i want to talk to my boyfriend bout problems i feel that we're having but every time i do we end up in a big fight!
how do i fix this what do i say??? pls help ASAP
2006-08-18 20:54:02 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You guys are having a communication problem. Maybe try this....
Set up ground rules....here are a few suggestions:
1. Discuss only one issue at a time...stay on topic.
2. No bringing up stuff from the past not related to the issue.
3. Be willing to hear the other side. And see it from their perspective.
4. No interupting. Use a magic wand. Whoever has the wand speaks without interuption until they turn it over to the other person.
5. Don't cloud the issue with little stuff....get to the heart of the matter.
6. No swearing or raising your voice. Yelling doesn't get you heard. Speak softly and sweetly cause you never know when you might have to eat your words.
7. When you get the wand....always start the conversation with "the reason I'm about to say this is to make our relationship stronger babe". Always start with this phrase.....never forget!!
Give it a try....it's better than what your currently doing! And remember....a calm conversation with a sincere desire to find a solution can overcome just about anything. Good luck!
2006-08-18 21:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a third, no not in the bedroom, well maybe there too, but while you are talking about your problems, you can go see a preist, or pastor, whichever, or a marriage counselor, or substance abuse class or a good friend or family member if they know what they are doing...then with the other person there, he should not get crazy on you, but make sure he knows what your doing, don't just show up with someone out of the blue and shock him...after you try all this, then I think you should leave him, hes not going to change, he doesnt think he is doing anything wrong...so start looking around...
2006-08-18 21:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by wizzard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation many times. I am very dominant and so is my husband. You can write a letter telling him what seems to be the problem from your side and next when you see him make him sit down, give him something to drink and then present him with you letter and ask him (NOT TELL HIM) to read it while you wait patiently till he finishes and then tell him that he does not need to answer it immediately but that you would like him to think about the problem and that you would like to discuss the matter maturely.
2006-08-18 21:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by C Fanfoni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are obviously big differences between the two of you which lead to constant proving to one-another who's right and who's wrong. That is so childish! Allowing him to have his way, you will eventually lose yourself, and being stubborn about having your way all the time will make you miserable over constant fighting. This is a lose-lose situation. I say find a better match!
2006-08-18 21:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by Petra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mandy, If you are trying to solve problems you have as a couple and all you and your b.f. do is fight.I would say,it's time to move on with your life.Why,because thats all you 2 will be doing fighting all the time and thats no way to have a relationship.Sweety,you will never be happy with his guy.Believe me i know,i had a relationship like your and all it did was get worse.So cut the string and move on.
Clowmy
2006-08-18 21:07:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Ask to talk to him one more time and stress to him how important it is. If he does not want to kick him to the curb. He obviously isn't interested. Good luck!
2006-08-18 21:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both need to learn to communicate better. If it's starts getting out of hand, take a break and start over at a later time.
2006-08-18 20:59:44 · answer #7 · answered by Private Account 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If discussing your problems leads to a fight, which is another problem, I'd seriously reconsider having him as your boyfriend. Without communication you don't have a relationship.
2006-08-18 20:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you really listening to each other?or the whloe time hes talking are you thinking about what you are going to say? most people dont know how to listen.Try role playing,you pretend you are him and he pretends he is you.That might give you a different perspective on the situation. keep in mind you dont have to agree on everything!
2006-08-18 21:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u must try talkin at a time u r in control of ur temper!! be honest see his side as well!! if that doesn't work then give ur b/f the initiative to try to solve them!if he doesn't care then it's up to u if u wanna go on being his g/f
2006-08-18 21:00:28 · answer #10 · answered by maria32greece 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋