Is the kind of guilt same in these situations? CHRISTIANS ONLY PLEASE?

Question

I know that some Christians who didn't wait until marriage feel really guilty for not keeping their virginity. Explain that feeling. I know that raped people feel guilty, doomed, dirty, and all get out. So I was wondering if that's the same kind of guilt?

I'm not intending to say in any way that that's how women should feel I'm just wondering what level of guilt is that is it anywhere close to being a victim of rape or way off if you lose your virginity before marriage and you believe and worship God. If it's way off explain the guilt of not saving it till marriage.

Answer 1

The "guilt" feeling of some people who were raped is different.

This is how: First, some people who were raped feel that they did something to bring it on or else didn't do enough to try to stop it. Rape is a horrible crime for many reasons, but one big reason is that it violates intimate space. Sex is normally an intimate, consensual, loving thing, and when someone forces another to have sex, they are defiling that--as well as defiling the person's private body. And since women, especially, are sometimes taught that they are responsible for way more than we are responsible for, women often feel guilty for being raped. "Blame the victim," you know. There is a whole history of accusing women of bringing the rape on herself. Never mind that rape is a violent crime. It is a violent crime that uses sexual body parts, but it is not about sex: It is about power, control, and hatred.

Now, the guilt of having sex before marriage is guilt of conscience and duty. That type of guilt comes from wishing you had done something differently for one reason but having gone ahead and done what you wanted anyway. There is no crime in sex before marriage. The problem that some people have is with the morality issue--and also an issue of faithfulness toward God.

People CAN feel guilty, doomed, and dirty about having had premarital sex. Not all do.

I can't really comment one way or other on the whole morality issue, because I haven't worked it out for myself. I tend to doubt that God would condemn someone for having premarital sex...but I'm not God, so I don't know. It seems forgivable, though. It is not blasphemy and it is not refusal to accept the gift of salvation. It is one of the finer points of morality.

I don't know, girl. But what I do know is that the guilt that a person who was raped might feel and the guilt that someone who had premarital sex might feel are two different types of guilt.

Answer 2

Nah. The engagement ceremony covers it.

Very often, the priest or monk couldn't come by the village more than once a year (no cars back then, and monk shortage), so there would be an engagement ceremony while he was present, and no one condemned young couples if they were sexually active after that. That's why engagements couldn't be broken, and people took them as seriously as marriage. In the modern era, we have this ideal stuck in our minds about "first times", and "honeymoons"

Your question, however, seems to be directed at women. Shouldn't guys keep themselves pure, too?

And I could never understand guilt feelings from a rape victim. Anger, rage, humiliation, the feeling of being a pile of 5hit, yes, but not guilt. Why on earth would anyone harbour one iota of guilt for something like that? May as well be guilty for being born.

edit: now that I've thought a little more deeply upon it, it really doesn't have anything to do with "losing" virginity so much as it has to do with breaking your word. There is no honor in that. And as such, honor cannot be regained unless death or suffering redeem it. Maybe that's why there's penance.

Answer 3

I would say that it is way different.
I did not wait till I was married all though I am married to the man I lost mine to. I cannot say I feel guilty but I do feel like I should have waited to make it right.
Rape, I have never had that happen, I have been molested but thankfully not raped. I would venture to say that guilt is the type that you keep saying to your self could you have done something different so that you were not in that situation. That is my guess.

Answer 4

I think the difference is how one 'looses' ones virtue. It is not lost, it is given away or it is taken.

I have experienced both, as have many women.

I don't feel guilt about it anymore (either one). I just feel kind of sad about it. For the times I gave it away, sad because I love my husband and wish that had been between us only. For the time it was taken, I feel sad that I put myself at that risk so foolishly.

So, no, there is no guilt for either since I have asked for and received forgiveness. But there are always those consequences and they will remain as long as I live.

Answer 5

Don't even feel guilty.

Rape is a terrorists crime and was punishable by death in the Old Testament. I believe it should be now.

Committing fornication is breaking God's Commandments and also has a death penalty attached to it.

But, you have a Kinsmen Redeemer in your court if you have accepted Jesus Christ as Saviour.

Talk to your Father in the name of His Son Jesus Christ. Tell Him you have mess up again. Ask for forgiveness. What father would not forgive his daughter when she humbles herself before him and says how sorry she is.

Put it all on Jesus. No more guilt anymore.

Now go and sin no more.><>

Answer 6

A healthy person doesn't carry guilt around,they ask for forgiveness and know by faith they have been forgiven and continue not to keep continuing doing the same sin over and over again. We try to be better people but we will never be free from sin 100% because we are human. Christan's are human.

Answer 7

if ur heart is pure and ur not condemned by it inside and you stand before God with a pure heart all things are lawful for you.... i wont try to justify anything though its personal ... but true repentence gets rid of the guilt ... do you not believe that God is able to forgive you?

Answer 8

What's up with you? One is by choice, albeit BAD choice. The other is forced upon someone.

How could it be the same type of guilt?

P.S. - Christians don't have the market cornered on reason & common sense...

Answer 9

only God knows because i have felt guilty i dont know what any other kinds of guilty lets not turn this into something no one can understand. but so i guess

Answer 10

only people whos has sex before marriage would know