HELP! How do I stop this relationship?

Question

I have been seeing this guy for 9 months. A month into being with him I found out that he was married with kids but separated. I should have stopped seeing him right then and there, but I liked him and I thought he was leaving her. Only I found out 3 months ago that he wasn't going to get divorced. He said he couldn't handle anyone else raising his kids. I've tried to break it up three times, but I keep going back. Once I start feeling lonely and start missing him I go right back. He has this hold of me and I don't know how to get away. He is very controlling and jelaous. When going out he freaks out even if I look at a guy. I tried going on dates but I can't think of anyone but him. I'm loosing my friends and I'm finding myself being more and more depressed. He's all I can think of and the times I broke up with him I just didn't know how to deal with the feelings I had afterwards. How am I supposed to stay away from him after I say it's over? Anyone has any advice? Thanks.

Answer 1

You stop this relationship by taking control. This guy is not worth it. Reread the situation you just described. He is a cheater and a manipulater and he's probably verbally abusive since you seem to think you deserve the crumbs and misery he's handing out.
No one can help you stop this relationship. You have to make the choice to walk away and stay gone.
When you decide to do that it will be truly over. This is my advice on how you break away.
1. Refuse to see him for any reason. (Just pretend he has a very fatal contagious disease.)
2. Don't take his phone calls and don't call him. Erase his numbers from your phone.
3. Get rid of pictures and things that remind you of him.
4. Take up a new hobby. It will keep your mind off of him.
5. Focus on yourself, your family and friends. Now that the relationship has ended . You will now have more time to cultivate the other relationships in your life.

You already know the relationship is going nowhere. Just keep reminding yourself that as long as he's in you life he's blocking you from a better relationship. Plus the longer you stay with him you're just acquiring more and more baggage that could hinder with your next man.
Drop him. Put it down as a life experience thatt you've learned a lot from and move on. The more you waste tiime with Mr. Wrong the longer you'll have to wait for Mr. Right. It's over. All you have to do is be strong & smart enough to let it go. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Girl...first of all, He's MARRIED! And he's told you that he's not going to get a divorce! There's your answer! Stay away from him.....especially if he's the jealous controling type! (like he has a right to tell you that you can't look at other people! He's frackin married! He's probably still sleeping with her at times!) Anyway...you gotta get away from that relationship. It's not good for you. You're depressed because you've let these feelings for him get in the way of friendships with other people....and now you have no one to lean on! Call some of those friends back and just tell them you need a shoulder to lean on to support you while you are going through all of this. You can't go through it alone! But LEAVE THE GUY! and be around people who actually do care about you! Thye can help you keep your mind off of his sorry butt until you no longer think of him as you do now.

Answer 3

Hey i feel for you. relationships are hard. You obviously are trying to set boundaries but are not keeping them. by you taking him back after you say its "over" is telling him subconsciously that he can do anything he wants and you will not leave him. The best advice i can give you is walk away and STAY away. If you fight with calling or seeing him, call a friend and tell them what your going through. i see you have put some time into this relationship, but are you really gonna sit by and be "the other woman" honey you deserve better than that for yourself. I promise this and i only know from experience, while your wasting your time with this self-centered man, you are missing out on a truly wonderful and fulfilling relationship with the "right" guy. If he wants to go back to his wife, let him, there are plenty of wonderful men out there waiting for you. Nothing Ventured Nothing gained..in other words, if you are not willing to really give this relationship up, than it can not and will not be replaced with something wonderful. good luck

Answer 4

well hon i think that you've in that short space of time defined your life according to this man and now you can't undo the threads that you've so intricately woven together. you need to not get involved with someone else but daily work at cutting the ties. start doing things that are different form what the two of you would do, get rid of mementos, start making different friends, move to a different state if possible. when or if you find yourself missing him do something unusual, bungee jumping or ballroom dancing, something that is really not like you. anyhow all the best.

Answer 5

when you break up with him your feeling vlunerable and lonely, you have to realize that its not because of him your feeling that way its becaue your scared you can do no better than this guy...

This is not true.
You need to get a grip on your personal reality and realize the sun dosen't revolve around this guy, I feel that a reliance has been built upon his controling nature, and once you call it quits you feel lost without him there to tell you waht to do, that does not mean you should go back to him for that support however, I feel its in your best interst to realize you have within yourself all the control and stability you need to get over him, despite all the confusion.

Answer 6

RUN NOW! Change your phone number, email and all contact info, don't speak to him anymore he is hurting your chance at having a healthy relationship in the future. He is using you and will never be the person you need him to be. Ask your family or friends for support to help you through this rough time, but get away from now

Answer 7

You don't get out much, do you? This story is soooooo old, soooooo repetitive, sooooooo common. So, you want to be someone's mistress, huh? I certainly hope he is paying for your rent, your furs, your dresses, etc. Cause that is all you are going to get....NOW, I will say this is a new excuse...NO one raising his kids. And you still fall for it? Lord, I thought women had wised up along the way....I was just wrong. AND, he is controlling on top of all that. You have chosen a winner...you should be very proud of yourself.

Answer 8

You need to rebound!! It may hurt but go on a few dates and take it day by day and if it's meant to be he will leave and come to you. If you love something let it go if it comes back to you it's yours to keep. Just try the dating thing maybe he will see he is going to lose you if he does not smarten up. If you just want to get rid of him than you need to start dating and take it slow with the next one! best of luck!!

Answer 9

resently today i broke up wit my b/f but i cant quit going to him either but even wen i hang out wit the guyfriends he gets jeoluss but today i finaly i told him i was through goin out wit him and i feel good because i no i can and desorve better then him and i love being single i get 2 flirt wit any 1 i want and i no he is miserable b/c 2day he called me 48 times trying 2 opalagies to me but i dont care and u shouldnt either b/c if he really loves u he'd get devorsed and focus on u and im 11 years old so get over him find another man

Answer 10

do no longer call it quits yet. you need to consult along with her on the telephone. you need to truly attempt to work out her. only connect up along with her someplace in public, how can your mothers and fathers provide up that? Jealousy is a terrible component, however. If it incredibly is already undesirable, then you definately ought to ought to take a destroy. My boyfriend and that i've got been relatively jealous for the 1st 2 a million/2 years of being at the same time. It tore me aside on a daily basis. at last, he felt smothered and ended up getting puzzled liking yet another lady. We broke up for six months, and now each little thing is far greater effectual. we are no longer stupidly jealous anymore. Btw, it is not ok to your better half to 'reason you to sense such as you won't be ready to talk to different ladies and vice versa. you need to have freedom. you won't even relatively need to talk to different ladies, yet your lady chum needs to believe you sufficient to no longer complication approximately it. besides, i've got babbled sufficient. I only comprehend from own adventure, you need to get this jealousy component under administration and start up trusting one yet another until eventually now it ruins each little thing.