is there any real possibility of recovering from childhood abuse?

Question

i know there is counselling and therapy.. but has anyone out there experienced childhood abuse and feels as an adult that they have recovered fully? or is the damage permanent?

Answer 1

it's how you language it. Damage is a strange word. you are how you think more than anything. What has happened is not who you are. you don't forget it or make it go away but you don't give in to it. if you think of it as damage and something to recover I guess you'll get stuck in a cycle of negative thinking. NLP is very effective..neuro linguistic programming.. because of abuse your life takes a certain path and purpose but it's only one experience and not your whole life unless that is what you choose. so yes and no is the answer to your question. it's what you tell yourself.

Answer 2

Thankfully, I have never been in your situation, but your question caught my attention. I have read all the constructive supporting answers and those that were negative. In regard to the negative ones, I say ignore them. With such feelings and hurt you have suffered, it must help to be able to read these constructive answers. Children are vunerable & adults know it. Because it is not a subject for general conversation, I think Yahoo is a good way for you to understand how others have coped. To ask advice annonymously. Everyone has a different personality to cope with Life, and their reactions and advice may differ, but they all trying to help by showing they too have suffered and giving you hope and support both practical and emotional. By reading the diferent answers, you can then find your own way & know you can get through, the way others have done.

People I know, even strangers, often confide in me. So reading all the replies has given me knowledge too, in that should anyone ever confide in me about such personal situations, I would hope to be able feel I helped by their talking and my responses. Only once, did a fellow student suddenly come out with that he had been abused as a child. He was "over it" in that he spoke, not of detail, but only the occurence in his life. His way of coping was to try and do voluntary work, with younger children who were being so abused.

I don't think you will ever forget, but think of the past as belonging to a different part of your life. Perhaps you could imagine a row of rocket ships at the end of a garden. Each time a "bad" memory comes, picture yourself walking down the garden, placing that particular memory inside the rocket ship & press the fire button & send it to outer space & watch it "burn up". This sounds very much like the ideas others are giving you.

Talking to the right counsellers is necessary, as so many people are helped this way. Hope this helps you a little, even though the others have more practical experienced advice. Take care, and "God Bless" - even though I'm not religious!!!

Answer 3

Some abusers are narcissists. These individuals have very low self-esteem, usually from some kind of abuse in their own childhoods, and they cope by creating a falsely inflated self and by looking to others for "narcissistic supply" -- admiration, attention, etc....To these individuals, everything is about them. Some will even that say that outright, with pride. They are highly manipulative and lack empathy. (As soon as the subject turns to you, they lose interest!)

If you think you may have been wounded by a narcissist, there's a great online forum/support group, Narcissistic Personality Disorder Refuge (NPDR) at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/npd...

There IS healing. It IS possible to undo the dismantling that abusers to and restore the integrity of the human spirit.

:) Jen

Answer 4

Depends on the abuse. I was sexually abused as a child and I've done the therapy. I've made alot of progress, but since it shaped the kind of person I am now and how I react to things, I know there's permanant damage.

Answer 5

I was sexually abused by my father when i was 13 yrs old. I do not feel i am damaged i can talk about it (helps 100%) but i feel i am a strong person and i don't use it as a scape goat for thing that happen. I have a son i have been marred (died from a heart attack) my son has never been abused. people should be made stronger by misshaps not weaker . the weak person is the abuser

Answer 6

Yes you can recover. I have severe doubts about conselling. I had a fairly traumatic childhood, but I firmly believe the best way to recover is to lock the bad memories up in a box. Write them down on a piece of paper, seal it in an envelope, and lock it away. Then walk away from it and live your life. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

boy How-Dee is this a tuff one...
I think my biggest secret to recovery was first off admitting it... I was never raped, just fondled, groped & grabbed... But it was a terrifying experience just the same.... But it seemed as long as I kept it inside, I hid what "they" did to me... It made me feel as maybe my keeping it a secret made me just as guilty??? I still to this day don't understand why I didn't rat them out for the dogs they are... But I didn't.... I even blocked one of my abusers out because he was my bestest friend's Dad, & I didn't remember it until the day I went to his funeral & that was some 25 years later... My point is, you can heal from this.... Don't let the low down good for nothing, scum sucking, gonna burn in hell jackass, that abused you keep winning... Because if they can make you unhappy as an adult, they are still the abuser....
The next way I started the healing process was to forgive myself, & realize that it was not my fault....
Write to yourself.... Because if you are like me, it as if it happened to someone else, because when the abuse happens it can rob you of the innocence & trust only a child can know, & make you grow up way too fast, so write to the child that got lost in the abuse...
But remember this, it is NEVER to late to have a happy childhood, as we are all children, just different ages....
Life is so short, yesterday is gone, & the present is called a present because that's just what it is.....
Hang in there k?
:o)

Answer 8

It all depends on you, the way you handle it, and your positive attitude. What helps you in it are the people around you. If they are loving and caring, then you get the strength to face it, and forget it for good. The most important would be the life partner. If he is the one who understands, and mature enough to handle it, then you will surely come out of it. Because hiding it from him will put you under pressure all the time.
Being a male I know it will not be eay for someone to digest this reality about her wife, but we should all be positive, as it is no fault of yours. So be positive, and find the right person..God Bless You..Ameen

Answer 9

I really feel for you but this is not the site to talk about it, you need to talk to someone who has total understanding of the abuse, I wouldn't want to talk about it so openly on here to anyone, its a very personal thing and goes too deep, the best advice I can give you is to get proper counselling and stop been your abusers victim, its another form of them having control over you, please get proper help, it really does work, good luck.

Answer 10

I agree with Feudelsurfer that counselling is not always the best way as reliving all the evil makes matters worse, I also agree with him that you should lock them away, this is what I do with bad memories, picture pushing them in a cupboard, boarding it up and locking the door, and then another locked cupboard for further bad thoughts and memories, as many cupboards as you need, it does actually work and when you feel like they are creeping back again do it all again.