How do you stop caring what others people think of you?

Question

How do you stop caring what others people think of you? I always seem to care and worry about what others think of me how do I stop that. When someone says something negative to me I dwell on it for long time. How do I stop caring about this little stuff.

Answer 1

You can seek professional help, or you can help yourself with behavioral modification. Condition your mind to think positive and start loving yourself.

It does not matter what other people think about you as much as it does pertaining to how you think about yourself.

Surround your life with positive people and positive thoughts. Stay away from negativity for starters.

You could start by telling yourself that you love yourself. And that you are the most important person in the world. (Look in the mirror when you say this so that you can see yourself). Make it a daily habit.

Sound like you have very low self esteem.

You will be amazed how fast the mind will respond to the postive as opposed to the negative with positive thoughts if you surrround your life with the positive an avoid the negative.

Advise from a clinical psychiatrist

Answer 2

First, I think a lot of it is personality. Some people really roll with the punches, others are very sensitive to every word or even other's body language. Some people imagine insults that were meant to be jokes or lighthearted banter.

Second, I think it is maturity level and age. As a teenager, I worried a lot more than I do now - but not as much as others - what people thought about me. I think that is normal when you are younger.

As I've grown, I worry less and less. If it's someone I really care about of course I care more. But strangers and acquaintances, I could give a crap. My decisions are well thought out and informed, and I don't need validation from others. My husband, my mother, my family, maybe. Anyone else, no.

Third, it could be they are tapping in to your own insecurities and making you defensive. First think about who it is that upsets you? Is it more likely to be strangers, friends, peers, coworkers, your mom? Who? Then think about the types of things they say that upset you. Are you sensitive about something in particular? Your weight, your penis size, your appearance, your personality, your clothing, your finances - what? Could the things that bother you be things that you would like to change about yourself, know are wrong, or feel defensive about? I find that if you feel confident about yourself and the choices you made, things are less likely to bother you. If this is what's happening, consider the comments whether they were made with good intentions or are mean spirited. Are these things you can change? You can't get taller, or have a larger penis, or change your skin color so anyone who harps on those things is just rude so move on to the next paragraph. But if what they say is true - are you a little overweight, insensitive, lazy, smoke too much pot? Those are all things you can change. Then consider setting forth your own plan to change these things and don't let them influence you. Change things for yourself.

Fourth, if these are friends/family/coworkers/peers who bother you instead of strangers, another possibility is you are surrounded by rude or negative people who are skilled at emotional manipulation. They recognize you are maybe more sensitive and easily bothered and they are the type of people that feel good by hurting you. You need to distance yourself from people like this and disarm them by shrugging off their insults and comments with a curt, "Whatever" or an eye roll and silence. Refuse to answer other than a short firm, "Well I like it" or "That's what I've decided to do" or "I don't care to discuss it" then clearly change the subject and don't let them see that it bothers you. I find that if you do that, after awhile it becomes empowering and things really don't bother you so much.

Answer 3

As with anything , it can take time, maturity, etc. If you are comfortable and confident about yourself and who you are, you dont care what others think. Maybe work on self esteem for yourself. Check out stuff at the library or even online. You'll be fine, life is too short to torture yourself over other people. Remember, its your life! Good luck.

Answer 4

Start complementing yourself, hang around positive people, and most importantly ignore people. Try and make you reality less about others, and if there bad stuff to be said about you; Whose fault is it really? Don't live a life worried about being judged, you'll end up like someone you wont like in the end.

Answer 5

You could try cognitive behavioural therapy. It's a type of counselling that is used to basically retrain your brain and alter your negative thought processes.

It would be especially effective for what you describe. See if your doc can refer you to someone who specialises in this type of therapy. Good luck and take care : )

Answer 6

just stop caring..for example when someone does something in front of you, for that person is something embarrassing but for you that have seen them is no big deal..a human always make a big thing for nothing,,stop worrying about what others think,,let them go see their wrongs first...their thoughts wont do you any harm or good...have self stem

Answer 7

you ask yourself what is it that is so miserable about these ppl that they have nothing else better to do than to barge in on your private life?i used to have to tell my neghbors that . i would say is your life so patatic you have nothing better to do than worry about mine. i have a little saying and you have to think about this one ok? "if your house is a mess dont tell me how to clean mine"i used to be like you, worry about every little thing ppl would say up to "does my hair look ok" i finally just make the best of my life,dont worry about what they are saying because you have enough to do without worrying about the mess your neighbors gotta clean up because one day they will get tired of trying to run yours

Answer 8

you need to focus on other things.. right now your mind is a little obsessed with this issue. so if you can shift your focus to something else.. then you wouldn't dwell so much on this.

Answer 9

Self help books and taped should help.You cannot be a people pleaser all the time.No matter what you do someone will not like you regardless,and others will manipulate you too.http://shop.jmmestore.org/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1574

Answer 10

you need to grow an ego my friend you need to think of yourself as good no matter what people say about you and you belive it then you will not need other people to tell you how good you really are.