I've been with my boyfriend for more than 2 years. Our relationship is going through different stages and we've been taking things pretty slow. I mean we do not discuss marriage, kids or anything like that. Maybe because we both still need time before settling down. But, I know one thing and that is that I love my boyfriend very much and I'd like to be with him and closer to him geographically to be able to experience our relationship fully. For the past year, we've been living in separate countries and we see each other about once a month. We're both from Europe. We've had some difficult times together due to the distance but I have learned to relax a little bit more and to be more easy-going about our relationship. He is 2 years younger than me, I am 28. I'm aware that he's still very young and he's a very ambitious person and I have no intentions to stop him from building his career. But, I'd like to at least live closer to him and he has been talking about working abroad.
2006-08-18 20:33:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didn't want to put pressure on him but I also wanted to know if he is planning to move somewhere else, what is going to happen with us? He works in his country now but as I said his dream is to work abroad. I am a pretty open-minded person as I have been living abroad for the past 9 years. I don't want to put any pressure on him, however, I don't want to loose him and our relationship. I sent him a message and I asked him if he decides to go somewhere else to work, maybe I could come with him? and I asked what he thought about it? I know that it is a very hard question and I do not expect him to give me some great answers but I worry now if I made a mistake by asking?
He replied to me and told me that it's a very important thing to talk about and we shouldn't talk about it over a text message. He said I shouldn't worry too much as nothing is done..
2006-08-18 20:33:34 · update #1
well ur not wrong if u ask him this question but also as he said u shouldn't talk about it in text message.. i mean to travel and live with him u have to marry him and so marriage stuff are not stuff u can just text message each other about it and so try to call him or if u can see each other and discuss the matter together and see what's the best solution to come with..
good luck
2006-08-18 20:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by ayooo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I think it's good that you asked him because being honest in a relationship is very important. I agree with him that this you should talk about in person. But as you said, you've done just fine for the last couple of years, so why mess up everything now??
I know what you mean, asking him to give up on everything he has and move into another country is a really big and serious thing to do, and it's no wonder if soon he starts acting a bit weird because it implies that you're taking this relationship seriously, and soon he will have to make a serious decision.
That's a tricky situation, but I guess you need to take a chance. This is the only way you'll find out how he feels about it.
But if you find out that he's as serious as you are, maybe you moving into his apartment, or he into yours would be an option. :)
Take care & good luck!
2006-08-19 03:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Petra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing worng in asking. THe question is not important. waht is important is HOW you ask him. If you are gonna ask in a manner that he finds binding or stopping his dreams the whole thing will go for a toss.
One warning, I dont think the guy has made up his mind about u. I would suggest you guys first find out if BOTH of you are interested in the relationship? If the guy was sure about you, he wudnt mind talking about this over text messages, phone, chat whatever. and DO NOT believe in the old saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" it dosent hold any more. I doubt if it ever did.
2006-08-19 04:06:53 · answer #3 · answered by si11y13yte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-08-19 03:54:09 · answer #4 · answered by Kianna A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have mentioned mainly your wishes. Wouldn't it be a good idea to ask him first about what HE wants? how HE sees his future/your common future? Don't start like 'I want this and this', ask what are HIS wishes and check if living together is one of them.
I wouldn't discuss such issues by text messages either. It's better to talk about it face-to-face (ideally) or by phone at least.
However, even if he's not eager to live with you at the moment, don't be sad, don't think that YOU have done smth wrong. It's not all about you.He has his ideas what his life should be.
Perhaps, if you gave him some time to think it over, let's say 3 months... he would change his mind and ask you to move with him wherever. Good luck!
p.s. you can mail me if you wish.
2006-08-19 04:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by jinnee_mark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask and you did, nothing was wrong with that and the two of you should talk together in person about it. It sounds like the two of you love each other i hope it all works outl
2006-08-19 03:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by butterflyfrills 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you guys are face to face. It sounds like you guys are close and why not move in together. You also have a life and dont worry about "clipping his wings."
2006-08-19 03:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it was fair of you to ask.
i mean it only shows how much you truely like/love this guy.
and i'm sure he wouldnt mind, but would you by leaving everyting to go with him? are you ready for that?
maybe you need to sit back and think about this first...
can you see yourself with him in 5 years? 20??
i think it needs to be talked among yourselves alittle more :)
2006-08-19 03:41:27 · answer #8 · answered by twinklieetoes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will advise that if you believe in God just prayer that His will be done in this situation. It is pretty complicated.I wish you all the best.
2006-08-19 03:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by freeall_freeme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then dont deny it
2006-08-19 03:51:35 · answer #10 · answered by yukmouth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋