I've been told I have no soul ,?

Question

Because I've had to deal with the death of family members from a young age, I have become accustomed to those I love passing away and I accept this is a part of life, I do mourn the loss of a loved one but I deal with it very quietly and without any outward showing of grief.
Because of this quite a few people have told me I have a black heart.
Do I HAVE to cry in front of people to prove that I'm feeling sad ?

Answer 1

Not at all , I never cry over the loss of a loved one, I tend to give them a damn good send off and celebrate thier lives, not mourn their death.

Answer 2

No, certanly not. Different people deal with things in different ways. You sound like you have dealt with death alot more than the majority of people. Go back in time a couple of hundred years, when death and disease were more common and less shadowed than they are now, people would have seen more death then than anyone does not, and they come accustomed, and excepted it like you have.
Everyones got to deal in there own way, but its undertandable that if someone is going through it for the first time, seeing someone calm and solemn will be very confusing for them.
Explain this to them if you wish, but dont feel you have to, mourning in any way is and should be a private thing in the long run, something personal between you and the person you have lost. how you deal is up to you, and by god you only. Just make sure you do mourn, and come to terms, and make sure you are not holding anything back, because anything other than this could be psychologically damaging.

Answer 3

Everyone handles grief in their own way, you are obviously an introvert person that finds grieving a very personal experience. It is perhaps the other peoples sense of grief that has prompted them to say these nasty things to you. A good cry is good for the soul as it lets out the emotion, yet serves no other purpose.
Fear not, those that have passed know what is in your heart, and it is they who count the most.

Besides the passed over are in a nice, kind place and those who cry do it for themselves,not for the departed. If you have doubts over this, examine your own thoughts.
You feel sorry that YOU will not see them again, you think of all the good times that YOU have had with them, never that they will not be able to see you.

This is not selfishness, this is your core being knowing that they CAN see you and will continue to have good times with you.

Oh and by the way, you do have a soul, you just need to open up your heart more and give it room to fly. Allow it to guide you into a better place than your mind presently resides.
Open your heart and ask for guidance, no religion or church required, just love yourself more and love of others.

Ever feel cobwebs on your face and head when none is there?

This is your guides letting you know they are close, but you will only feel this when your thoughts are positive and with love, for they cannot cut through negativity.

Love and Light
M

Answer 4

Bhagavad Gita (2.11) Says that those who are wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead.

This is because the soul never dies but simply change the body..
All those who died would have taken up some other body according to their deeds. So where is the Question of Lamentation...

Those who tell you that you do not have soul are ignorant of this fact. Let them waste their time in Lamentation...

Srimad Bhagavatam says that the Real Lamentation is loosing this Precious Life by not Serving God. If you are not able to serve God then its a thing to Cry since this opportunity is very rare....

Some how it looks like experience has given you a very good understanding of Life and Death, I would suggest that you get more depth on this life and Death and understand what is beyond that by Reading "Behaved Git As It Is". You can read it on-line at
http://www.krishna.com/gitaframeset/gita_frameset.html

Answer 5

Everybody deals with grief in their own way. Some get very outwardly emptional & gush all over the place while others retreat into themselves & deal with it in a much calmer way.
There is no right or wrong way. Do not feel guilty because you do not show your emotions outwardly & do not allow insensitive people to make you feel any less of a person for not crying openly. The fact that you care enough to ask this question proves that you have indeed got a soul.

Answer 6

What a horrible thing to say to anyone, of course you have a soul, your heart wouldn't beat without one, you are either a very, very strong person who no doubt hold others together through their grief or you are just as you say you are calm and quiet, there is no law or otherwise that states you have to cry over the death of a loved one, many people don't, they deal with in a way they know how, outpourings of grief can be done in many ways, you are a good soul and don't let anyone hurt you by saying you have no soul, good luck.

Answer 7

No you have a soul and a good heart. People deal with death in there own way, I'm Buddhist and yes life and death are the same you can't have one with out the other. Western culture still as a stigma attached to death.

Answer 8

No you dont have to cry to prove that. Grief usually numbs me for ages and I cant feel anything, I cry much later. Some people never do but it's no indication of not having any sadness or grief. We're all different in how we are in these situations.

Answer 9

No. People are so conditioned to seeing people openly mournful that they think it unusual for one not to be. We are each individuals and each of us deals with their grief in their own way. The ones who say you have a black heart are passing judgment without walking in your shoes. Just have patience with them as you know you do not and what they say is out of ignorance of knowing any better.

Answer 10

You hit the nail on the head by saying you have dealt with death from a very early age, and have learnt to control your grief over time. No you do not have to cry in front of people, I am sure that you grieve in your own way in your own privacy.