it is okey if u say no to your parent regarding this matter?..and ask for 1 year break to think about it and find someone else to whom you believe that love is a matter at all?
2006-08-18 22:15:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It really depends what kind of parents you have. Ultimately, it is YOUR decision, but i think you can get a lot of advice from parents if they:
1. have a good relationship/marriage.
2. they really care about you.
3. they aren't forcing you, or even choosing, they're just giving you advice about your relationship.
Yes, it's ok to tell them no. Love matters!
but don't forget that your parents probably know more about you than you think. They've gone through a relationship and they know what it takes. they know your character traits and what sets you off. parents can be helpful in choosing the right someone for life.
-hope this helps.
2006-08-18 22:23:59 · answer #1 · answered by crystalanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a cultural matter. In some cultures, the family (usually the father in a paternalistic culture) make decisions regarding life partners. In other cultures, such as in the US, romantic love (and personal choice) plays a large role in life partner decisions.
If you are living in America and came to America to enjoy the benefits of individuality, then you should make up your own mind about a life partner. But if your parents are from a different culture, one that is paternalistic, then you are caught between two worlds--their world and your world. Some cultures throw people out of a family if they do not accept the father's decisions; some people have to endure the sadness of being thrown out or made unwelcome in a family. You may be faced with such a situation, and I feel for you because it is very difficult. But you have to decide: your parent's way or your way, and whatever you decide, you must accept the consequences.
Because I am American and Western, I think personal choice is important and that romantic love is important in a life partner decision. So I think that it is wrong for parents to make decisions for the life partners of their children...But from the perspective of a different culture, it is all right for the parents to decide...In this case, YOU have to decide which culture you want--your parent's or a different one. Only you can decide this.
2006-08-18 22:28:00 · answer #2 · answered by Pandak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah. because it is you whom is going to spend the rest of your life with the person they choose, not them (unless they are physic). i think the 1 year period is good, maybe ask for 5 years (if your still young), so you can find out the best person that suits you.
2006-08-18 22:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Raven Hood® 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with arranged marriages (and if you met my parents you'd know why).
I think it's perfectly OK to say No and to take time to think about it.
This is the rest of your life you're talking about and it's not about ddisrespecting anyone it's about trying to make the happiest and best life for yourself that you can.
2006-08-18 22:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kitia_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! It's your life and you are the person who will be spending your life with that person, NOT your parents. Choose the one YOU love, not the one your parent chooses. However, it would be nice to get their advice, but don't let them choose entirely.
2006-08-18 22:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to let my parents decide with whom i;m gonna spend ,y life with of course no, it is a decision has to be made by me, and that doesn't mean that their opinion is not necessary
2006-08-18 22:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by Sasoke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i don't think it's right at all why would you want to marry someone your not attracted to b/c your parents want you to! I think it's wrong.
2006-08-18 22:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have the right to say NO.no one can force you to marry someone you dont want. its all your choice .your the one whos living with this man not your parents
2006-08-18 22:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by mama seeta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parents can only help their child with their experience but never dump their choices on children .
2006-08-18 22:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by spandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL IT IS YOU WHO HAS TO DECIDE BUT SURELY YOUR PARENTS CAN HELP YOU MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE
2006-08-18 22:23:29 · answer #10 · answered by Avatar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋