Am I wrong to expect?

Question

It was my birthday tuesday 15th of august,and although at work all my colegues remembered,( I had presents and cards from them), not one of my family remembered, I got nothing not even a "happy birthday".from them, it wasn't untill my father felt there was somthing wrong when I came home from work that it all came out and there was a huge row, he was very alpolitjetic that he had forgotten, and i did get a card from him the folowing day but nothing else and I got nothing from my brother or sister. I always remember birthdays and always get somthing for the people who mean alot to me... but now my family have told me i am very wrong to expect anything from them. I had more of a fuss made of me by my work mates than my own family. Am I wrong to expect my family members to remember my birthday?

Answer 1

No I do not think you are. My birthday was on Sunday, and I had the same problem. It sucks. I am sorry to hear that. Happy Birthday though, and hang in there.

Answer 2

No, you're not wrong. Your family sound pretty thoughtless and selfish, and I can understand why you're feeling hurt. It was lovely that your colleagues helped make your day special, but I'm sure it only highlighted your dejection to know that your family didn't care enough to make an effort. 'Not remembering' is no excuse, because a calendar can be bought very cheaply, put in a prominent place in the kitchen and special birthdays entered onto it. I wonder if you've asked them how they'd feel if you forgot their birthdays? Perhaps they're only being so defensive because of guilt feelings. I do have to add that, in my experience, remembering birthdays seems to be left to the woman of the house. Next year, make sure you mention your upcoming birthday every day in the week leading up to the 15th!

Answer 3

You are totally not wrong. I personally think your family is wrong. They should be very apologetic and have done something extra special to make it up to you. I suggest you have a night out with some mates and work colleagues to celebrate your birthday. I know its abit late but make it a belated birthday celebration. I think you should also sit down your family and tell them how you feel even though they might not like it. Ask them how they would feel if you forgot there birthday? Maybe this will make them realise? All the best .

Answer 4

No, l think your family sound really mean, it's usually family members who make the most fuss, no wonder you feel upset and hurt, in future you will know not to make a fuss over them. At least you have some good friends at work, next year you should arrange to celebrate and have a good time out with your friends, so you will still have some enjoyment on your big day. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Answer 5

Birthdays are special and I'm sure they'd like theirs remembered as well. Even after they remembered they should have at least went out and got you something or took you out to dinner etc? Its hard to forget but forgive and go on. Don't let this bring a wedge between you. One of your loved ones Birthday will come along and remind them of how you felt when yours was forgotten when you submit your gift. Don't let this stop you from being the great person you are! Continue to be the better person. Great things are ahead for you.

Answer 6

of course u should expect at least a happy birthday from ur family, ur mum and dad more than anyone, they brought u into this world, they know when ur birthday is, if they bring u into the world and then not remember ur birthday, then some serious questions need to be asked. do they remember ur siblings birthdays? if so i'd start asking ur parents if ur adopted or something (sorry don't mean to upset you) but it soulnds like either there's a major problem between ur parents that made them forget ur birthday or u are adopted

Answer 7

I was in the same boat here. I got a cake and all at work, and hubby didn't even acknowledge at home. I do not feel at all that you were out of line, and your family should remember you birthday. Some people are simply not as considerate, and thoughtful as others. I hope despite your family, that you have a good year.

Answer 8

How hurt must you feel? It is a very sad fact that some families just don't bother with one or two of their children and positively adore the other(s). I've had it, my son-in-law gets it all the time. His brothers get lovely presents but he gets nothing. I'm not sure what makes these people tick and to be perfectly frank it isn't our business to find out. You can never change anyone you can only change your response to their behaviour. Don't blame yourself for their insensitivity, don't try to fathom out why. Be assured that your colleagues obviously think you're ok enough to remember. There's a lot to be said for the old adage "You can't choose you family".
Try not to upset yourself.
Sending big hugs to you.

Answer 9

No, you are not wrong to expect your family to remember, particularly if you are one that always remembers their birthdays. I do believe that people get so wrapped up in life that they often times forget about others - even family members- and even the special dates (like birthdays and anniversaries) slip. One would think that they would be rather embarrassed by thier oversite and do something nice to make up for it. As for me, I would put a big "x" on my calendar to ensure that I did not make the same error next year.

Answer 10

no you shouldn't be wrong to expect family members to remember your birthday. Family is spose to be the most important thing to a person. Taking revenge is not the answer to the problem. Talk to your family to tell them how you are feeling about the issue, if you already have, you have to try another approach which i can not think of at the moment.

Answer 11

I too would be very upset if my family forgot my birthday, and I do not think it is wrong to expect at least a card from them, but I do hope you had a good birthday anyway and a happy year to follow.