Im gay and my mom hates me for it i dont believe it is a choice and she thinks i chose this to get at her.?

Question

What can i do?

Answer 1

There's nothing u can do. Parents want "the best" for their children, which usually means the best by their standards. Try to explain to her that whether it's a choice or not, it's your life & it has nothing to do with her.

She's probably thinking of the grandchildren she wont be having.

Answer 2

She sounds pretty self-centered if she thinks you based your entire sexuality around "getting at her." She has the choice to open her mind, and she is not choosing it. It may take time, but you can't force her. I wish you could, because it isn't fair that she isn't treating your decisions with more respect. But child/parent relationships are often full of really big obstacles, whether a person is gay or not. I

think you will just have to accept the idea that her mind isn't in the same place as yours is now. She was raised in another generation with a different set of beliefs. You can hope that time will help her get used to the situation, and that her love for you will help her overcome her prejudice. But if she can't accept you, you can't make her. All you can do is live your life the way you feel you are meant to, and be open to talking to her when she is ready to be more realistic.

I hope it all works out, and I am sorry you have to go through this sort of stress.

Answer 3

Nothing, she's having a hard time accepting u for who u are, u have to understand that from the day u were born she had ideas of what ur life was going to be like as an adult.. marriage, grandkids.. ect.. and that has all just been dashed to her.. give her time, be understanding to her feelings.. but realize that if she cant love u for who u are, then u have to go ur own way.. its one thing to not agree with what ur child is doing, its another to not love them..

Answer 4

It's not a choice. It is a trait that you are born with and you can not do anything about that. Your mom may never understand but you have to live for yourself. But I don't think its anything that you should apologize for. Be true to yourself and allow her the same privilege. There are a lot of people who never get any approval from a parent for lots of reasons. Just keep on keeping on and let her deal with the feelings of abandoning her own child. She's to blame for that, not you.

Answer 5

I think all parents feel that way she'll come around just back off and give her some time to think things over. She's your mother the one who gave you life she can't turn her back on you, she is just confused thats all and maybe a little hurt.

Answer 6

the only thing you can do is be yourself and try to be what makes you the most happy
in time mothers will understand that you canot change the spots on a leapard
be truthfull is the best approach living a lie always has a negative ending.

Answer 7

What does it matter if you're gay??!?! Your her son and she should love you no matter what. I give you kudos for being you. You should just let her know your not going to put up with her attitude. Ignore her for a while and give the chance to realize that you being gay doesn't matter.

Answer 8

well, she is your mother and shes upset... you are who you are.. and being gay just needs time to be accepted.. she will come around eventually... and if she doesnt, well.. i know shes your mom and all.. but who cares what she thinks?? >:D< just give her time... but dont change yourself to make somebody else happy... you should make yourself happy before others... and that should be the same for anybody..

Answer 9

Tell her it is a hormone imbalance and can be corrected by taking testosterone.

Answer 10

I'm sorry that your mother has chosen to view your sexual orientation as a personal attack; PFLAG has resources that may be helpful for your mother, as well as yourself.