answer 2

those are good!!


Why We Split Up
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to
quit. Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.
I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back.

Answer 3

Lol! Good ones!

Answer 4

LOL.. very good indeed.. loved ur thoughts..

Answer 5

lmfao

Answer 6

hilarious thoughts....lol

Answer 7

i like it!!!